Eternal Dragon-- revised Chronicles

[Shandriz]

Okay, I know I posted some stuff from Eternal Dragon before, but, as I've re-started it, I figured I'd go ahead and start a new thread for it. ^^

This summer I had my Advanced Creative Writing class, and for all the assignments I did snippets from Eternal Dragon. So, I thought I'd share. Tell me what ya think! (except, please don't say "I'm confused!" because remember these are snippets and no, not all the information is there yet. )

Assignment 1- Through the Dragon's Eyes

His Quest had been simple. He was to find the One, capture it, and destroy it. As the second most powerful man in Gihan, he was responsible for the safety of his culture, his people, and their way of life. The One was a threat. It must be eliminated. His homeland could not be destroyed.


Shiro, the leader of his people, had given him this task after the Whispers had prophesied the coming of the One. Ryu had spent the past ten years waiting for the day when he could search it out. And four years ago, the snow had fallen. Snow. The world really was falling apart—it never snowed in Gihan. Weather monitors made sure of it. But the prophecy had said it would snow upon the platinum buildings, and it had done so.

Two years ago, he’d had to suspend his searching because the Mutates had rebelled. They’d never rebelled before, but they’d heard about the prophecy somehow. And one of them must have been intelligent enough to comprehend it and spread it along in words the Mutates could understand. The underworld of Gihan had fallen into chaos. They’d had to resort to even more violent methods than usual to contain them, and had almost gone so far as to kill them all. They couldn’t do that, though. They needed the Mutates to remind them of their past mistakes.

The search began again as soon as the Mutates were under control. Night and day, he pursued rumours. He searched every child that had been born during the day of Snow in Gihan. It was easier to search amongst his own people, and as the prophecy related to them, he had hoped that they could keep it within their own country.

Torture, darkness, hatred. These became his constant companions. He hurt them until they told him everything, or even when they had told him everything because of his own frustration. Someone must know where the child was that would fulfill the prophecy so that he could destroy it.

The fact was, though, that it only took a few months after the rebellion before they had searched all the avenues they could pursue in Gihan. The One was not amongst them. He had hoped that it would not come to this, but now they had to make plans to search the Niij territories.

No one knew what to expect there—it was forbidden to venture near their lands. They carried disease, they lived in anarchy and dirt and filth. They had –trees- and plants and animals…they were technologically inferior. There was nothing about the Niij that was pleasant, to be sure. The Ancestors had passed on this knowledge since the beginning of the Great Split, and nobody could even remember how long ago that had been. It had been too chaotic, trying to rebuild during that time. Even the Grand Master’s chronicles were sketchy at best.

The only way he could think of to properly search the Niij lands was to start raiding further in the border territories. They could capture and question whomever they didn’t kill, and it wouldn’t hurt to aid those already fighting over there—the noble souls attempting to enlighten the backwards heretics.

He’d raided villages for months, the torture and darkness heightened even from that which he’d done in his own territory. After all, these people needed order, needed discipline, and needed him to bring these things to them. He had brought them. They could only learn through pain—they were too brainwashed with this anarchical peace and chaotic diversity. The Niij were strong, though. He learned very little.

It was quite by accident that he finally found it. Her. The child was a girl, and she looked almost as though she could have come from his own lands. Dark hair, mocha-coloured skin, almond-shaped eyes. She was a pretty little thing for four years old. And so smart. He knew what he had to do.

He had swooped in alone, guns blazing, and killed her family, and then he grabbed her, removing her from the building. He would have just killed her then and there, but he knew that he should show Shiro first—their leader would want to know, to see her, to confirm that she was indeed what they had been looking for. She was, though. He knew it. From the look in her eyes, from the calmness with which she regarded him…this was no regular child.

“Put her down!” Defiant. The woman who stood before him was small, hair lighter than any of his people, but darker than most of those he’d seen here in this territory. She was obviously Niij, though, from her pale skin and pale, wide eyes. Her sword was drawn, and he had to try hard not to laugh. A sword? Against his gun? Something in her eyes, however, told him that she was more of a threat than she looked.

