Depression. - Anger without Enthusiasm...?

Katana · Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2003 4:14 am Post subject:

...Truly...this isn't heated up enough to be steam.

...Perhaps i'm blowing off water.

....The state of matter that this might be in isn't important. On to the whining!

I'm angsty. I admit it. I'm way, way, way, to angsty for my own good. But I've always managed to deal with the angsty thoughts. ...But with alot of things going on....The playful, cheery facade has worn down to where its like...The best I can hide it is just to be kinda...bland. I go from near-emotionless to tired, to irritable. And I sleep even less now. And I eat *VERY* little. ...But if I lay down in bed...no matter what I try, I can't sleep. If I eat...even when I don't want to, I'll throw up....

And I looked up some depression "symptoms"...

*Are you finding the activities that you used to enjoy no longer appealing?*
....Yeah. I don't spend *as* much time on the computer anymore, and nearly no time on the phone. I don't sew any more....Volunteer work seems pointless and tireing.

*Do you break down and cry easily or for no reason?*
Abso-friggin-lutely. ...Cried for quite a bit tonight. Sigh.

*Do you often feel angry or sad?*
More 'sad' than 'angry'. But I get a good dose of anger once and again.

*Has your job performance or your grades at school gone down?*
Yeah, I got C's in most of my classes. (Which is bad for me.)

*Has your motivation or drive plummeted?*
...I feel too tired to do anything. Too lazy.

*Have you been feeling very tired or fatigued?*
...even if I sleep for DAYS.

*Have your lost or gained weight?*
Gained 10 pounds, Lost 20, Gained 15, Lost 10. ...All in the course of 2 or 3 months. x_X

*Have your self confidence and esteem gone down?*
Eh-heh? ...These were never really all that high to begin with, though high enough....Feh.

*Would you prefer to be alone than with others?*
I don't leave my *ROOM* anymore.

Perhaps I just need to get out more...

BWS-1 · Otaku Lord Gender: Joined: 25 Sep 2002

Psycologicly speaking, you do seem to have a lot of depression symptoms ... what scares me is the "...But if I lay down in bed...no matter what I try, I can't sleep. If I eat...even when I don't want to, I'll throw up...." part. Ya know, that sounds like some symptoms to something else then depression. I can't put my finger on what, but I know it's probably something you should see a doc fo, really.

Music can help, I don't have much advices to give you, but since I know how it feel to be to lazy to do anything but getting out of our room, music seems to be an appropriate cure since it doesn't require much effort to listen to music. But now the important thing is to choose appropriate music to listen to, hardcore and stressing stuff isn't recommended <_<

Akira · Ambers biotch Age: 35 Gender: Joined: 27 Oct 2002

im reawy sorwy kaywa.....

i really hope you get better and start eating and sleeping again.
i prolly better than anyone would know about how bad it sucks not to sleep...ive got ITBS testing this week and i git about 45 minutes of sleep last night.

i really hope it gets better.

-Akira

Katana · Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2003 9:13 am Post subject:

I've already taken my ITBS for this year. I took mine at the begginning, but methinks they'll make me take three more tests with the NEW ITBS.

...Who needs to take somthing called the "Iowa Test Of Basic Skills"....!_! Nothing about8th grade is "Basic" and I don't live in Iowa....

...They should call it "One of the many long, annoying, standardized tests."

Sperrit · Chosen of Earth Gender: Joined: 16 Oct 2002

-huggle-
Everyone has to deal with stuff like this at one time or another, Katana. Unfortunatly it's part of the grand scheme of life, scary as it is. There's little you can do to STOP it, but you can cope with it. Make it a point to get outside into the sunlight and do something active (even if you don't want to). By doing activities you're using up energy so you'll have a better appetite, you'll be more tired so you might actually get some sleep, and you'll release endorphins into your blood stream which make you feel happy. And if you can, get your friends to come along. Throw a frizbee around, swing on a swing set or just walk around. It'll help. Especially if you've got friends that make you laugh. Laughing is the best for this. And, just a reminder, if you wanna talk about anything I'm here for ya, k?

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Righty The Wonder Ghoul · Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2003 7:49 pm Post subject:

im sorry. and that list scares me in how much applies to me. but im just less angsty and more ready to get this life over with. its boring me. that and a D in theology! woohoo! ya! gonna get skinned alive by my parents, yipee!

but dont be upset, you are a smart person, and school sucks, college is better or so i am told. dont hurt yourself, trust me, its not worth it.

Akira · Ambers biotch Age: 35 Gender: Joined: 27 Oct 2002

speaking of depression, i am having a small little issue of it myself...i have been feeling crappy lately and just have alot of problems goin on in my life that i cant do crap about...it just really pisses me off when i cant help a problem of a freind or family member or anybody of that atter and i just really have been feeling down for about the past 5 days. i dont know exactly how you feel kayla but i know that it must suck because i have been through alot of crap in my life and this one really bites.

Sperrit · Chosen of Earth Gender: Joined: 16 Oct 2002

Problems like that suck. You just feel so powerless about it all. I know what that's like. But you just have to accept their outcomes, unfortunately. There's no point in worrying about then while you can't do anything about them. But you must always keep your eyes open for the moment that you can do something. Until then, relax and wait. Things will work out, if for no other reason than you have friends here on PO. Feel free to talk to me if you want to.

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Selrahc the Evil · true Evil's creator Joined: 18 Mar 2003

I know what its like to be very depressed.
Right now I am going through a bad bout of depressoin my self. Its been nearly three weeks now and it has only been getting slowly worse. I don't know what I can do to stop this downward spiral. The last time I got this bad a friend of mine had to pull me away from a third story window.

Sperrit · Chosen of Earth Gender: Joined: 16 Oct 2002

Well.... I can't physically pull you from a window, buddy, but know that if you ever want to talk about stuff you can IM me or PM me.
Anyway... depression sucks. The only problem with it (besides it's existence) is that the only real cure that I know of is friends, but the biggest reason for being depressed is not having any close friends. Stupid Catch 22.

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