Quotes and Entertaining Clips from Work

SirGunslinger · Rebel without a clue Gender: Joined: 21 Jun 2007

Telephone Solicitor Selling Office Supplies or why you should never cold call me.

<Solicitor> May I speak to Joseph Gilbrat? (butchered my name)

<Me> Can I help you?

<Solicitor> I represent a company that sells bulk office supplies at discoun...

<Me> I do not accept phone soliciting.

<Solicitor> I'm not a solicitor!

<Me> What are you?

<Solicitor> I'm here to present an opportunity to your company to save money on office supplies and business needs.

<Me> Ah excuse me, so you are a call girl instead of a whore. You still get nailed in the face and are on your knees all the same. I don't accept soliciting and take me off your list now!

<Solicitor> That's offensive! I'm not a whore!

<Me> Yet here you are moving your tongue and trying to cup my coinpurse...

<Solicitor> ... *click*

Kothar_Isk · Shadow Mage Gender: Joined: 22 Nov 2005

that is awesome. good for you.

SirGunslinger · Rebel without a clue Gender: Joined: 21 Jun 2007

Someone inquiring on how I felt about the past 2 months at work.

<Human Resources> So how would you describe the past 8 weeks of work?

<Me> Feeling or what I did?

<Human Resources> How you felt about work.

<Me> Like I blacked out, and woke up with rug burns, sore ass and a strange taste in my mouth.

<Human Resources> Huh? What do you mean?

<Me> I feel like I've been screwed over pretty hard.

<Human Resources> How so?

<Me> I did the math on how many hours I work, and if my salary were an hourly wage then I know people cashiering at Marshals that make more than I do.

<Human Resources> *Look of bewilderment*

<Me> You asked for my honesty. People seem to like it because familiarity breeds contempt.

<Human Resources> errr thank you for your time...

Akuko · Chosen of Bast Age: 45 Gender: Joined: 03 Mar 2006

Wow. Score another for honesty. You don't pull any punches! I feel the same way about my job.

SirGunslinger · Rebel without a clue Gender: Joined: 21 Jun 2007

There are times where I think I try to get a political firing... I think of it as a mercy killing.

Al the DLOE · Posted: Sun Mar 22, 2009 3:26 pm Post subject:

Joe, my man...These are some of the reasons i am glad to have you as a friend. You can tell someone "FUCK YOU" in a way that makes them stop, think, get offended at themselves from how you repackage it, and then lash out only to realize they made the mistake in the first place. Rock on and remind me to get you either a steel pair of underwear or softer knee pads to help with the job.

FawkesFyre · Posted: Sun Mar 22, 2009 3:37 pm Post subject:

When i grows up, I wanna be just like you! Mr. Green

That was awesome! I'm so glad you've started posting this stuff!

Ming · DOOM! Gender: Joined: 13 Jan 2003

I guess this may be an inappropriate time to mention that a little kindness DOES go a long way sometimes. If I were that telemarketer, I probably wouldn't have taken you off that list based on your behavior, but that's just me.

I mean, I know that they can be annoying, but really they're just doing their job...which is pretty shitty in the first place. No need to make it worse on people who probably hate calling you in the first place, but have to in order to make a living.

Al the DLOE · Posted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 12:19 pm Post subject:

Ming · DOOM! Gender: Joined: 13 Jan 2003

So far, I've been pretty successful getting them off the phone with, "You know what? I hate to interrupt you, but I'm really not interested. Thanks!"

Usually I get a "Thank you for your time", and the call is over.