Power. That was it. She was absolutely swimming with it. He could sense it like little electrical charges flowing through her body. She might even be stronger than he was—though he doubted this. The Ancestors had gifted all of his people with the Power. It was only a rumour that a few of the Niij had been gifted too. Well—not a rumour anymore, but he still doubted she had the discipline and control he had, even if she could wield as much of it as he did. She was no danger.

“Move away, silly girl.” He realized then that she was not alone. Battle had started just over the hill, and her soldiers—for her bearing made him certain that she was the leader—were holding their own against his own troops. And they were trapped here in her territory. He hated being at a disadvantage. He tossed the little girl to the ground—she’d be easier to recover—and took the woman instead by the arm before she had a chance to respond,

“You’re going to get me out of here,” he said, dragging her towards the dragon. She attempted to hit him with her sword, but it was too long for close combat and he managed to use the Power to wrap around her wrists and ankles so that she could not escape. The sounds of battle came closer, and he turned ready to chase after the One, but she was gone. She had completely disappeared.

Cursing, he dragged the woman to his dragon and lifted off. He knew that her soldiers—if they could be called such—would not fire on it with her there. Their sense of nobility outweighed their rationality. He could escape, but now they knew he was looking for the girl, and it’d be harder to recover her.

“You’re lucky I don’t kill you now,” he muttered angrily,
“You’ve cost me a great deal. But I will recover. I’ll find her and kill her before she has a chance to ruin everything.”

“She’s just a child!” the woman protested, moving to bite him, but he swiftly dodged out of the way. So, they didn’t know what this child was. Probably hadn’t even heard the prophecy, now he thought of it. Why would they have?

His face was set grimly forward as he guided the dragon back home. He’d take her to his building, interrogate her. Find out about her Power, maybe. And perhaps...Perhaps she knew enough about this child to help him find her again. And if not…well, he could just kill her.

[Shandriz]

Assignment 2- And So It Begins (Revised for the Final)

He hated her. He was certain of it. She was beautiful in her own right—so different from his own people with her lighter hair and eyes as pale as the sky. Skin as pale as…well, that didn’t matter. He hated her. He hated what she stood for, what she was, what she had done. She’d stood between himself and victory and glory. The One was lost—he had no
idea if he could find the child again—and it was her fault.

She was Niij, too, and that counted against her. The Niij and the Gihan had been fighting for thousands of years, ever since the Great Split when the war of the Old World had left the new one in devastation. They had rejected technology; had even gone so far as to –blame- technology as the downfall of the Old World. They were instinctive, primal creatures, not fit to shine the shoes of the Gihan. They believed in peace, equality, the old religion...so many things the Old World had believed in, but they had not saved the Niij then, and they would not save her now. Technology was the only way-- if they had more, and better technology than they had before the Great Split, they could survive, but the Niij couldn't seem to understand this.

He stood over her and those pale eyes held nothing but defiance where they should hold fear, submission. Those on the border knew—they had experienced the Gihan’s raids enough, the war. They knew that he was to be feared. This woman was from too far inside the borders to recognize his ranking, his superiority. She would learn. Or she would die.

“I don’t know why you’ve brought me here,” she glared at him, her eyes narrowing “It won’t do you any good. My father won’t come to get me; we’re too far in Gihan territory and he’s no fool. And he won’t pay the ransom.”

Her father? What did he have to do with this? Perhaps she was of some importance to her people, then. He didn’t care. He didn’t want ransom, and he knew that anyone who came after her would be killed. They were, after all, in the most protected building in Gihan. Shiro was upstairs giving orders. He was disappointed with Ryu for not bringing back the One--for letting her slip through his fingers. Some minor official had been killed in his place, though; Ryu himself was far too valuable to be wasted like that.

The man stalked back and forth across the room like some sort of giant, angry predator caged and staring at prey it couldn't quite reach. He had to have the One. This woman knew where she was, and she'd give him that information. She had to. The fate of Gihan depended on it.

