Me Mentally Unstable? O.o

[Godwyn]

Apparently, my parents are convinced that I either have depression or that I am "mentally unstable." If only the knew the people I do :-p. But seriously, my dad was mentioning to me possibly seeing a psychiatrist or something. Which I would rather not do. In all my experiences with them in the past, which while they were not focused on me, I have never seen them as being particularly effective. I am not too worried about whatever tests they might give me if I did go, I know I am more than capable of lying to a psych test , since everything in my life has shown me that, no, I do not think like the majority of people in the world do. So what?

The timeframe for this was also running concurrently with a major disagreement with my mom. Really the disagreement was more along the lines of "Alex, get down here [. . .] blah blah blah" Most of it has blurred but the major points stand out, I am "[. . .] becoming a not a very nice person" and "[. . .] You don't need to be a part of this family."

The multiple causes of degrading me and making me feel as unwanted as possible were as follows. First, last saturday, I missed when one of my aunts came over for dinner and such. I missed it because I was at a wedding and turned my cell phone off. Afterwards I forgot to turn it back on. I understand that her visiting was moderately important, since I have not seen her in somewhere around 15 years. Now, she has been in town for a couple of weeks, and this is the only time she has come to visit us, the day before she left apparently. Now, if I had KNOWN AHEAD OF TIME, I would have been there, but the fact is I didn't. Apparently my dad had told me that morning, while I was vacuuming. It was also the morning, which is not my best time for thought processes.

Second, I did something to upset my sister on sunday morning. Too damn bad. She either completely ignored me, or simply chose to conveniently forget as she so often does, what exactly I had said to her, when she talked to my mom, because my sister is a manipulative fucking bitch. And honestly pissing off my sister is not on my list of worries, its not even on the list of stuff I give a damn about. She has done more than enough through the years that I owe her more pain and suffereing than I will probably ever repay, and not just on my own behalf.

Third, also apparently my mom thinks I do not spend enough time with my family, form some of this post, and other posts of mine you really have to wonder why that might be . Apparently often sitting around for half an hour to an hour after dinner talking to my parents, much better than a lot of people still practically a teenager do, is not spending any time with them. Or leaving off a perfectly good game to go watch a TV show or movie I barely care about, or have seen before, just to spend a bit of time with them apparently just doesn't exist within the dimension anymore. And maybe I don't spend as much time as I could with them since my mom absolutely refuses to understand, and barely accepts sometimes, lets see, videogames, anime, D&D, and other games, practically everything I am really interested in, that precludes a lot of conversation sometimes, if she would take the time out of her day to maybe once a fucking year play even a game of scrabble or something I might spend more time. My dad, who is the person I have always admired the most in my entire life, actually has attempted to understand my interests, and even enjoys games to some extent, that extent being he really does enjoy them but the last time he was seen by my mom playing a game of WarCraft 3 with me, she treated him badly for the rest of the entire fucking day, which is usual. Anyways, yes I am a horrible person and not deserving being part of the family apparently.

A fourth reason is seeming just stress over the money situation here according to my dad. Which, if I went into the reasons for the situation being as bad as it is would be an entirely different rant, over some of the same topics though.

Back to the original topic anyways. I may be depressed or mentally unstable, or both. Fuck it. I like the way I am, and apparently I have some good friends who like me as I am as well. I am not suicidal, and I am not likely to go out hurting others, so whose place is it to tell me I have to take medicine or constantly see someone who doesn't know a thing about me who can supposedly "help" me, just because my thought patterns do not fall into the range other people find acceptable.

[RivaOni]

this is all part of growing up im afraid dude, i went thru similar things, although my family were more accepting in my interests (the way they saw it was at least i werent going out doing satanic rituals as alot of people seem to think all teenagers do ) but the whole "youre becoming a not evry nice person" speach happens to everyone i think, people dont like change, and as you grow into an adult your going to change, which makes people either dislike you or become wary of you.

just take tihngs with a pinch of salt, u dont need to spend anymore time with the family than you want to, i bet theyf never force themselves to spend time with you? o what you feels best, atfer all, life has a way of sorting these issues out over time

[Shandriz]

*hugs* I know a lot of how you're feeling with your parents. Mine are mostly the same way-- they don't care about my interests, accuse me of not spending enough time with them, expect me to take an interest in whatever boring TV shows they're obsessed with, as that seems to be the only way -to- spend time with them.

They've gotten a lot better, though.

I think part of your problem with yours is the whole recent fight thing, and how there's a lot of tension floating about.

Just remember, if you need someplace to escape, our doors are open to ya. There's almost always one of us home, though if it's my brother you may have to ring the doorbell twenty billion times to get him to wake up.

[Silver Adept]

I agree with Riva - this could be just separation anxiety. Your ma could be realizing that you're becoming an independent individual, and trying to retard that a bit just so that she can keep you raound longer. It is probably a phase, and won't last (too) long. We hope, anyway.

[Antinua]

*huggles* That is rought, I'm sorry that you're having to go through all of this right now *huggles again*

I know exactly what you are going through, my Mom still hasn't accepted that I am the black sheep of my family, but hopefully she will learn that I am different and let me live my own life. *grumbles* I still get the "When are you gonna grow up and forget all this non-sense! I'm just worried that you're getting too envolved and you're gonna get into serious trouble." Mind you, she's talking about Dragon Con and Ren Fest and anything else like that and when she says "serious trouble" she thinks that I'm practicing witchcraft, which I'm not.
If anytime you want to get together with Shan and myself, just call we'll go see a movie and just get away for while, just give me a ring ^_^

[silverorb]

good luck sorting it all out. i've personally survived for 21 years as the reject of my family, and i'm getting through it (fairly) well. but i completely understand where you're coming from. my solution was to go to school 350 miles away from my family, and now when i go back there over breaks and such, i get along quite a bit better with them. maybe a change of scenery would help you too. i haven't really gotten to meet you, but pm me if you want to talk about anything, i'm sure i'l understand
good luck!

