could you be a parent?

[RivaOni]

ive got a book called the The Adult Only Joke Book and in it is a section with "tests" onb wether youd make a good parent or not, here goes:

Car Test
Forget the buggie. Its a Station Wagon you'll be needing now. Buy a chocolate ice cream, and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a pencil and stick it in the cassette player. Take a family size tub of deep fried chips. Mash them into the back seat. Run a garden rake alongn both sets of doors. Now after 130,000 miles and a second engine try and trade it in.

Dressing Test
Obtain one large, unhappy, live giant squid. Stuff it into a small net bag, at all times making sure that all the arms stay inside.

Stink Test
Smear honey, peanut butter and soy sauce on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick and a hermit crab behind the couch and leave them there for the entire summer.

Feeding Test
Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill half way with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfulls of soggy cereal in the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be a helicopter/plane/train. Now dump part of the ocntents of the jug over your head and the rest on the floor.

Ingenuity Test
Take a toilet paper tube. Turn it into an Easter candle. Use only sticky tape and a piece of foil. Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and a pot of paint, turn it into a happy rhino. Take a milk carton, an empty box of Cocoa Puffs, a ping-pong ball, and make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.

Land-Mine Test
Get a giant box of Lego. Get your partner to spread them over the house. Put on a blindfold. Endeavour to walk to the kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake a child at night.

Night Test
Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and filling it with 8-12pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly with water. At 3pm begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9.pm. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10pm. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these until 4am. Set alarm for 5am. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look happy.

Physical Test(Men)
Go to the nearest chemist. Set your wallett on the counter. Ask shop assistant to help herself. Now proceed to the nearest supermarket. go to the office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a race guide. go home and read it quietly for the last time.

(Women)
Take a large bean bag and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for nine months. Now remove 10 of the beans. Try not to notice your closet full of clothes. You wont be wearing them for a while.


Shopping Test
Bowwow one or two small animals, such as goats, ferrets or Tasmanian devils, and take them with you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

Warn-Off Test
Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their method of bringing their child up, including patience, discipline, table manners and toilet training. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you have all the answers.

[Boo]

OMFG that is spectacular! yay you!

[Excel Zero]

That's precisely why I can't be a daddy yet!

End of line

Excel

[Kiyomi]

LMAO! That's too perfect! That's also why I do daycare and don't have my own kids...with daycare kids, I hand them back at the end of the day!

[Zzyxx]

wow... that's just....wow

[RivaOni]

[BWS-1]

I definitly can't be a dad yet *sigh

...

But I sure could run a daycare center!

[Kiyomi]

[Chixiethepixie]

im hopeless as i just sit in the middle of the floor and laugh when Rach undresses herself-Riva just stares at me-its so cute when she takes her socks off and puts them in her mouth and then crawls off-MAD CHILD=MADDER PARENTS