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story/character designs |
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admit
Rookie
Gender: 
Joined: 27 Sep 2004 |
 Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2005 2:21 pm Post subject: story/character designs |
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Reverend
I kin
Age: 41
Gender: 
Joined: 21 Oct 2002 |
| Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 7:19 am Post subject: |
First, whoa, that was not what I was expecting in the least.
Getting that out of my system I've got to say I really like the Shakespearean feel to your story. In a way, it seems to parallel Hamlet some where Hamlet has a play put on but a travellin troupe about a Prince who poisons his brother to be king so he can determine where his now-king uncle did kill his father. I really like the idea of the story and it if you develop the characters well enough, I think that you can really immerse the audience into the conflict
As for the character designs, Anatole seems fine with his design, but somehow Lancelot and Gail just wash out to me. Maybe it is the clothing they are wearing, or perhaps the hair, but somehow despite being main characters they look like they should be in the background |
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Pot, Burden of Dilligence, One of the Pans of the aPOcalypse
PONY's Preacher Man
Token Social Scientist
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Wins 90 - Losses 76
Level 13 |
EXP: 5863
HP: 2940
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Ruler, the Fist of Mod (Mace)
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admit
Rookie
Gender:
Joined: 27 Sep 2004 |
| Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 10:35 am Post subject: |
| Reverend wrote: |
As for the character designs, Anatole seems fine with his design, but somehow Lancelot and Gail just wash out to me. Maybe it is the clothing they are wearing, or perhaps the hair, but somehow despite being main characters they look like they should be in the background |
the whole thing was a really really awesome review and I loved it to bits X3 but I just wanted to reply to that so...
 I usually do really out of control character designs (like anatole dyes his hair blue really shortly into the series) and I did anatole before I did lancelot and gail... well, after I did him I decided I needed to mellow down the other two (it's not like it's a fantasy story or anything) Lancelot is like your average guy, and gail is your average slut. >_>
later on (after the series is over, but I'll just draw a few pictures telling a little more about their lives) gail cuts her hair in some good ways, and Lancelot starts looking the part of a detective, so they'll become more unique and more of what their personalities are like. I'm haveing to do a LOT of expression work because they don't look like their clothes. Too many people are like that in the real world. ;3;
The secondary characters on the other hand... I got tired of plain and so I made the band members look like... well, band members. >D
thank you for r&rin so nicely. :3 |
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meh art- http://admit.deviantart.com
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Silver Adept
Otaku Lord
Age: 41
Gender:
Joined: 20 May 2003 |
| Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2005 2:29 pm Post subject: |
Plot summary sounds good - although I'd probably want to see some of the writing before I made judgment one way or another as to whether it would work.
The character designs are a bit spikey. Gail's expression seems a bit off for her character, and in general, the lines seem a bit heavy in describing them.
Lance and Tole look a lot alike, too. Perhaps a little mroe differentiation in features would be helpful.
But that's from a non art-trained eye, so take with salt. |
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Sir Silver Adept, KCI. Check out the Knights of Jubal if you want to revive chivalrous behavior.
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Wins 293 - Losses 240
Level 23 |
EXP: 2163
HP: 3375
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