The Kilted Wench

[Aindriahhn]

*A distant spot appears on the horizon, a few hills away, and barely visible against the bright light of the rising sun just behind it. As it approaches, the beautiful and heart wrenching sound of pipe music becomes faintly audible. The music is mixed, filled with joy and solemnity, touched briefly with fresh and long passed sorrow. As time passes, the smell of a donkey, and the gentle creak of wood and wheels can be heard, and the source of the pipes becomes obvious, a great bearded ginger with a few obvious braids, some well worn travel clothing, the tattered remains of some armour, and a great bloody rune-carved claymore on his back. His face is bright red from the combined effort of playing the pipes, and guiding a donkey pulling a cart, and he's more than a little road-worn, but it's Aindriahhn, as prophesied, approaching the Kilted Wench. His cart is stacked with all manner of goods, including a still, several chests, a large carnivorous plant, and several wrapped packages.*
*The playing stops, and he looks over the building, a smile flashing across his face as fond memories rush to the surface. He pats the donkey, turning to it*
"Well, Adalbrandr," he mutters to the creature, "This is home, I'll get you stabled and set and we'll get the place open in two shakes."
*He stables the donkey, brushing it down, giving it a blanket and feed before pulling the cart into his back rooms. Reaching for the large clay pot that holds his edible plant he frowns at it*
"We're home, no funny business and I'll get you right to your basement.*
*Carries the plant down to the basement and does a quick check of his bar.*
"Well, a bit low, but surprisingly unlooted, and surprisingly clean."
*He gives the place a quick scrub down, and unpacks one of the chests into the bar, restocking it with all manner of wonderful beverages, before taking a large canvas sign, jumping to the third story ledge of the building and hanging the large notice in front of the place.*


'GRAND BLOODY REOPENING - YOU BEAUTIFUL MINIOPIANS - COME HAVE A BREW'

*Grinning again, he turns back into his bar, pours himself a pint of Aindriahhn's Finest, sits on the stool behind the bar, and pulls out a copy of the collected works of Robbie Burns, reading while he waits for customers.*

*Waits, gets a bit bored, and sets up a small target across the room, which he half-heartedly chucks daggers at, using the wind to push them away from anything valuable or expensive.*

[Shinigami Banchou]

BOOM!

Aindriahhn snaps awake lifting his head up from his drool stained Robbie Burns. Across from him sits a hooded stranger.
"Not good for a barman to be asleep on the job, tho at this hour and being this busy I don't blame you!"
Letting out a booming chuckle he sets his bag on the floor and has a seat on the barstool. Reaching into his cloak he procures a bag of gold pokus, sitting it on the bar top with a jingling thud.
"Two shot glasses and a bottle of your strongest spirit."
"Its been a long road here and i could use a stout drink... and food if you serve any. Your the first person i have seen in days. I was begining to believe i would be sleeping outdoors again. It has been weeks since i have eaten a real meal and slept in a real bed. Yours is the only tavern i have come across. Its as if the rest of the land just, vanished."

[Aindriahhn]

*Aindriahhn steps out of the basement, nodding to the customer, he opens a small secret panel and flips a switch, causing the duplicate of himself to disappear into thin air. Grinning, he grabs a couple of very large shot glasses and sets them down on the bar.*

"Bancho, is it? It's been a while."

*He bangs his fist down on the bar and twists the top of one of his beer taps in a bunch of seemingly random directions. As a small, otherwise empty potion of the bar begins to slide open he fetches two pairs of thick lever, elbow length gloves and a long pair of metal tongs. He hands a pair of leather gloves to the Shinigami and slides his own on, reaching into the secret compartment a pulling something, which leads to a loud click, and huge amounts of steam and strangely cold smoke billow out of the hole, before getting sucked away by hidden fans.*

"The most powerful drink I make is called the "Apocalyptic Genesis" he says, as several largish bottles and two fairly tiny ones raise up out of the hidden compartment on separate pedestals.*

*Several bottles stand set in their holders, the first two are quite small, one is made of finely cut crystal and is filled with some manner of swirling red liquid that flashes about the bottle in an incredibly agitated manner, a few faint strands of steam escaping around it's large diamond encrusted stopped. Aindriahhn points to it*

"This has a name, but I can't pronounce it, I learned about it from a tribe of half fire elementals I met in the desert. Took me a long time to collect the ingredients to make it, and it's incredibly unstable in large quantities, it's actually a large part of the reason that the last bar burnt down so quickly. It's strangely smooth, but if most people drink it straight it'll be the last thing they do, and all they'll leave behind is feet ending in charred stumps."

