| Author |
Message |
PO Info |
 |
Daijaga
Chosen of Luck
Gender: 
Joined: 17 Dec 2003 |
 Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 6:39 pm Post subject: Whats wrong with modern literture.... |
Is teachers like this.
This is, by the way, ridiculously hlarious.
| Quote: | Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix:
The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, so sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent.
There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."
The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary.
THE STORY:
(first paragraph by Rebecc! a) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
(second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo n! amed Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
(Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abol! ishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
(Gary ) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congr! ess had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.
(Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
(Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels
(Rebecca) A**hole.
(Gary) B* $ ch
(Rebecca) F__K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!
(Gary) Go drink some tea - whore.
(TEACHER) A+ - I really liked this one.
|
|
|
|
|
 |
 |
Wins 27 - Losses 38
Level 7 |
EXP: 6469
HP: 2453
 |
STR: 1013
END: 720
ACC: 611
AGI: 756
|
Kaledescope (Mace)
(170 - 510) |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
ScrumYummy
bunnyhunches of scrums
Gender: 
Joined: 29 Jun 2005 |
| Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 7:14 pm Post subject: |
*The above post has been appoved of a ROFLbanger and three "OMGWTFLOL"s. |
_________________
-Scrum-
..it borked. :D |
|
|
|
 |
Wins 23 - Losses 22
Level 7 |
EXP: 2313
HP: 2241
|
STR: 779
END: 731
ACC: 795
AGI: 795
|
Totem Doll (Sword)
(320 - 360) |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Blackmage
Intragalactic Acquisitions Agent Mew
Gender:
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 |
| Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 1:47 am Post subject: |
rofl
thast great! |
_________________
I'm not a pirate I'm an acquisitions agent and salvage specialist. |
|
|
|
 |
Wins 88 - Losses 123
Level 16 |
EXP: 12559
HP: 2320
|
STR: 1320
END: 500
ACC: 1090
AGI: 1090
|
Chain Saw (Saw)
(440 - 510) |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
~Tsuki~
Resident Book Worm
Gender:
Joined: 30 Sep 2003 |
| Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 11:45 am Post subject: |
ROFL!! omg  Thats great! |
_________________
|
|
|
|
 |
Wins 27 - Losses 18
Level 8 |
EXP: 2283
HP: 2350
|
STR: 750
END: 800
ACC: 775
AGI: 875
|
Katana no Yume (Sword)
(305 - 405) |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Silver Adept
Otaku Lord
Age: 41
Gender:
Joined: 20 May 2003 |
| Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 12:20 pm Post subject: |
Hehe. In high school, I have no doubt that could be a true story rather than a fiction. |
_________________
Sir Silver Adept, KCI. Check out the Knights of Jubal if you want to revive chivalrous behavior.
 |
|
|
|
 |
Wins 293 - Losses 240
Level 23 |
EXP: 2163
HP: 3375
|
STR: 1125
END: 1125
ACC: 1225
AGI: 1225
|
Sander's Asylum (Partisan)
(505 - 655) |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
K-chan
Murr!
Gender:
Joined: 23 Nov 2004 |
| Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 10:29 pm Post subject: |
OMG, this is the best thing ever. |
_________________
Do not touch my cheetos!
 |
|
|
|
 |
Wins 43 - Losses 30
Level 10 |
EXP: 1125
HP: 2525
|
STR: 825
END: 850
ACC: 850
AGI: 875
|
Pooky (Blades)
(355 - 415) |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Terin
Huzzah!
Gender:
Joined: 27 Oct 2003 |
| Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 9:50 am Post subject: |
haha, favorite part
"Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING TEA???"
classic
-T |
|
|
|
|
 |
Wins 41 - Losses 57
Level 10 |
EXP: 4282
HP: 2330
|
STR: 850
END: 740
ACC: 1000
AGI: 710
|
Magnificent Mace of 1000 Misses (Mace)
(370 - 400) |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Legend
Queen of Terabithia
Age: 41
Gender:
Joined: 14 Oct 2005 |
| Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 10:36 am Post subject: |
xDDDDDD Beautiful. Simply beautiful. They definitely would have gotten an A from me as well if I were a teacher sort. ^_^ |
_________________
Close your eyes, but keep your Mind wide open.
If Everyone Cared, and Nobody Cried
If Everyone Loved, and Nobody Lied
If Everyone Shared, and Swallowed Their Pride
We'd see the Day Nobody Died.
|
|
|
|
 |
Wins 18 - Losses 18
Level 6 |
EXP: 3938
HP: 2325
|
STR: 775
END: 775
ACC: 675
AGI: 675
|
P.M.S Standard (Shotgun)
(300 - 320) |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Akanari
Owns your reality
Gender:
Joined: 29 Sep 2004 |
| Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 7:25 pm Post subject: |
Ow. I fell out of my chair. Because that is too funny. The teacher was probably laughing at them the whole time.
I'm still laughing. 
My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
That was my favorite part. ; |
_________________
Our freedom is consuming itself,
What we will become is contrary to what we want
Take a bow. |
|
|
|
 |
Wins 46 - Losses 45
Level 10 |
EXP: 5098
HP: 2225
|
STR: 775
END: 725
ACC: 925
AGI: 975
|
Crown of Thorns (Partisan)
(305 - 465) |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Kugyou
Katori Shintaro!
Age: 44
Gender:
Joined: 26 Sep 2005 |
| Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 8:30 pm Post subject: |
All I can say is that I shall have some other sort of F--KING TEA, then. Love it. |
_________________
CI, Eqvites Ivbalis, Order of the Knights of Jubal
"It is the end of days, and I am the reaper." --Alessa
 |
|
|
|
 |
Wins 26 - Losses 24
Level 8 |
EXP: 2375
HP: 2300
|
STR: 700
END: 800
ACC: 800
AGI: 800
|
Hidden Hell (spikes) (Saw)
(240 - 440) |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
