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Excel Zero Suna-Chan's Brother/Mod of Randomness

Gender:  Joined: 22 Oct 2003 |
Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 4:47 am Post subject: This is me pouring out... |
This is by know means an attack towards anyone as little of this has to do with the folks here. But I need to release. I am so tired of watching by blood pressure rise, ulcers start, and other physiological failures take place. I am a stressed person and have recently discovered through the help of a friend that a big part of this is my problem. So here is my pledge to myself.
I am going to try to not let my pressures reach others.
I am going to try to live deliberately like I used to.
I am going to try to realize that what people say about me usually doesn't matter.
I am going to try to not justify myself anymore and apologize for hings I don' need to apologize for.
I am going to thank those who have helped me stay afloat.
So to those who know what I am getting at, you know who you are...Thanks
Why do I write this here? To reveal more about myself. I like when people feel they can be personal and share with me. It used to be that way and I want it back. I am not posting this as any sort of quest or o say I am any better than anyone else because nobody on this Earth is better than others. I want to be approachable liked I used to be so from here on out I will do what I can to make myself that way again.
Also I post this because I wanted to apologize for those moments I did erupt on someone unreasonably. Those people already know who they are since I have apologized to them already so I won't bring them into it. They already recieved their personal apologies...time for me to soul search...thanks for tuning in and while it won't be a miracle, I will be different when I arise.
End of line
Excel |
_________________ "You know? When they talk about the good life, I bet this is what they mean. Private Jet, music contract, and COASTERS! - Melody
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Therin Gloompf. Iggle!

Gender:  Joined: 24 Sep 2002 |
Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 5:03 am Post subject: |
I am actually contemplating a strikingly similar quest myself.
Some time ago, I was known, famous even, for my patience. I could sit through an hour-long rant, and provide calm, heartfelt advice, and I didn't get bent out of shape when that advice was rejected, or ignored. Instead, I just kept on trying. Kept plugging away until finally, like a jigsaw piece falling into place, it worked. Someone's life just got better.
Over the course of the last year or so, I have lost that. I have become judgemental and stubborn, opinionated and narrow-sighted. I have lost my tolerance for people who use fear as an excuse for inaction, whether they know it or not. I have lost my tolerance for people in general. Somewhere along the line, I have acquired the rock-hard belief that I am always right. When I render a verdict, by God that verdict is to be obeyed, or so help me you'll feel the consequenses. I'm smart as hell, and everyone should just acknowledge that.
This is not something that I am proud of. The last time someone came to me stressed out about life, I turned around and bit their head off, and I realized that I have become the thing I despise the most.
I want to change. I want my patience back. I want my goodness back. So badly it hurts. I wish I knew how to get it. |
_________________ http://images.ucomics.com/comics/ga/2005/ga051225.gif
http://kevan.org/johari?name=Therin |
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Wins 45 - Losses 36 Level 10 |
EXP: 6251 HP: 2600
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STR: 950 END: 825 ACC: 825 AGI: 800
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Gray Matter (Gun) (240 - 530) |
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Nacht Queen of Darkness

Gender:  Joined: 25 Dec 2002 |
Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 5:04 am Post subject: |
i believe in the old saying " pick your battles"
when you feel as though you have been wronged, ask yourself:
what would it accomplish to exert my pride in this matter? would the person learn anything from it, and would anything actually change for the better if i did this?
how important is my pride? is this a battle best left unfought? would it create more negative energy or more positive energy to continue this arguement?
sometimes it is a good thing to have an arguement with someone. differences DO become resolved this way quite often.
just have strength and have confidence. Know who you are and dont allow your judgement to be swayed for the worse b/c of someone else's issues with their own ego.
you should seldom have to justify yourself to a true friend. real love is unconditional |
_________________ not you Demonic Go Away  
mmmmm...squall www.myspace.com/nachtie

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Wins 6 - Losses 12 Level 4 |
EXP: 2656 HP: 2300
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STR: 800 END: 750 ACC: 625 AGI: 625
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Excel Zero Suna-Chan's Brother/Mod of Randomness

Gender:  Joined: 22 Oct 2003 |
Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 5:09 am Post subject: |
That's my Nachtie...always setting me straight and showing me the love...
Therin: I dunno how we fix this...but we search until we do but please know I didn't post this to make others feel bad.
End of line
Excel |
_________________ "You know? When they talk about the good life, I bet this is what they mean. Private Jet, music contract, and COASTERS! - Melody
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Wins 47 - Losses 52 Level 11 |
EXP: 10688 HP: 2695
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STR: 895 END: 900 ACC: 880 AGI: 825
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Excel Axe of Doom (Axe) (400 - 400) |
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Reverend I kin

Age: 41 Gender:  Joined: 21 Oct 2002 |
Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 8:36 am Post subject: |
Most often I've been known as the laid back and patient one. I pride myself on being able to roll with the punches, and be very slow to anger. Most often, this means that people think you will never fight them on a topic.
But that is the wrong idea.
It is more about knowing when to fight. Fighting all the time just wears you down and causes nothing but hardship. It is hard to figure out when you can fight, and often the best gauge is when you simply cannot ignore how you feel anymore.
I know how hard it can be to resist the urge to fight with someone, but it really is for your betterment.
And as a side benefit, when you choose to fight with people over a topic, if they've never experienced fighting with you, then they are taken completely by suprise |
_________________ Pot, Burden of Dilligence, One of the Pans of the aPOcalypse
PONY's Preacher Man
Token Social Scientist
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Wins 90 - Losses 76 Level 13 |
EXP: 5863 HP: 2940
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Ruler, the Fist of Mod (Mace) (400 - 460) |
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Excel Zero Suna-Chan's Brother/Mod of Randomness

Gender:  Joined: 22 Oct 2003 |
Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 3:56 pm Post subject: |
Reverend wrote: |
It is more about knowing when to fight. Fighting all the time just wears you down and causes nothing but hardship. It is hard to figure out when you can fight, and often the best gauge is when you simply cannot ignore how you feel anymore.
I know how hard it can be to resist the urge to fight with someone, but it really is for your betterment.
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This, Excel, is learning the hard way. Nobody to blame but me, but I thought about this, and whether it be the hard way or not, I'm glad I learned it.
I should also mention that I didn't post this to insinuate anyone else needs to do what I am doing. Not trying to burn bridges, just better myself.
End of line
Excel |
_________________ "You know? When they talk about the good life, I bet this is what they mean. Private Jet, music contract, and COASTERS! - Melody
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Wins 47 - Losses 52 Level 11 |
EXP: 10688 HP: 2695
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STR: 895 END: 900 ACC: 880 AGI: 825
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Excel Axe of Doom (Axe) (400 - 400) |
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underpants awesome sauce!

Age: 41 Gender:  Joined: 07 Jul 2004 |
Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 10:21 pm Post subject: |
Back in high school and some part of college my life was full of drama and I hated it! I hated drama and everything that it entails. I was sick of being in the drama pool, sometimes I felt as though I was drowning in it...
That's when I decided to cut out all of the people in my life that caused the drama. The funny thing is, I have a lot less girlfriends because of it..hahaha. Oh well. Honestly my take on it is, if you are causing more stress in my life and if you are the one placing crazy drama into it I don't need you in my life.
Honestly, my life has been so much better since I have made those changes. I continue to live that way now as well, and I believe that I live a happier more peaceful and relaxing life because of it. Yeah I may hit bumps of drama in the road of life, but who doesn't. At least I'm living with potholes any more.  |
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