*He points to the next small container, a small, perfectly round transparent bottle reinforced with iron bands running from base to top, and covered in silver runes. The drink inside is so black and dark it seems to drink in the light*

"I traded Diablo my famous soup recipe for a steady supply of this, the bottle keeps refilling itself, it's best you don't ask too many questions."

*The next bottle is long and thin, made completely out of clay and leather, with a few tiny bone and stone decorations hanging from leather thongs tied around the wide mouth and connected to the bone and leather stopper. Ice and frost cling to the sides.*

"That one,* he says, gesturing at the bottle, "you better not touch if you want to keep your fingers, it's Northlander mead brewed by frost giants, I use two drops a year to refrigerate everything in this building, and cool the Inn during the summer. It's very sweet, almost fruity."

*The bottle after that is carved from a single large emerald, intricately carved, wrapped in vines, and stopped with what appears to be a small tree growing out of the mouth.*

"Druidic sweetwine, best thing in the world for making plants grow. This is the elven blend, there's only about fifty bottles left from the year this was made, and I've got just over half of then."

*He gestures to the fifth bottle, a long twisted piece of glass that's fat and bulbous at the bottom and incredibly thin at the top, it's stopped with a small piece of silver with a valve on it. The bottle is a sand colored, but appears to be empty*

"That's brewed by Jinn in their great city in the middle of the blasted lands, the desert just across the ocean. Think of it as alcoholic wind. It's warm and dry, makes you thirsty."

*The sixth bottle is a large prism, and is glowing to intensely to see clearly.*

"Traded for this, not sure it's origin, other than what you might guess from a drink made of pure light that dances lightly on the tongue and fills your ears with unimaginable singing."

*The seventh bottle is shaped like some manner of sea dragon, it's head raised up and mouth closed, it's carved out of whale bone, and stained lightly green, like algae.*

"Mere drink, it's heavier than seawater, a bit salty, very potent. It's name apparently translates as 'Bittersweet poison', but it's perfectly safe."

*The last bottle is fairly standard, a long, slightly rounded glass rectangle with a big mouth stopped with a cork*

"I make that, it's my secret ingredient."

*Aindriahhn reaches beneath the bar, recovering two small glass containers, a fist size uncut diamond on a plate, a thick cast iron pot, and a small gold samovar covered in runes.*

"Now, I don't usually make this, but it's been a while since I've had a customer. Keep your head back."

*Aindriahhn grabs the tongs, carefully opening the crystal bottle filled with red liquid and pouring just a drop into the cast iron pot before replacing the bottle, the tongs glowing bright red with heat as he does so. Next he picks up the clay and leather bottle, the tongs immediately cooling, almost caked with ice. He carefully pulls the bone stopper, suddenly plunging the room into an incredible chill and he pours about a shot worth into the pot and replaces the bottle. The liquid inside settles, turning into a pale, rich red slush.*

*Next he grabs the diamond and plate, pouring a tiny bit of the dark black liquid onto it, which seems to seep into the diamond, filling it with a few cloudy black strands. Grabbing a pair of tinted goggles from beneath the bar, he slides them on, grabbing the prism and letting a small, brilliantly multicolored drop fall on the diamond, which instantly reshaped it into a perfect prism, tinted slightly black. Grabbing the diamond, he removes the tap on the bottom of the samovar and sets the diamond inside the tap, and slides it back into place.*

