A little help

[Tobias]

Alright, I'm having some block-issues, and i can't think of where to go next.
For background, im writing a story for my creative writing class. It's fiction, and can be pretty much whatever I want it to be. The basis for the story is that it takes place in manhattan, and one day, the sun turns black, the sky turns white, and everything turns to metal EXCEPT for the main character. Furthermore, there is something watching him.

Anywho, this is what i've got so far. Please comment and give me some insight...I'm a bit lost, but i really like this idea.

MACHINA

When I was 16 I once dreamt that the world ended. The sky turned white and the sun went black and red clouds wisped from the black sun. Everyone around me became a silhouette and they stopped moving. They became statues and it was quiet.

The only thing I could think of when I saw this was that it was bad. I was the only person still moving and still breathing.
I was alone.

I woke up the next morning and went to school. I knew how the world could end and I would be there to see it. After several days I forgot about it and went about my business. I was 27 when the sky finally did go white and the sun went black and everyone stopped and turned to steel.

I was in Grand Central Terminal when it finally clicked in my head what was about to happen. Everyone became washed over with white light and was silhouetted. I felt my back contort and begin to break under a magnificent weight and I fell back. I blacked out at that point.

I woke up in darkness and I could only think – I didn’t feel. I saw my feet, from the bottom of the arch to the top and toes in between, and slowly my feet were beneath me. From there, the stumps connected to my ankles became legs which went into my groin and waist. My body began to take shape in my mind and I could finally see my stomach and chest and the arms that connected to my shoulders with hands that connected to the wrists. I saw a bitter wind cut across my face and I was cold, and I knew my face and head were on top of my neck, which was situated at the top of my shoulders and back. The wind blew hair onto the top of my head in a throng of locks that wasn’t long or short.

After several minutes the darkness wasn’t there. The sky was white and the sun was no longer yellow but black. It illuminated everything like dusk, yet the hole in the sky was at high noon. The thin red clouds appeared against the white sky like the nerves in an eye, and the great black sun in the middle was a pupil.

I was staring up at the ceiling of Grand Central Terminal and found myself following the lines that connected the giant constellations together. After Ursa Major I sat up and took a look around and noticed that no one moved. People were frozen like statues. One man was right next to me and he was holding a briefcase. His legs were suspended in movement and the momentum of his stride knocked him down after he was changed. His suit jacket was frozen from his running. His face had lines on the forehead and stubble that felt like cold briars. His eyes were wide and empty except for the pupils, which were looking straight ahead. I tried to wrench the briefcase from his hand, but it was solidly connected to his right hand. That was when I noticed that my right arm wouldn’t move.

From my elbow to the tips of my fingers my arm was coated with steel. I tried telling it to move, but it wouldn’t listen. It just sat at my side and felt cold. I could feel it, but it couldn’t feel me.

My stomach felt empty, which prompted me to get up and walk into the food court in the lower level. The lights were still on and the walls were still concrete, but the people were all frozen in place. I wondered how the light managed to penetrate this far underground where natural light doesn’t quite reach.

[shadokastur]

Make it rain something strange but fitting like oil. Whatever did this could be trying to keep all its lovely new collectibles safe from rust. The sun could have a curiously malevolent personality and speak and antagonize the main character with things like "where are you going, little fleshling?" or just repeating something eerie like a strange childrens song or a phrase that seems to have some allusitory meaning.

The main character could search for something that hasn't turned to metal. Maybe he's worried about the ocean changing.

[Tobias]

as the only person whose said anything...thank you.

I like what you've got going there. I did want the black sun to antagonize him a bit. I've gotta figure out how to let that get to him.

Also added another part...when i get a chance and im on my other computer, i'll post up the first edited copy (the version that i submitted to school.)

[shadokastur]

You can do the "am I awake or am I dreaming" thing. Having him relive the scene by waking up over and over again. The sun could give him a piece of information each time he awakes before the incident happens. You know, like he wakes up in different times: one 2 days before, one a week before, one a few minutes before but across town somewhere he doesn't recognize.

The sun could just make ominous sounds or it could communicate with sounds like humpback whales. Using different pitches to represent emotions.

Oooo! Maybe all the statues look like him or actually ARE him. All of them. Every last one. Maybe he goes to sleep and when he wakes up the statues have moved like this new world can only move when his mind is not imposing his idea of reality on it.

Maybe he actually has been affected by the black sun's rays and his skin is slowly turning metallic and he has a limited time to do whatever needs to be done.


AAAAHHH my head's getting awesome!

[Tobias]