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Ode to the Nice Guys |
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KiSin
Reality's Exiled
Gender: 
Joined: 12 Oct 2004 |
 Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2005 3:35 am Post subject: Ode to the Nice Guys |
I don't truely know where this belongs. Move it to the apropriate place if needed.
| Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003 wrote: | This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming. |
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Damion
Senior Otaku
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Joined: 30 Sep 2004 |
| Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2005 3:43 am Post subject: |
I gave up being a nice guy when I lost my patience with the human race. See if you can guess why. |
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Beaten by a stereotypical stoic mercenary. >.< |
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Yunni
Is a broken record.
Gender: 
Joined: 15 Jul 2005 |
| Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2005 10:15 am Post subject: |
Eh... I just hope I'm not the type of girl that article describes : / |
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ROY RAIBOOOOU!! (> ^ o^)> ~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Zinka
Otaku Knight
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Joined: 28 Sep 2004 |
| Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2005 10:26 am Post subject: |
| Yunni wrote: | | Eh... I just hope I'm not the type of girl that article describes : / |
Second that...
I know many guys like that...I hope I don't treat them like that tho. |
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Terin's little sister!
check it:
whenintokyo.blogspot.com
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Shandriz
Your Death Shall be Swift
Gender:
Joined: 28 Sep 2003 |
| Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2005 10:28 am Post subject: |
<3 a beautiful, wonderful piece of theory. I would love to see a lot more of the really amazing guys I know get snatched up. I swear, there are days when I look at some of my guy friends (in a symbolic sense) and have to ask myself how it is possible they are still single.
The good thing, though, is that I can guarantee almost 100% surety that they will one day look back and say "I am so glad I was such a nice guy to those girls. If I hadn't, the girl I love never would have learned how awesome I am, or fallen in love with me for being so awesome." ^^
And believe me, I will be the first to squeal in delight when it does happen for them, and one of the first to do anything I can to helpl them find a decent girl. Because Gaea knows I can locate and despise all the girls out there who are exactly as this thing says-- idiotic b****es. Admittedly, that's still most of them, but finding the good ones is hard even for chicks that just want decent friends, let alone guys who want to date them. ^^
To all my guy friends who are nice guys but haven't finished yet-- thank you. Thank you for all your patience with me, with my friends, with all the other girls out there, even the ones who -are- nice girls but who just aren't compatible with you for another reason. Even though I'm no longer looking (I found myself a nice guy already! ^^) I still appreciate you for who you are. |
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What do you think you've found?
Here...
in this dying world?
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Silver Adept
Otaku Lord
Age: 42
Gender:
Joined: 20 May 2003 |
| Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2005 10:42 am Post subject: |
That's an interesting piece. An inspiring one for the nice guys, I hope. As someone who's been on the receiving end of that sort of phenomenon (I've been told that I'm such a great guy, and she wondered why I don't have girls lining up to date me), I can't explain it either. I don't think that girls choose jerks intentionally, but I can understand a little bit about why they would want to keep good friendships together and not risk possible destruction by adding romance to it. (Had that happen to me, too - toasted a good friendship by even merely mentioning that I thought a friend was worth dating)
Still, a salute to all the nice guys who are as that article says - you help make sure that the field is available for everyone. And eventually, you'll get yours, too. (Hey, we have to believe that, or else we'll be depressed.) |
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Sir Silver Adept, KCI. Check out the Knights of Jubal if you want to revive chivalrous behavior.
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Blackmage
Intragalactic Acquisitions Agent Mew
Gender:
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 |
| Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2005 11:26 am Post subject: |
Very very nice piece, I know how all of that feels. I've often got the whole "but your so nice why don't you have a girlfriend?" question from girls so often and I just look at them confused. Every relationship until the one I;ve been in has just been horrible for one reason or another and I've always hated that. Always been so good at holding others relationships together while never really having any of my own or ones that fall apart as qucikly as they started. I'm overly happy with who I have now and I hope things always stay that way. |
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Chain Saw (Saw)
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Girkon
Chop Chop Fiend
Gender:
Joined: 29 Sep 2004 |
| Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2005 12:40 pm Post subject: |
It's all good. Worry not for the niceness of what others see you as, but for how you feel when you know you've done good. I say hurrah for all the nice guys. Cause let's face it, where would the world be without us around.
On that note...still single and any single women who see this.....help  |
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Yunni
Is a broken record.
Gender:
Joined: 15 Jul 2005 |
| Posted: Sat Nov 19, 2005 7:52 pm Post subject: |
The thing is with me, I have more male friends than female friends, and that has always been the case because that's just the way I am. I've always been 'one of the lads'. It's extremely uncomfortable to find out a person you've seen as a friend, likes you more than just as a friend, mainly because I don't want to lose the friendship. On the other hand, I find it very irritating when the friend gets all hissy and insulted when I tell them I am not interrested in anything other than friendship. If a girl is nice to a guy, it doesn't mean they want to become involved romantically. I am honest about this, I try my hardest to not give a guy the wrong idea - its so cruel.
People probably don't want to admit it, but sex is probably what attracts the girls to the 'bad guys'. Bad guys = good sex, I think its a steriotype that too many people have stuck in their heads. It's a load of crappy, as I am very sure that a lot of kind fellows are rather good in the sack, but there is the danger of a girl not even thinking of their nice male friend in that way once they have a friendship. |
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ROY RAIBOOOOU!! (> ^ o^)> ~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Silver Adept
Otaku Lord
Age: 42
Gender:
Joined: 20 May 2003 |
| Posted: Sun Nov 20, 2005 12:09 pm Post subject: |
Might be that a lot of nice guys start thinking romantically about their girl friends because they've gotten to see what they're like, inside and out, and are making decisions on a more complete picture, rather than having to go out and see whether J. Random Miss is compatible with them. It's not laziness, per se, but why risk heartbreaks on the outside world when you've got girls that you think you'd do well with that you already know?
A lot of nice guys are very good at risk assessment - they've seen what happens with various tactics and techniques, and they'd rather avoid the pitfalls that they've been patching up in everyone else's life. It could be a sort of paralyzing cowardice - if you've watched relationships fall apart, you may not want to risk having it happen to you.
So those might be a couple reasons why the ncie guys don't have girlfriends. |
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Sir Silver Adept, KCI. Check out the Knights of Jubal if you want to revive chivalrous behavior.
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Wins 293 - Losses 240
Level 23 |
EXP: 2163
HP: 3375
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STR: 1125
END: 1125
ACC: 1225
AGI: 1225
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Sander's Asylum (Partisan)
(505 - 655) |
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