“What do you know about the prophecy?” he asked her, ignoring her words. he did not dignify them with an answer, as his own questions were far more important than any this primitive might have. He leaned in closely, his face an inch or two before hers as he looked into her eyes. They were disconcerting. So light. Not like his own deep, burnished gold. Strange for his people, but then, most of his people didn't have the DNA he did.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” her eyes were still narrow, angry, but there was none of the tell-tale flash that would indicate she was lying. He'd seen others appear to be ignorant who still knew plenty about the prophecy, though, and didn't let this dissuade him.

Besides, it would be too easy to accept that answer. She must know –something-. Why else would she have come to protect the child? If her people knew of the prophecy, they might very well now be guarding the little one, and he’d have to know what protections they might be using. It would be best not to lose any of his own soldiers against their lot. Wouldn’t want their precious blood spilled on such dirty land.

His lips curled in a snarl,
“You must know. Why were you there, at the city?”

The woman blinked, looking away. She was obviously unsure whether to tell him the whole truth. She –must- know something, then. He leaned in menacingly towards her, golden eyes attempting to pierce her into submission,
“Tell me!”

She shook her head, looking towards him again with a gaze just as piercing “I don’t know anything about any prophecy,” she reiterated, sitting back against the chair. So calm. She should’ve been terrified. But then, she didn’t know what he could do to her. Time was of the essence, so he decided to skip the physical torture, instead attempting to use his Power to dig into her mind. His mind slowly seeped into hers, the familiar sense of surface thoughts he simply brushed over. He wanted information about the prophecy, about the girl.

His hands clenched down on the arm of the chair she was sitting on-- something was wrong. He couldn't seem to get past her surface thoughts. Perhaps, though, just the pressure of having him there in her mind would loosen her tongue.

“Why were you in the city?” he repeated. There was no need to attempt to trick her into giving this information, or to rephrase his question—this was what he wanted to know, and eventually she would tell him. If nothing else, thoughts of the prophecy would surface.

She shook her head, “You shouldn’t bother. I am telling the truth. I don't know anything about your prophecy.”

His hands clenched tighter on the arm of the chair, and beads of sweat formed on his forehead. If she didn't tell him, Shiro would be more disappointed. Possibly even disappointed enough to do something about it. He had to get the information from her. He pushed harder at the barrier around her mind, imagining it a stone wall and himself a catapult. She was hiding something in there, and he had to get to it.

“Where is the girl?” Maybe she didn't know about the prophecy. Her primitive race probably didn't have access to Whispers the way the Gihan did, and certainly no Gihan would tell a Niij about the prophecy. Still, there was a reason she'd been protecting the girl, and she'd have to know where the child was. And that was the information he really needed.

She rolled her eyes, though sweat was starting to form on her face as well,
“I don’t know. I don’t even know who she is. Why are you so interested in her, anyways?”

Ryu sighed, throwing more 'stones' against her wall, attempting to break down the barrier. She knew –something- and she wouldn’t be able to keep it from him for long. He had to find the child, the One. His life, his career, his people all depended on it.

The woman’s eyes were getting wider, though, and her face pale. She shook her head, looking panicked,
“Stop!” she said. She shook the bonds on her arms, trying desperately to get free.

Ah, so he –was- getting through. He’d show her. How dare she defy him? He’d get whatever information he wanted from her. It was really too easy. He hadn’t felt like he’d made any leeway breaking down the barrier, but here she was already begging for mercy.

Her whole body was shaking now, “I mean it. You don’t want to do that.”

How dare she?! He'd show her. He increased the pressure, wild now with excitement. He would have the information soon, and he could continue his quest, kill this woman, kill the girl, his home, his life, would be safe.
“Where is the girl?”

“I’ve told you, I don’t know!” she tried to kick him, squirming desperately in an attempt to get free, and he could feel the heat of excitement building around him. He would have what he wanted soon, and then he could pursue the child, bring it back, kill it. Shiro would be proud. Gihan would be safe.

Flames licked at his feet.

Flames...licked at his feet? He looked down at them, letting go of the woman, and the chair.

What was going –on-?

“What are you doing?” he wasn’t worried about being hurt—flames couldn’t touch him, not with his Power. But how did she control them?

“Not...again..” her eyes were closed now, as though she were attempting unsuccessfully to control herself. Like a child. Ah. The Power. That was right. She didn’t know how to control it. He must have activated her abilities when he was probing at the wall surrounding her mind.

