Valentine Day's Article

[Nagemi]

Two weeks ago I was assigned to write an opinion piece on Valentine's Day for Oglethorpe's student newspaper. This is what I came up with before the final edit for space in the layout.

(Still not syre what my editor used as a headline)

When I was in elementary school, Valentine’s Day usually consisted of a universal procedure:
1.Cut slit in shoebox; decorate.
2.Pester parents for favorite cartoon character valentines from grocery store.
3.Pick out valentines for best friends.
4.Sign leftover cards and throw them in envelopes for the kids you didn’t like.
5.Distribute accordingly.
6.Dump box’s contents on desk; sort out the largest valentines most likely to have candy in them.
7.Consume candy.
8.Inattentively open the other ones, making note of the recycled ones from the year before. Sort out favorite cartoon characters.
9.Comment on your friends’ valentines even though they can’t remember which one they gave you in the first place.

After elementary school, I found that the procedure changed quite significantly. No longer did anyone pour over the boxes of cheap cartoon-adorned cardboard. Shoeboxes were spared from construction paper and glitter, and were actually used to hold SHOES (heaven forbid!). No longer did I receive a blissful sugar high from free lifesavers, red hots, Hershey bars, and candy hearts with irritatingly cute phrases that would now be much akin to the language used by a thirteen year-old girl talking to her internet boyfriend over Instant Message. No, my friends, I’m afraid that once one reaches the plague ridden stage of puberty, one is forcibly assigned a new procedure based off of whether you’re A. dating someone or have an admirer, or B. single.

While I would explain each state in meticulous detail and correct order, I’m afraid that every time February the 14th rolls around, I’ve never actually been in the preceding state. So here’s a brief overview of what’s possibly involved in that procedure (based off of hearsay and observation):
1.Free candy and chocolate
2.Free stuff
3.Free flowers
4.The unusual absorption of the other’s attention for an entire day
5.The warm fuzzy feeling
6.Parading your status as a couple in front of others
7.Watching Romeo and Juliet…again…
8.Romantically “making the beast with two backs”

Of course usually the previous procedure qualifies towards the female persuasion, so I’ll go ahead and mention a certain con of the procedure in that most of these things cost a significant amount of money- therefore putting a damper on those who fall into the role of carrying out the procedure (in most cases, the male portion of the species)…I’m making Valentine’s Day sound like ethnographical analysis, aren’t I? However, I digress.

Now I will discuss the second possible procedure given in honor of this occasion, one, I can wholly say, that I can claim to be an expert of by obligation. That’s right, fellow brethren who have had their Valentines’ privileges cut off at the tender age of ten, I am talking about being fully “aware” on the day which is also known as “Singles’ Awareness Day”. Individuals in this category by default don’t get to experience all the things associated with what companies such as Hallmark call one of the best holidays in the year (but then again, if there was a market for it in the US, Guy Fawkes Day would be called one of the best in the year), so therefore the way one’s day would run would depend on the attitude one adopts towards the holiday. The first attitude would be that of apathy, and in that case the day obviously runs as any other all except you see more red and pink than usual.

The second would be that of hopefulness that maybe one can change status by using this day to woo the person of one’s choice. This option, can lead to two different paths depending on the other person’s response (who ever knew this holiday was this complicated?). If the other person accepts wooing, the individual can no longer be classified in the singles category; they now follow into the “taken or admired” status and are free to any of the options from that respective list. The second path is that if the wooing resulted in rejection, in which case, the usual response follows one of depression and resentment…which brings me to discuss the most popular attitude single people choose on Valentine’s Day: bitterness.

In response to being single on this certain date, a good portion of people look to it with dread, hatred, and as my friend Cliff Moore would put it, “prefer Al Capone’s version of Valentine’s Day”. Sure, I myself have wanted to scrape my eyes out with splintered toothpick soaked in 6 mol hydrochloric acid rather than have to watch smug couples revel in their smug coupledom. I have also watched all forms of candy and material goods pass tauntingly in front of my eyes like a starving Ethiopian child being shown pictures of food that he would never eat. Bitter can be fun as well, though. You can use the money you would’ve spent on a significant other to buy more important things for yourself (like PC games) and wave them in front of your dating friends, taunting them because they can’t afford them after the onslaught of gift spending. You can also schedule singles only events (like paintball or Six Flags), and brag about them to your taken friends because they can’t get out of the sixth time they’ve watched the community theatre’s crap rendition of Romeo and Juliet.

As far as my own opinion goes on Valentine’s Day, I’ll have to say that now I am almost uncertain. As I said, I’ve never had a boyfriend this time of year (each relationship conveniently ends at least a month beforehand). However this year will be the first year that I cannot claim the single status, but on the other hand, my significant other lives in a place where Delta would charge me $350 to fly to. Am I spending half my bank account on frilly, useless crap? No. If Valentine’s Day is supposed to remind us about how much we care for one another or how much a significant other means to us, then screw that! I don’t need a candy boxes, flowers, stuffed animals, or a procedure on a marketed holiday to remember that idea. My reward is knowing the simple truth that not only do I have people who care about me every day of the year, but also knowing that there is someone who I find mutual happiness with, and that itself is worth celebrating.

[Reverend]

Heh, enthnographical analysis, you sure know how to warm the cold heart of an archaeologist. Wonderful op-ed piece.

As to my own views on Valentines Day, I was one of the bitter masses for most of my life, with only one V-Day where I had a significant other. That's now come and gone, but it did leave me with a different outlook on the holiday. Valentine's Day is about love, and not just love to a significant other. Really, this day is about reminding yourself that you have other people in your life you care about.

