Looking inside myself...

Terin · Huzzah! Gender: Joined: 27 Oct 2003

Is it just me?
Sometimes I wonder...

I tend to think that your average person has a good heart. I give people the benifit of a doubt. Maybe this leaves me open to be taken advantage of? Am I a fool? Is the answer to that even important to me?

What do I value? Trust. Understanding. An open mind. These are things I look for in other people, whether they are a lover or a friend. Sometimes I want to see those qualities so badly that I turn away from their opposites. Sometimes I fall victim to those myself.. I've found, in the past two years, that I've made accusations, I've judged others, and that's not right. My reasoning is simple (which doesn't justify it by any means): If someone who I hold dear is unwilling to change, and it tears at our relationship, I have 2 options: help them change, or end the relationship and move on. At this point I've invested my heart into them, so I'm reluctant to let go. Add to that the fact that I'm frustrated that they've put me to this decision, and it's quite easy to look at judging as an acceptable solution. It's easy, but it's not right. If that person refuses to change, by action (words being proven without value), then my only option is to cash in my investment and move on. How heartbreaking.

-T

Tobias · *explodes* Age: 38 Gender: Joined: 17 Jan 2003

I would think that looking inside yourself would reveal lots of blood and guts.

but I digress.

So you've had a conflict of interests. Honestly, I can't say that these things don't happen. Too many people live in a movie-world where they feel that everything is going to work out just, or that they are the anti-hero, and the world is out to get them.

First off - don't be that guy. Second off, if the person you hold dear is like this, then you know what?

It isn't worth your time.

Ming · DOOM! Gender: Joined: 13 Jan 2003

But is it really fair to ask someone to change, then offer them an ultimatum? People are who they are, and it is very difficult to make someone change who they are, especially if they don't think that what they are doing or how they are being is wrong. And what's to say that one person's opinion on how someone else should be is correct?

Not saying anything against you specifically Terin, this is just food for thought.

Sciler · Mistress Age: 45 Gender: Joined: 15 Sep 2002

Yeah, people shouldnt HAVE to change. If someone wants to, they will find a way to, be it doing it themselves or asking for help, but if someone does not want to change, but someone else wants them to change, then it is a wasted effort. You either accept someone as they are and be happy, or accept that you can't be with that person, but you can be thier friend if its strong enough to last, and try to mend what will get injured in the separation.

Terin · Huzzah! Gender: Joined: 27 Oct 2003

Eh they know they need to change, there ways don't just hurt ME, but everyone around them. But they're unwilling to change. Eh screw it, I'm giving up. They aren't worth it.
-T

FawkesFyre · Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 5:46 pm Post subject:

Terin · Huzzah! Gender: Joined: 27 Oct 2003

Because they were someone completely different when I first met them.
-T

Doot · Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 6:09 am Post subject:

Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful; a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day.

~ Our buddy Dalai Lama