He let go of it, reaching for his own Power, pulling forth water from who-knew-where and it rained inside the building,
“You should be more careful,” he smirked, ‘You could hurt someone.”

She burst into tears, leaning forward and clutching her chest as though he'd just shot her in the heart. This, he thought, was going to be a very, very long day indeed.

[Shandriz]

Assignment 3- Baby Sometimes, Love Just Ain't Enough

((After the previous assignment, a soldier loyal to Ryu came in informing them that a warrant had been issued for Ryu’s arrest. Panicked, Ryu suddenly realized that he was indeed not immune to discipline after all, and fled the building. He took the woman with him—he’d need the information from her in order to eventually regain his honour. If he could bring back the One, he could regain his place.

They went into hiding in the slums where the Mutates lived. These people are those who have been horribly deformed from genetic experiments—attempt to blend the favourable qualities of various animals with human DNA to create more ‘perfect’ human beings.

The woman ‘Sana’ is horrified by this, not only because of what they’ve done, but because nearly as many of these human beings are from her own homeland as from his. Ryu is similarly horrified, though for different reasons—primarily the fact that some of these are more recent mutations, and therefore his precious technology is not quite as perfected as he once believed.

With this commonality, the two find grounds to work on. With this and the fact that they must depend on each other for survival in what is a truly horrific place to live (and to keep hidden in), they find themselves becoming closer, friends, and eventually falling in love despite themselves.))


“She wants me to go with her to Niij,” his voice was low, as though the Searchers he had once worked with might hear him, though he knew this impossible. Dinuk—a rather bear-like man with small round ears, a smattering of fur in patches over his body, and a few missing fingers—turned to look at Ryu.

“And?”

The man shuffled uncomfortably. This was not the sort of position he was used to being in, and he didn’t like it. He was always told what to do—making small decisions, but leaving the big ones to Shiro. This was most certainly a big decision, but not something he could bring to his former commander.

“I don’t know.”

He loved her; he could no longer deny that. Still, he loved his country, his way of life, his job, the security of a life knowing exactly what would come next. That was why he’d embarked on this whole crusade in the first place. He had to kill the One so that things would stay as they were, the way he liked them.

“If I go, I’ll have to give up on everything I’ve worked for.”

Dinuk nodded, though he doubted the bear-man understood. Dinuk didn’t realize what had gone into earning the position Ryu’d managed at such a young age. He didn’t know what it was like to realize he’d have to part ways with the order, convenience, consistency of a world filled with obedience for a world of chaos with no rank and no technology.

“Would she stay here?” he asked, big brown eyes still understanding despite this. Maybe he couldn’t imagine exactly what Ryu was giving up, but he could identify with the situation to a degree; he could imagine having to give up the life you knew for the unknown.

He shook his head,

“She can’t. It’s too dangerous.” She’d be killed. She didn’t look enough like one of his own people, and he couldn’t stay with the Mutates forever. If he were going to stay in Gihan, he’d have to redeem himself, which he couldn’t do with her.

He paced the room back and forth, looking out the window. The dark alley was barely visible in the moonlight, a few desperate strains of moonlight seeping through the tall brick buildings. Brick. This really was a slum. They hadn’t used brick in Gihan for hundreds of years. Someone outside was coughing—probably dying, as it seemed to be a common occurrence in this area.

Shifting his gaze, he could see the room that Sana lay in, sleeping. He could barely make her out-- the lights were so low and the lamp in the room he was in was the only light in the apartment—but he knew her form well enough for his eyes to trace the curve of her body underneath the covers. How could he leave her?

“What are you going to do?” Dinuk’s voice rumbled him back to the room he was in and he turned around to look at the other man,

“I just…” he knew what he’d do, but he didn’t like it. He knew that doing it he’d give up everything he could have had. There was no way to have both—if he left her, he’d never have her back, and if he left his home he’d never be able to return to it.