[Godwyn]

Heh, I am used to my mom not accepting anything she does not agree with, and part of it is that she does not understand that I am older now. I am 20, started living at home again after having been living at college for 2 years, still going there but commuting now, and I got just about a 5 minute lecture last week when I randomly decided to go hiking, great going to school in the mountains. This lecture was over the phone, after I called ahead to stave off any of the same sort of things, but I am used to that, she has always been this way.

The spending time with the family is not that much either, do I spend less time with them than I used to, no. Could I spend more time with them, yes. Will I, no. If I didn't have to pay for school, I wouldn't even be living with them now, I know plenty of people that I could room with from school and otherwise, and since recently I have been seriously getting a student loan just to be able to move out.

Telling me I don't need to be part of the family straight up pissed me off, since my sister is 3 years older than me, has a 3 year old child, is not married, and never even finished high school, and still lives at home as "part of the family."

But thats not it either. All of those are just add-ons to what truly bothered me. I know I can be a jerk sometimes, who isn't? But I worked very hard most of my life to earn and keep my parents respect, and to spare them more of the shit my sister put them through. When the group that had been my close friends for the entire time I had lived here all turned to drugs and all of the stereotypical teenage bad stuff, I never once succumbed to peer pressure, never committed any of a list of crimes that some of them did, which ended precluding me from spending much time with them and there is only even one of them I keep in contact with anymore. And my parents wonder why I spend so much time alone. I did this because my parents had been through enough with my sister that I didn't want to cause them any more pain. I met new friends that I am certainly glad I did , but we are all today what the past has made us. And of course, showing my mom's typical attitude, when I first got my license, I got sent out to the store to run errands, late at night. I didn't randomly go out, I was SENT, by my parents to get stuff at the grocery store. Now, I am atrocious at shopping to begin with, and my parents asked for very specific items that were a pain in the ass to find. Also, as Shandriz will attest, when I first started driving I drove slow as anything, and this was before I owned a cell-phone. I was the first one of my friends to get a license, so some of them came along with me cause it was cool , and right next to Kroger, where I had been sent, was Blockbuster Video, so I stopped by there as well to get a game. I got distracted and spent maybe a couple more minutes there than I intended oh well. I was in no hurry, nothing was urgently needed, the food wasn't needed until tomorrow. What is the first thing my mom says when I get back, "what took so long"? Or maybe even "Where were you"? No, even mild trust in me after how ever many years is too much to ask. I get screamed and yelled at and accused of being out doing drugs. I'm easy going most of the time, but as my friends know, I have a certain point at which it is too much, and nothing becomes too much for me to do. Aside from the fact that I take my integrity pretty seriously, her blatant accusation, without any reason to suspect anything, was too much. I called her on everything she said and refused to back down. I know, "Honor thy mother and father," but enough is a fucking nough. Did I expect an apology for being accused of using drugs when my sister was probably upstairs using drugs right then? Yes I fucking did, did it happen, no. My dad took me aside and had me go apologize to her. This event happened nearly 5 years ago and is still vividly in my mind. She is never going stop because she does not care if she says hateful hurtful things to anyone. I am actually just lucky I avoid most of the comments because they are usually targeted at my dad or sister.

Anyways, this benefit was more for my benefit to help focus my thoughts than for anything else, and it makes me realize that my mom is always going to treat me that way, and I should probably take silverorb's advice and just get out now.

[reaper]

My parents used to think I was depressed counseling or psychologist were actually brought up by them at one point. Mostly because I never really smiled much, and was always up in my room just chillen. The only reason is I do other things than my rents for R and R so I don't stay down with them and watch American Idol or what ever the hell is on that night.
But I am just a extriemly laid back guy and they didn't quite get my fatalistic tendancies either lol

But I just flash more smiles these days and they seem to be leaving me alone lol

[RivaOni]

chixies going thru a similar sort of problem right now, a few of you may know the history of what has happened between us and social services about our daugher, well chixies mum has 2 boys aswell who both have ADHD and one has autism and the other has aspergers syndrome, which is a mroe serious form of autism. anyway she's had social services on her back most of their lives and theyve never really helped her and her social worker seems to change all the time, but becuase our case is almost over and done with and social services dont have a problem with us anymore shes VERY bitter towards us.

she also borrowed £200 of chixies and spent £500 that belonged to her that went into her account ratjher than chixies coz her former employer messed tihngs up. so rather than giving us the £700 back, she said shed get us our cooker, washing machine and fridge, and pay for them to be fitted (and she goes on about it like shes doing us a huge favour when it was our money that we was gonna use for those things anyway!!) 5 months since we moved into our new house, we have the cooker but its not been fitted and shes now refusing to pay for our wahsing machine and fridge coz she's had to bail us out 2 or 3 times with food money because our benefits/welfare have been screwy the past couple of months.

then she has the cheek to bring ym family into things, my family live 2 hours away ON A TRAIN and they all have full time jobs and houses of their own to run, they dont get everything paid for for them unlike she does because shes unable to work.

anyway rant over, lifes a bitch, but you have to fight through it im afraid and it'll only make you a better and stronger person

[silverorb]

godwyn: only honor thy father and mother if they deserve to be honered

riva: good luck sorting everything out with chixie's family. it seems like you two and your baby are a really strong and happy unit and i'm sure your strength will pull you guys through