Sperrit's Therapy - I'll Always be there for ya!

[Ultrawolf]

ok ive got this problem. see i asked out this really nice girl, and she told me shes not allowed to date. BUT she still wants to be friends FOR NOW. see im not sure if she likes me or not, but she did kinda leave me hanging with the for now thing. and shes really nice and she said i was cool and stuff too. so i told her that i would wait until she could date, and then i would ask her again. BTW we're both 16 and her dad's really strict. whats your take on the whole thing?

[Sperrit]

Well... That's a very interesting situation, UltraBuddy. There are basically two takes on what's going on, neither of them being bad, as far as I can see.
1. She doesn't really like you in that way, but still wants to be friends and wants to make an effort at being friends. I mean, look at it this way: If she really is allowed to date, but just doesn't want to date you, then you can see that she's making an effort to keep the friendship going because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Considering what you said about her father, and the kind of person she is, this is the least likely option.
2. She does like you like that, or thinks that you'd be a fun date, or that something might happen between you two, but she really can't date. This seems most likely, given the information about what she's like and what her father is like. However, as much as that is great news, it's also the more difficult one to follow through on. Depending on when she recieves permission to date it could take a long time for you two to get together, and that could make things hard for both of you.
This is what I suggest: Try spending more time with her, talking with her more, and hanging out together more, be it with a group or just the two of you. This can't hurt no matter what's going on because if 1 is true then this could get her to like you and if 2 is true then you guys get the bonus of being together and keeping your relationship strong for when she's allowed to date. I guess the main point that I'm trying to make here is that love is a very precious and special thing, and that its something to be cherished and valued. If you like this girl let her know it. You can't lose anything from that because even if the worst happens you know that you gave it your best shot, and that's what really matters.
Anyway, I know that was kind of a complicated answer, considering the question and subject, but stuff like this is always complicated. That's what makes it interesting.

Good luck!

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[Ultrawolf]

woo you truly are the master sperrit, thanks. an yea it is a bit complicated but thats Ok by me, cuz i really like her and id wait for even a chance :moo:

[Sperrit]

If that's the way you feel then you're off to a great start, man. She'd be nuts not to like you. Keep me posted on what's going on! I'd love to hear it if you guys got together.

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[Selrahc the Evil]

ok sperrit I have a challenging question for you.

Right now because of my surgery it really hurts to laugh. My problem is that I live in a humor filled family and I also love to laugh ( more so if laughing at my sister). My question for you is how can I live in such a humor filled world and not laugh with out trying to isolate myself by avioding the humor. Because when things are funny I just can't help but laugh.

[Sperrit]

Hmm... That IS a complicated question... I'm reminded of when I had appendixitis. I was sitting in the hostipal bed, waiting for surgery, and there was a TV and VRC in my room, and my Dad brought in a video of old school Robin Williams stand-up. Dang. I hurt so much from laughing. I thought I'd die. However, I did not regrett the laughing even though it hurt. Laughter is a great thing, and it is always much enjoyable.
Anyway, to be more direct to your question... laughter is usually an involuntary reaction so there really isn't much I can say that will STOP you from laughing. I mean, you could try going all Zen and focus on remaining calm and envision a peaceful meadow or something like that, but I find that that usually doesn't work with trying to quell laughter. However, you can try that, and other than that I'd say just enjoy the laughter as much as you can, because, heck, if you can't help laughing, you might as well enjoy it.
Glad to know your okay after the huge-@$$ surgery. Feel better soon, k buddy?

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[Selrahc the Evil]

thanks sperrit you are always a big help.

[Sperrit]

You're welcome, Chuck. Man, I miss you all. IM me if you need help. That goes for anyone.

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Sperrit, the Not-Quite-Back

[Shandriz]

All right ^_^ I figured I'd try out this advice thing, and since this one was on top, and Sperrit here seems to be very good at giving advice..ehn, it's worth a try, no?

A little background- My best friend is a guy. For the purposes of this board, we'll call him James, although that's not his real name. Anyhow, James and I have been very close since just about the day we met. We dated for about a month around three years ago, and then I broke up with him because of various reasons. Still, it only took a short while for us to both get over that, and now we're just as close as ever (despite college getting in the way)

Now, I also have several very close female friends. One of whom we'll call Emily. Again, not her real name, but that's not terribly important. The important part is that Emily...is not the committment sort. She's the sort who gets a boyfriend because she feels she ought to have something to entertain her. She's mildly violent, has a tendency to treat her boyfriends and other people like property, but she's decent enough once you get past all of that.

Problem being that she's dated James off-and-on for the past three years or so-- slightly after I broke up with him.

Now, the -real- problem, I suppose, could be me. I love Emily dearly, she's a great friend to me, however, I'm severely overprotective when it comes to James. I worry that she'll hurt him, and that if she does, I might have to stop being friends with her, because I couldn't stand for it. The worst part being that Emily makes it pretty damn obvious the only reason she's dating him again is because she was bored and felt the need to date someone...and obviously she wasn't interested in any of the guys at her college, so she fell back on him.

What should I do?

[Selrahc the Evil]

Hey Sperrit glad to see your almost back.
I really don't have any questions for you but I wanted you to know that if you have any questions at all you can ask me in my forum here on PO.