He ran a hand through his hair. He had to make his decision soon. She’d told him she wouldn’t wait long. She wanted to go home, and he didn’t blame her. She’d been away from Niij for over a year, and had no idea if the people she cared about were okay. That sort of thing seemed to matter to her and her people, or at least she seemed to worry about it quite a bit.

“I’m going to take Sana home,” he said softly, looking down at the floor, out the window, through the door…anywhere but at those accusing eyes and their lack of understanding. He wouldn’t get why Ryu was choosing his life over his love. The Mutates favored family and each other over all else. They were like the Niij in that respect.

“And then I’m going to find the One and kill her so that I can go back home.”

[Shandriz]

Assignment 4- Going Home

“I just need a warm bed right now,” she said, rubbing her eyes as she attempted to keep her attention focused on the woman in front of her, “Food and stuff tomorrow, but tonight, just sleep.”

The innkeeper looked about to protest—the woman obviously was in need of food and a bath nearly as much as sleep—but decided against it, and gave her a key,
“Well, then, here you are. But I have to say…”

Sana held up a hand, shaking her head, “I don’t want to argue or talk, I just want to sleep.”

How could she eat right now, anyways? She trudged up the stairs to the designated room and flopped on the bed, hoping sleep would come, but those eyes just kept haunting her. Would she ever see him again? A part of her knew that if she did, she would wish she hadn’t.

For now, all she could do was sleep. She rolled over, the bed sheets twisting around her feet and then kicked at them forcefully to free herself of them. She stared at the ceiling. It was exactly the sort of thing you’d expect from an inn this close to the borders; falling apart, but still holding together somehow. The grace of the Angels she supposed. Lord knew that was how –she- kept alive.

She sat up, looking out the window and hoping to keep her mind busy with whatever was going on there. It was the middle of the night, though, and nobody was about. A few rats scurried across the street looking for a meal, but no people. She was far enough away from the battle that even the sounds of fighting were gone. Now it was just the creaking of boards as the innkeeper went to bed and the man in the next room snoring that met her ears.

She went to lie back down and smacked her head on the headboard. Suddenly, something snapped inside her and she kicked the sheets off, getting out of the bed and pacing the room. She couldn’t stay here. She had to keep moving. She wasn’t tired, and she was a long way away from home.
Slowly, she picked up her pack again, creeped down the stairs and-- leaving a few coins at the desk to pay for the room she hadn’t used—headed back out.

After several nights of sleeping on the sides of the road, she started getting into familiar territory. She knew it wouldn’t be long before her father sent someone to come get her; it’d be impossible for the townspeople not to recognize her or let her father know she’d returned. After spending two years off the map, they’d want to get her home as quickly as possible.

Stalling, she ducked into a seedy bar for a quick bite. The bartender came over, quiet for a moment. He looked her over carefully, as though not quite sure he was seeing what he thought he was, then said, carefully,
“Can I get you something?”

Sana nodded, shifting uncomfortably in her seat,
“Just some water, though. It’s been a long trip.”

The man looked about to say something, but then closed his mouth, thinking better of it and went to get the water. When he returned, he put a hand gently on top of hers, patting it,
“How far?”

Sana refused to meet his gaze, instead looking at anything else—the bar, the customers, the walls,
“I’ve been walking since the border.”

He moved his hand from hers, nodding slowly,
“That –is- a long walk. See any fighting?”

She looked at him sharply for a moment, wondering if he knew something of what had happened. Perhaps her people had found Arik after all and told him what she’d done. Well, her father would have to have found out sooner or later anyhow that what was supposed to be a visit to Kilan hadn’t actually been a visit to Kilan and that she’d disappeared somewhere around the border.

She shook her head, taking a sip from the glass of water,
“A little, but I’ve been off the battlefield for a while. Tell me, has Lord Arik been found yet?”

The man’s eyebrows shot up,
“Where have you been? They found him nearly two years ago. They’ve been searching for Lady Sana, now. Disappeared off the face of Niij the same day they found Arik. There’re rumours she was kidnapped by the Gihan. The Avatar, Chiisa, said it had something to do with some little girl, but she wouldn’t say anything else.”

His eyes were very intent on her face as he said this, as though searching for answers from her. She looked away again, setting a couple of coins on the bartop,
“Thanks for the drink, and the information. Glad he’s been found.”