So to all of us out there who may be single right now, don't let yourself be sucked back into the bitter cynicism of not living the "Hallmark Moment." Remember that just because you aren't romantically attached to someone you are more alone or unloved. Rather, I would say that I never realized how loved I was until I was single again.

[Legend]

The only problem I have with your article is that it takes an incredibly biased viewpoint. This is understandable given A) You haven't done the Valentine's Day thing with a boyfriend before (this'll be my second year of that, personally) and B) It'd take forever to properly cover both viewpoints.

I will mention, however, that this idea that couples like to lord over their single friends what they've got is not true in responsible, intelligent, mature relationships (as in, after you leave high school, or possibly college depending on your maturity level). I have -never- even discussed what I was doing with my boyfriend for V-day with my single friends. Nor has anyone I know ever lorded over me their status when I was single for the holiday (even in high school).

Of course, I also don't particularly like the holiday. I celebrate it primarily because my boyfriend enjoys it, but we don't really do the usual stuff. We went to dinner, but it wasn't fancy (I hate having money spent on me) and he got me chocolate that actually had meaning (with a sweet note that explained why). This year, I'm making him dinner. There are no flowers involved, and he knows he isn't expected to spend money on me at all.

It's not about the materialism for us. The holiday has turned, at least on our part, into a day where we have an excuse to spend just a little more time centered on each other than on everyone else, and to show each other (primarily through action and general thoughtfulness, not through typical romantic gestures) how much we care. It's a day of reminder-- you know, the way Thanksgiving reminds you to tell your family how much you care.

I'll be the first to admit that most people don't look at it like that. There are plenty of televised indications that spending money on expensive jewelry, candy, and flowers is the way to celebrate V-day. And I happen to know a few people who also believe this and forget the whole spirit of it.

..of course, it's funny when one remembers that it's named after a guy who died for Christianity, and not for anything love-related at all. . Poor dear, I'm sure he's turning in his grave.

Edit: As an aside-- I LOVE YOU REVVYBEAR! ^_-

[Nagemi]

You do know this article is not supposed to be completely serious...right?

Might I also highlight the last paragraph:

[Doot]

This is merely constructive criticism

From a writing perspective:

The way the article is laid out makes it tedious to read. I understand you had a lot of ideas to fit into such a small article space but this should have been more like the outline and then refined a bit more. The voice of the article is all over the place, easily able to lose a reader just because the first couple of sentences just don't GRAB the reader.

From the experience perspective:

It's easy for those with a jaded outlook to write up so much about what is wrong with the holiday when it really is just complaints about their status at such a time. By becoming bitter and disenchanted with the idea of the holiday it's easy to miss what the holiday should really mean - which you did quite nicely of tying up in the end of the article. The thing is, the topic has been done. So done that someone stuck the fork in it, and the inside of that wordy steak is nearly powder. Smarmy outlooks on a topic really only fly in writing when the topic is fresh. It would have been a cleaner piece if it came from the main perspective you know and unfortunately you have had too many run ins (it seems) with people who flaunt their coupling status in a grotesque manner so it really smears the rest of the population who is just happy enough to be with their someone.

[Tobias]

Eh, i don't really have any problems with Valentine's day anymore. This may be beacuse I had my first girlfrield only several months ago. Unfortunately, due to a problem with distance, and the good ol US of A, we are no longer together, but if anything, Rev put it into perspective: Its after you become single again that you really appreciate it.

Chica...i think that article kicked ass. I like the view on it, as to me, it doesn't seem too much like its on "Oh...valentines day is horrible because no one love me," but rather it says something like "Look at how fun it is at a young age...and now look at what it becomes for us! ITS SO COMPLICATED!"

*gives two thumbs up*

[Nagemi]

Thanks Tobias, you pretty much hit it on the head there...

...I miss choo choo train valentines with rolls of lifesavers in them!

[Silver Adept]

Perspective is a wonderful thing. Mine is skewed horribly, having been in exactly the situation of very little happening after elementary schooling. Am now a college student and have not yet experienced anything other than a singles' awareness day. I know that couples really aren't waving it in our faces, it's just that everyone's very keyed in on things like that on that particular day. It's tough, that's all. But it'll come and go again, without too much trouble or woe. If I really feel like doing something, maybe I'll buy a pound or two of bulk chocolate and just indiscriminately give it out to the people I meet that day. It may be more of a longing to be part of the coupled group that makes things aggravating to be single that day.

By the way, "making the beast with two backs" is from Othello, I believe, because what precedes it is "your daughter and the Moor".

[Nagemi]

[K-chan]

I think it was an excellent piece for the paper. Yes valentines day is a well covered topic, but really what can you do. It has to be covered, because its important t Writing for a newspaper means you have to write for everyone. I think you accomplished the aim for a newspaper piece very well. You drew out the sterotypes of everyone whether they were single or a couple at this time a year so that there was something for everyone to enjoy and smile about. It was light, playful, and I had a good time reading it.

As for the opinions of the holiday as a whole, it bummed me out once. Then I realized, hey I have friends, I have Star Wars, I am loved. Since then the V-day Star Wars Marathon has become tradition. Its about making yourself happy and celebrating the good things and people around you. Personally I think it should be done everyday, but you've heard that all before. But whether single or dating someone, there is no reason to pity yourself unless you are an absolutel alone individual and you can't think of a single person who might wish you well on this day or any day of the year. The couple mentally, or bleeding heart singles angst, at this time of year does get on my nerves because often times its the season they get to forget about everyone else who loves them.