*Next, he grabs the whalebone bottle and opens it's mouth a pours some into the one of the glasses, filling it about a third of the way with a greenish-blue clear liquid the constantly splashes and churns in the cup. Next, he grabs the long, thing bottle, sliding the top just beneath the surface of the clear liquid and opening it for just a second. The green-blue liquid begins to bubble and churn. AIndriahhn picks up the large emerald, removing the small tree and pouring the thick, rich green liquid into the bottle with the other two spirits, until it's about two thirds full. Aindriahhn sets a small seed from his sporran in the lid of the bottle, which quickly grows into a small tree, the tree from the bottle he sets inside the samovar. Then he picks up the two glasses, pouring the liquid from one to the other seven times, before dropping the liquid, glass and all, in with the other things in the samovar. He then carefully pours the contents of the iron pot in with the rest of the stuff, which ignites the tree, and dissolves the glass. He replaces the top of the samovar, and fills the shot glasses a quarter full with his secret ingredient, a pale golden drink of some sort, waits about five minutes, and fills both shot glasses from the samovar, letting the pale silver liquid from within blend with the golden in the glass until it turns perfectly clear. He replaces all the bottles and equipment, seals everything away and hands one of the glasses to the Shinigami, and raises his own.*

"Time, the universe, and the balance of all things." he shouts with his glass above his head before draining it in a smooth motion*

*Suddenly, his skin smooths, wrinkles disappearing, scars fading slightly. His whole body glows faintly. He takes off the gloves and crushes the glass to a fine powder in his right hand, the cuts it leaves immediately healing. His hair and beard grows five inches, greys disappearing, his muscles visibly firm, and his eyes sparkle as he takes a seat behind the bar, watching the Shinigami.*

[Shinigami Banchou]

*throws shot back*
*the air around the hooded man begins to shift and ripple subtly until the air, like a cloudy pool of water, suddenly clears away the visage of banality surrounding the man. His skin seems flushed with an opalescent sheen, his eyes a burning cascade of evershifting colors. He grins a phosphorescent cheshire grin. Slamming the shot glass on the table the air around the man slams the vision closed with it. You wonder for a brief moment if you even saw anything to begin with*

"Now that is a drink my kilted friend, that, is, a, drink."

[Aindriahhn]

*As Shinigami slams the shotglass onto the table it disintegrates into dust, which quickly fades away to nothing. Aindriahhn produces a bar rag from seemingly nowhere and wipes down the bar, he then throws the rag into the fireplace, where it burns away quickly into nothing, producing a few random sparks.*

"Yeah, like most of that calibre, though, it's dangerous to even know about. So, I suggest silence and discretion. Care for something with a bit of a kick?" he asks,, raising his right eyebrow as he reaches above the bar, producing two large clay steins.* "Nothing so interesting as your last drink."

[Diablo]

"But can it revive the dead?"

*Spoke the dark entity that arrived some months ago.*

"I've arrived here many months ago, driven by fragmented visions and a hint of a legend. All of which pointed me here"

*The dark figured stepped forward, his movements slow and uneasy. His dingy rank cloak seemed to swallow the "mans" body. His hood hung low, shadowing the face. The hilt of the blade the "man" carried seemed antiqued, as if it hadn't been used in several years.*

*As he steps closer still, the new lighting reveals his cloak to be deteriorating, almost decomposing and his blade fared no better. The hilt had not leather wrappings for comfort, it was now just bare metal: not metal.. crystal. The sheath was filled with holes and fungus grew around it. Glimpses of the actual blade could be seen as the light reflected off of it. It was cracked, and broken. It appeared that is the "man" were to attempt to use his weapon it would simply just fall apart into multiple pieces.*

*The foul stench of rotting flesh overtakes the succulent smells of alcohol and as the figure gets closer to earshot, the sound of bones rubbing become blatenly clear. Then he stopped, just out of arms reach from the two.*

*the temperature in the bar begins to rise.*

[Aindriahhn]

"Revive the dead?" *Aindriahhn rubs his beard, pondering*
"I've heard of drinks that revive the dead, you know that well enough, Diablo."
*He sighs, recovering a third stein from beneath the bar, filling each with some manner of creamy black stout that reeks just a little of a forest fire.*
"But, Diablo, friend, you know the sort of half-life those drinks and potions offer isn't much different from death."
*Hands out the drinks, taking a large swig of his.*