Bumblebee's "ARGH!!" Thread...

Bumblebee · Senior Otaku Age: 41 Gender: Joined: 21 Feb 2003

So like...I've been reminded of shit I tried to forget...and because of this, I've started going into a really pathetic wave of depression(the kind where you start to question everything and hate certain past relationships((not you Lisa : D)) a lot more than you did before?). Anywho. So here I am, feelin really pissed off at myself and other people and stuff...
...and then here comes a friend on IM trying to cheer me up- but this person only made it WORSE.

Anywho. And ontop of this crap(I'm not going to be specific...some of it will go to the grave with me), I've got ***** not responding to me or anyone on the project. I'm not mentioning the name cuz TECHNICALLY, I'm not even supposed to be talkin about it. I trust my shit won't leave the PO boards, so I'm comfortable venting it here.
I lost TWO-THREE days of work on Energon 24(out now : D) last month so I can do this work for *****; and surprise! Nothing. No word. This better not be like how Transformers: Genesis was to all it's participants. I don't mind doing free work for people; but only if I was told ahead of time that the work was free. It took ***** so long to just GIVE us the damn assignments to do, and now it's taking ***** so fucking long to TELL us if they want to even USE OUR WORKS. At $100 a card I did- with a possibility of making, at most, $1000, I sure as HELL want to know if these people are going to use my shit. What's buggin me more is that the other people on the team(the other three) are REALLY good artists; one of them is a fellow Dreamwave employee(or is it Hasbro...?) who does box-art for a lot of the Transformers figures; the other is a REALLY well known fan artist; and the last is a great friend of mine and is really awesome at drawing Transformers. See, I suck. I REALLY suck compared to these guys. No joke. IF THE PROJECT GOES THROUGH AND THEY PRINT MY STUFF, you will see for yourselves. x_x. I didn't even ink anything becasue of time! =_=# arrrrrgh...Oh well. I'm looking at about $1160(?) from Dreamwave within the next few weeks for the Armada profiles, Energon 23 and Energon 24...maybe I'll be like m'buddy Espen and get to color a whole comic...at my current rate of $90 a page colored, times 24 comic pages...it's not +$2400 like he makes(he gets paid more than me; he's been with DW for a while now), but it's damn close enough to get me close to 6 trips to Georgia >D. Just...gotta...wait...for...checks...
Anywho. Then, like, ever since my bro went to Florida, people have been wanting to hang out and then making comments about how I'm boring...no shit! I spend my entire day in a house coloring comics! There's rarely any room to go out and socialize or anything; and when I DO go out, it's for an errand or a rare movie-seeing(Troy SUCKS.). Seriously...am I THAT bad compared to him? I mean, am I SO boring compared to my brother that people have to constantly point it out? PF(my twin) is fuckin awesome and I love him as much as I can- but I, in no way, think that I deserve to have any boring-ness-itisity pointed out so often. I don't go clubbing, I don't hang out too often, I don't dance, and I don't talk to too many people(though as we all know, I have no problem making a fool of myself in front of complete strangers).
...I digress on that.
I CAN go out...I can. But I got a car that has about a 75% chance of shuttin off on me at a stoplight. GOOD thing is that it starts back up...bad thing is that it'll piss someone off FAST.

I think I just need to meet better people. I like a lot of people down here; they're not BAD people- it's just that everyone seems to have shaped themselves around me AND my brother- Pep' bein the focal point since he was the "interesting" one. This is why when I go up to GA, I go alone. It's not that I don't want Pep' to come with, but moreso because I feel like I'm just ME without the HIM up there- kinda like he's got his group of friends here, and I got my group of friends there---- because the group I got here is also HIS group of friends...
AND HOW DARE some of his friends make the effort to talk to me?! When Peppermint was down here, NONE of them spoke to me! I would say HI and get these uncomfortable silences...yet all the friends I had had no problem making friends with Abe...and being better friends with him. Anywho...can't yell at a person for trying to be a friend, but I can be pissy with them for treating me like I'm some kinda donut that can only be driven for an hour while the original tire is out.
...bitch bitch bitch. Augh.
It's all mental stuff. I tell myself not to worry about it or think about it, but anything and everything sets all this crap off in my head and it feels like a time-bomb spreading a circulating pounding force through my head and heating up my brain.
I got 2 minutes of sleep last night. TWO FUCKING MINUTES OF SLEEP, and my eyes are redder than Ronald McDonald's fucking hair. I think I'm going to attempt some sleep later...I'm tired...but my eyes burn when I close them...BURN!!!!!!!
...hhh.....: D WELL. Now that we've all gotten annoyed with me. Let us carry on...

Doot · Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2004 2:44 pm Post subject:

I'ma send you a care package.

One bottle of Visine
One soft blanket
One comfy pillow
One stuffed replica of Dootbear
One Glass of warm milk
And a gift certificate for an hour massage.

Oh and a free "Kick AzVegeta in the Junk" card. It's ok, he'll let ya!

Got a room for you to stay in when you get here. ~hugs~

Bumblebee · Senior Otaku Age: 41 Gender: Joined: 21 Feb 2003

I think what I need is a lot to drink..

Now I can't even find old photos that I need to make me feel better...fucking DAMMIT.

Reverend · I kin Age: 41 Gender: Joined: 21 Oct 2002

I think that just beat out Ming's record for longest recorded post on PO, GOOD GOING BUMBLEBEE!!

Okay, bad attempt at cheering you up aside, I know how it can feel when you are feeling depressed. Hell, I've got it running in both sides of my family, and I know I can have little bouts of it ever so often. If you really need to, talk with your primary doctor, they can either refer you to a shrink or do the perscription themself. It's a lot more common now than you might think.

Barring that, just remember that it could always be worse, it could be raining

Excel Zero · Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2004 6:01 pm Post subject:

I'm sending a package too....with lots and lots of Sake....and I am gonna fire up my wok and make you stir fry and send it

hope ya feel better

Bumblebee · Senior Otaku Age: 41 Gender: Joined: 21 Feb 2003

Reverend · I kin Age: 41 Gender: Joined: 21 Oct 2002

It might sound weird, but check out those 'HappyLite' things. You know, the white light sunlamps. It does help to put one on in your room and spend some time right in front of it. Mines right by my computer, so that I don't forget what the outside might look like

Bumblebee · Senior Otaku Age: 41 Gender: Joined: 21 Feb 2003

Doot · Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2004 6:58 am Post subject:

~mixes up the girly drinks~ Bring it on! I could handle just sketching all day. WOOOOO!

Shino · Posted: Fri Jun 11, 2004 8:25 am Post subject:

Dood, you have to make sure that if you come here, it's not only from 6/20 - 6/26 b/c... I WON'T BE HERE.

And I will be very upset if you get here and I didn't get the chance to get you drunk as hell! I can mix some kick ass girlie drinks for you man.

No seriously. You need to get away. It's the same with me, that's why Skibirdi and I are going to FL for a week. We just both need to get away from everything and enjoy life for a change instead of worring about shit.

It sounds like you need to do something similar. And what better way than to come down here and party your ass off with us!

By the way, there are parties going on the weekend of the 26th and the weekend of the 4th that you will of course be invited to!!!!!

D00d... Bee... Seriously... come party with us man!