She got up to leave, but the man shouted after her,
“Wait! You might want to know that the King isn’t doing so well. He’s really torn up over the disappearance of his daughter.”

Sana bit her lip, not turning around, and exited the building.

[Shandriz]

Assignment 5- It's the End of the World as We Know It

“What’s going on?” She looked at the little girl, eyes open wide as though she were the young one desperately seeking counsel from an older and wiser adult.

“The battle begins tonight,” her words were so cold, deliberate, heart-wrenching. The battle would end tonight, too. She looked down at the ground, then towards the sky.

“How will it end?” Chiisa was sure she knew, but she wanted to ask anyways. She wanted the hope that perhaps things could change, that the gears which had been set into motion could stand some oiling and maybe a monkey wrench thrown in or a million other metaphors that meant it just wouldn’t turn out the way it was destined to.

“You know how it will end. This battle was decided long ago.” Tears formed in the little girl’s eyes, and for once Chiisa was reminded of just how young she was.

Chosen one or not, Ichigo was just a child. She may have unlocked the secrets of the universe, been privy to fate, but she was a scared little girl who knew all too well what was to come.

The woman absently adjusted the wrappings on her hand, reminded of the night not long ago when Ryu had appeared, trying to kill Ichigo. Though she could have Healed the wound easily enough, she let it take its natural course—a reminder of just what the man was capable of, and that he should be watched.

“Isn’t there anything we can do?”

The girl turned away, and Chiisa looked up to the sky herself, searching for answers, for hope. A white dove flitted across the sky, and then ducked out of sight. They’d been given their chances. Thousands of years for the world to change, and nothing had. If anything, it’d become even worse than it had been before. She bit her lip, holding back tears.

Her bare feet took in the feel of the grass, the dirt, knowing that soon she would not feel these things ever again. Or at least, they would not be the same if she did. The little drops of dew that came with morning clung to her ankles, and she lifted her foot to wipe at is as the blades scratched against her.

She’d done everything she could. Spent all those years carefully nursing the Niij, letting them know they were loved and that things could change—that this love could conquer all ills, and with it they could become stronger, better people.

She’d lost hope with the Gihan long ago—none of them would listen to her, but had instead kept to their precious technology. The Niij had showed promise, and a few brave souls had really tried to make a difference…her heart bled for poor Sana.

The woman had made that last bid for freedom, for life, for love…and it had failed. And she’d had to have her heart broken in the meantime. While Chiisa could never experience that sort of love herself, she knew what a toll it could take on those who lost it.

“…Ichigo?” She looked towards where the little one had been standing, but her dark form was no longer there. Panicked, the woman cast about frantically for any sign of her. This was it. It was happening now. Her last chance to save…everything was now.

A flash of movement caught her eyes, and her feet pounded heavily on the ground as she chased off in that direction. It was hard to make out the forms, but she knew without seeing them that Ichigo was there with Ryu, just behind those trees.

She pushed branches out of the way, revealing man and child. The girl was lying on the ground, crimson blood falling from a single wound right in the heart. He turned to Chiisa with sad eyes, eyes that knew what he had done and regretted it, but knew he would do nothing different if given a second chance,
“It had to be done.”

The woman ignored him, her wings fluttering behind her as she all but flew to the little girl’s side, desperate to heal her. But she knew better—the Metatron could not bring back the dead, and the Son would not disobey his Father. Gently, tears flowing down her cheeks, she closed the girl’s eyes.

She didn’t turn around; she could hear the thudding of his boots as he left the area, finished. His job was done, so now he could return to his people, to destroying things. It was all he knew-- and all he would ever know.

[Tobias]

So when can i read the whole thing? Cause i'm enjoying it thus far.

[Shandriz]

When it's finished? It'll probably be a while. I'm going to try to get into it again, especially as I'm fairly happy with it right now (though, obviously, they need editing).

[Tobias]

well, im not doing very much. If you want, i can give it a proofread for ya.

[Shandriz]

Hey, sure, and any suggestions/etc you want to throw in are fine too. Though, remember that not everything is there yet.