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Kenji Senior Otaku

Joined: 28 Sep 2003 |
Posted: Wed Oct 22, 2003 8:27 pm Post subject: Read at your own risk |
Listen, first off I want to say im sorry for wasting your time with this post.
I dont know what to say..I guess its my normal stress,and I dont want to sound all emo or pathetic. I dont want to throw a pity party,but I dont know if I am. Ive just been down. So insecure. Ive just been wondering if my life is really worth living. I dont think ive really even made an impact on anyone's life. Im sitting here crying on my keyboard as I type this, thinking if I have really anything to say. Id like to say Ive made friends here at PO, and I think I have..but I just dont know. I dont know if anyone in the world,except maybe my immediate family, would care if I wasnt here tommorow. I dont even think anyone would post something like "hey, where did that one guy go?" if i just stopped posting all of a sudden. I have so much passion for things I cant control. I have so much creativity, but no way of releasing it. I cant draw, I can write stories but dont enjoy it. I write lyrics, but havent gotten my band together. I have so much passion and so many feelings for this girl I know..and she says she has the feelings for me too..but im so fucking insecure I need her to be serious with me all the time,which im sure just annoys her. I dont want to be a burden anymore. Sorry to anyone if Ive ever been a dick. Sorry if Ive wasted anyones time.I dont even know what to say..I just needed to vent. I wish I could become a bigger part of something.
God I'm a fucked up little boy. |
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 | Kenji
Wins 1 - Losses 1
Level 2
HP: 2130
Str: 630
End: 750
Acc: 500
Agi: 720
Verdan, Enchanted Bo Staff(165-365)
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Last edited by Kenji on Wed Oct 22, 2003 8:30 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Sakura Saku-chan

Gender:  Joined: 22 Sep 2002 |
Posted: Wed Oct 22, 2003 8:29 pm Post subject: |
Oo quiet!! We love you! You are an awesome guy so shuush! You've never been a dick or anything..but I really hope you feel better soon :-/ -glomps- Cuz a sad Kenji equals a sad Sakky...  |
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Yes, I have a Mew. |
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Wins 10 - Losses 11 Level 5 |
EXP: 1580 HP: 1575
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STR: 825 END: 375 ACC: 600 AGI: 1100
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Sakura Blade (Sword) (260 - 360) |
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Tobias *explodes*

Age: 38 Gender:  Joined: 17 Jan 2003 |
Posted: Wed Oct 22, 2003 9:25 pm Post subject: |
Dude...everyone has a point in life. Everyone loves one another. The one thing that someone should never do to themselves is believe to themselves that they are useless in life, or have no meaning. Everyone has meaning, every life special in its own way. I may sound somewhat like Vash the Stampede right now, but thats because im very VERY much like him. I have the same ideals. No one deserves to take the life of another, even him or herself, because each life is unique, and has something to offer to the world.
So dude, ur special to all of us, and ur sadness makes us sad, cause we have that kind of connection to the rest of our members.
I'll stop talkin my head off...im sure a million people have talked to you about what im saying right now. What im gonna say is that if you need someone to talk to, you got me to talk to...i'll listen and talk back if ya want to
THat is all  |
_________________ I am not afraid to die today
Nor afraid of what Death will bring.
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Wins 112 - Losses 110 Level 16 |
EXP: 535 HP: 3000
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STR: 1000 END: 1000 ACC: 1000 AGI: 1000
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Eden (Sword) (475 - 475) |
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Minosheep Doesn't get a custom rank.

Age: 36 Gender:  Joined: 27 Oct 2002 |
Posted: Wed Oct 22, 2003 9:29 pm Post subject: |
...I've yet to understand this phenomenon. People who just suddenly decide they're the scum of the earth and whose lives aren't worth living. No matter what anyone says. No matter that I'm saying this now, that I think you are a creative person, even from what little I've seen. I know what I do here has no impact on the world outside. If I stopped posting, it would get maybe a single comment. I'm not even an influential member here. But I don't hate myself. I'm not depressed. I realize that what matters is me. I say what I think, do as I'd like(online, at least) and don't really give a crap about what others think of me or my opinions. You want to pity yourself, there's nothing I, or anyone, can do about that. I just don't see why.
No offense meant. I know I talk about me a lot.
PS: Sak? Does a sad 'Monic make a sad Makky?  |
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Wins 44 - Losses 45 Level 10 |
EXP: 8909 HP: 1835
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STR: 325 END: 755 ACC: 920 AGI: 1400
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FireGuardian and Bloodreign (Blades) (365 - 405) |
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Sakura Saku-chan

