Busy Times Continued

[Jaena]

The reason I'm putting the continuation of my previous post in here is because I am VERY likely to start swearing at random, and I know this is where the swearing is supposed to be kept. And the biggest reason I am posting this is because I really just want to try and get it said. It's the first time I've really put it altogether in one spot.

***Warning, this is about a miscarriage, just in case you dont' wanna read about it***

Last Thursday, when I went in for my prenatal appointment, they could not find the baby's heartbeat with the handheld doppler thingie. So I got taken down the short hallway for an ultrasound. Then came the news I did NOT want to hear.

There was no heartbeat.

Link and I were a bit too much in shock to be able to make a decision as to whether we would have a D and C or let things progress naturally, so they told us to call back when we made the decision or if we had any questions.

Link called them Friday afternoon to get some information on it, because I was not sure if I woudl be able to continue to allow things to go naturally. He was supposed to get a call back after they got my record, but I guess because it was the afternoon they didn't get a chance to.

Monday morning at 2am I woke up to contractions. Took me 45 minutes to recognize them as such, but at that point things were almost over anyway.

A miscarriage allowed to carry on naturally is like a mini childbirth. Instead of pain all over the belly, because my uterus wasn't that big yet, it was all in one area and fucking hurt like hell.

I spent a lot of Monday in the hospital, because I was losing a LOT of blood. The first time we went, it was around 4 in the morning, and the second time I'm not sure what time it was because I was so lightheaded I couldn't walk down the stairs and Link called an ambulance. But I know we left around 9, because I called my mom to let her know, and I was trying to make sur eI didn't call too late.

I am doing alright now physically, the bleeding has almost completely stopped, and my hormone levels are trying to go back to normal. Emotionally I'm a complete wreck. I immersed myself in WoW a lot yesterday because I felt that beating on pretend things with a large stick (my druid) was better than throwing things at real people. Like the maintenance guy who showed up yesterday to fix our garbage disposal that broke a week ago.

My mom has been extremely helpful, even if she is in Maine, and Link's mom has been extremely helpful even though she's going through her own issues right now.

Monday, while I was busy in woozy world and Link was busy trying to take care of both me and William (who did wonderfully well considering the circumstances and has hardly left my side since then), Link's youngest brother took one of the middle brother's rifles and went about 30 minutes away without warning, intent on killing himself. He and his wife just had a baby about a month ago, and so Link's mom, having dealt with this before with their father is the one stuck dealign with it because his wife "can't take care of this".

Link's mom tried making an appointment for him, all he had to do was call and confirm it (he's 19, so she can't technically make him go). And he didn't. I had asked his mom if his wife could call and confirm it, but she didn't want to drag his wife in because of the fact she's dealing with the baby. So their mom was all sorts of worried yesterday, because she knew I had been in and out of the ER a lot (I swear they'll name a room after me soon, this is 4 trips in 2 months), and her youngest son is suicidal again.



Ok, I am done for now I think. Our little one has joined his/her maker, and we're hoping that his/her uncle doesn't try to join.

[Shandriz]

You might want to put a little warning that it's about miscarriage, just in case someone gets upset from hearing about it.

I'm -really- really really sorry this happened to you. It's (from what I hear, I am fortunate to be unable to sympathize) really tough to go through, but I know the two of you can get through this together.

If you need to talk, I'm only a phone call away. ^^

[Jaena]

I put a little blurb in there now surrounded by *** hooby things.

I have a follow up appointment in a few hours, which Link is having to leave work for. And I have a major headache. The sooner this part is over the better.

[Shino]

Jaena... I'm so sorry. Krystal told me as soon as I got home for lunch.

Please... if there is ANYTHING that we can do to help you and Link... please let us know. We're here if you need us.

[Jaena]

Thank you guys. One of my buddies on WoW described it as the whoel world being turned upside down and inside out and all the puppies are gone.


I just came back from my followup appointment and after all of the issues Monday, everything is fine now. My next appointment is not until either somethign happens, we get pregnant again (waiting at least a few months), or in a year for the yearly appointment. Which makes me feel better than I thought it would, knowing that I'm not going to continue to be in and out of the hospital until I'm ready.

Now I'm eating something more solid than crackers and chicken noodle soup for the first time in a couple days and Link is going to make an appointment with the therapist for the coping portion. (sometimes it helps to have a spouse who is bipolar.... we do family sessions if we need them)

Thank you again. Goodness knows my mood could swing any moment back to misery :S

[Sciler]

Oh hun I'm so sorry to hear this If there is anything I can do, let me know. I'm just a few servers away ~HUGE HUGS~

[Shandriz]

I'm glad you're waiting a while before trying again. Healing time is good, both physically and emotionally. Still, the fact that you want to try again is definitely a good sign!

And it's good that you're feeling better too, and won't have to be in the hospital anymore and stuff. Not being able to eat -sucks-.

[Silver Adept]

Aww, Jaena, I'm sorry to hear about what happened. I'm glad that you're still alive and with us, though. When you want to try again, we hope that the next attempt at babydom goes smoothly and without complications. Sounds like you also have a wonderful support network to help with this. And there's always bashing virtual things with sticks.