Gender:  Joined: 22 Sep 2002 |
Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2003 7:14 am Post subject: |
Demonic wrote: |
PS: Sak? Does a sad 'Monic make a sad Makky?  |
Of course, meh bestest budday!
-glomps Demonic..then pushes him away and glomps Kenji- I hope ya feel better... |
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Yes, I have a Mew. |
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Wins 10 - Losses 11 Level 5 |
EXP: 1580 HP: 1575
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STR: 825 END: 375 ACC: 600 AGI: 1100
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Sakura Blade (Sword) (260 - 360) |
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Sciler Mistress

Age: 45 Gender:  Joined: 15 Sep 2002 |
Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2003 1:51 am Post subject: |
Hush now with that talk Kenji! ~hugs~ Of course we care, I may not always have time to talk much and for that I appologise, a lot is going on with me right now, but definitely know that doesnt mean I care any less. We definitely would miss you were something to happen to you, same as I know your family and friends would. Never doubt that. ~huge hugs~
on a side note- I cant believe Sak just said dick  |
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WoW - Gilneas server
A - Lixx (80) | Kahlanrahl (71) | Sci (74) | Lixxi (71) | Lixxia (51)
H - Sciler (35) | Lixxie (8 )
Is a cat durid for eat sum1's hed & stuf? OMG YES LOL! |
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Wins 1 - Losses 0 Level 3 |
EXP: 0 HP: 2125
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STR: 775 END: 675 ACC: 500 AGI: 750
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Cat-o-Nine-Tails (Sword) (215 - 345) |
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GAAZ MOD Black Sheep Commander

Gender:  Joined: 14 Oct 2002 |
Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2003 1:45 pm Post subject: |
On the side of the side note- She's all growed up and savin China...*sniffle*
And don't worry Kenji, if I've learned anything from TV, and TV/Movies it's that in the end you'll make it...And then yer child won't unless you let him copy the tape and give it to your father. |
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I think it's gigawatt when one and gigawatt's when two.
But when there is 1.21 then it's jiggawatts.
Join me pirate crew!
Last edited by GAAZ on Tue Oct 28, 2003 4:32 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Wins 76 - Losses 41 Level 13 |
EXP: 386 HP: 2685
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STR: 895 END: 895 ACC: 895 AGI: 1015
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Fillibuster the Third (Sword) (420 - 440) |
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Sasuke Junior Otaku

Gender:  Joined: 16 Oct 2003 |
Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2003 2:16 pm Post subject: |
Dude, Iknow JUST how you feel, dunno know if some ppl from psotakus remember but I posted similiar topic and felt like shyt. Women man, I dont get em, Ano kurazy ONNA! |
_________________ Rice, good to eat.........not to race
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Minosheep Doesn't get a custom rank.

Age: 36 Gender:  Joined: 27 Oct 2002 |
Posted: Sat Nov 01, 2003 12:08 am Post subject: |
I realized that my post was rude.
Sorry, Kenji, but yeah. It just annoys me to see depressed people. |
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Wins 44 - Losses 45 Level 10 |
EXP: 8909 HP: 1835
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STR: 325 END: 755 ACC: 920 AGI: 1400
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FireGuardian and Bloodreign (Blades) (365 - 405) |
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Akira Ambers biotch

Age: 35 Gender:  Joined: 27 Oct 2002 |
Posted: Sun Nov 09, 2003 12:08 am Post subject: |
dude i used to feel like that...but look, im going to let this out in the open...its the past just so you all know (im not a pshyco)
i used to want to kill myself because i thought nobody loved me and that i had no point on this planet...then i met alot of awesome people...and these people would keep telling me, nothing...absolutely nothing...is worth killing yourself over...
i tried to kill myself once...and my freind stopped me from doing it...nothing is worth death man...even if the poorest unoticed homeless guy on earth was to die...nothing can equal death...if anybody were to die...no matter how much money you put into it...it wont bring them back...which means life itself is worth more than all the money on this planet...i hope you feel better man...
-Akira |
_________________ In a world of nothing, Fear does not exist.
When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Do you see yourself as who you are at that moment in time...or as who you want yourself to be? |
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Wins 0 - Losses 0 Level 1 |
EXP: 0 HP: 0
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STR: 0 END: 0 ACC: 0 AGI: 0
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(0 - 0) |
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