I don't want to go anywhere for THANKSGIVING

FawkesFyre

I'm feeling trapped into the plans w/ both parents of my fiance...the weekend b4 Thanksgiving we are expected at his dad's...not a big deal being that this isn't on the actual holiday...but then we are supposed to go down to some place in South Ga to meet up w/ his mom and some others at a hunting lodge on Thanksgiving Day...and that would be till like Sunday!

Nothing has even been mentioned about my own family (except that they declined the invitation to come along) and the more details i hear about the big trek, the less I want to go. I don't hunt...I'm afraid of guns and have no desire to see a bunch of dead animals. I don't want to go out in the middle of nowhere, especially since the big thing out out are Alligators! I guess it boils down to the fact that I'm a suburban city kid who isn't used to the great outdoors. Granted, I'm not a stuck up little brat who poo poos on small town life but, its just not my thing. And I feel out of place there.

I just don't know what to do w/o hurting him...not to mention what we'll end up doing for Christmas...

RivaOni · Full English! Age: 41 Gender: Joined: 24 Sep 2002

Talk to him, tell him how you feel, tell him its not the company, but say that you want Thaknsgiving to be you and him.

We dont have Thanksgiving over here but Christmas (as you've already pointed out) is just as bad.

I dont live anywhere near my parents so they dont expect visits or anything like that, but my Dads coming up next weekend to drop gifts off and to see Charly, Myself and our little girl Rachael, and my mums planning on coming down soon too (their seperated) my older sister would like to come down but shes going through a veru busy work period (shes a social worker working on first response under the child protection unit) as is my brother (whos a painter and decorator).

It used to be that we used to go to Charlys Grandads with her mum and brothers, but that side of the family has completely split up, we're still going to Charlys Grandads, but the others aren't invited (which is good as there'll be no month long fall outs, just a big eternal one it seems)

FawkesFyre · Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 5:07 pm Post subject:

I just don't like to travel during the holidays...traffic is always horrible and my mom worries so much.

He'll go regardless...especially since he really wants to go. He'll be meeting some of his new step-siblings.

I'd feel really bad if he had to go alone...but yet I don't want to go.

I don't know what to do...I haven't even told my mom about all this yet either...I hate this....

Doot · Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 5:08 pm Post subject:

I've been in a similar spot.

I've actually split off to have the holiday with my family - if you are anything like me, even though they may be local I don't get to see them a whole lot.

If a large get together isn't feasible (with both yours and his families) then I say sit it out with your folks.

If you live with your fiance then you see a ton of him anyway and it's ok.

Here's what I've done to keep everything kosher:

Get the holiday planning ball rolling early! Ask your folks what they are doing. Ask your fiance to get the info from his family. I typically give first dibs on who gets back to me the fastest. Also, my hubby's family is scattered. his parents are divorced so we have two holiday parties just on his side alone.

Thank god for Christmas eve. It helps lessen the strain on the holiday by allowing you the option of an evening get together with one side and a morning of Christmas with another.

Just look at it this way - once you guys get married it becomes logistically baffling so my advice at that point would be to host it yourself and have them come to you!

Feel free to pepper me with more needs of advice on splitting up your holiday time! I love troubleshooting!

FawkesFyre · Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 5:23 pm Post subject:

Alas, prior planning is a concept that both sides of his family NEVER seem to use. Their definition of such is maybe the day before. Its a sheer toss-up as to whether his mom or his dad is worse at this. My mom is just open to whatever.

He has the mindset that a trek to the GA/FL/SC border is no big deal. I'd guess its around a 5-6 hour drive since we live in Marietta.

Logistically, my mom and grandma lives the closest, and I see a lot of them...but its still a holiday. His Dad is in LaGrainge (apx. 2 hrs SW), his Mom lives in Menlo (apx 2 hrs N).

We'd be going to somewhere north of Jesup...which is just about to the GA/FL/SC border in the swamp. (which is where his mom is originally from as well as her new husband. She's evenually moving back there.

Me hosting anything would only work as a maybe for Christmas...not now...plus that would mean a massive house-cleaning (we're both pigs)

Doot · Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 5:53 pm Post subject:

I feel your pain. It's never too late to start the plan ball rolling. I'm usually a roll with it type of person but when it comes to the holidays I want to lock down folks quickly.

A 5 hour trip during the holidays and only for one day is tiring. I recently did one at a non-holiday time and it was exhausting even though it was fun.

Nono no I meant you hosting it POST marriage. Wink

It flies easier that way. Smile

FawkesFyre · Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 6:02 pm Post subject:

I could still do something for Christmas...plus it would shut my mom up over the fact that I never let them come over...she's a neat freak. On a day the house was pretty neat and clean, she stuck her head in and Shocked

saw an overturned bag of garbage in the kitchen, thus dubbing the house a "pig sty". (The cats got nosey)

Yet, the funny thing is that she claims the house doesn't have to be perfect for them to come over---uhm that's a load of BS.

I'm hoping things will finally settle down into a cleaner and less cluttered house once my fiance fully moves in...we're gradually moving stuff over from his apartment.

Back on topic...the basic idea thus far is to head down on Thanksgiving day and then come back Sunday...I am SO not liking this plan...especially since we both have to at work the next day!

Doot · Posted: Wed Nov 08, 2006 8:11 am Post subject:

Yeah always allow yourself one recoop day from travelling, even if it's in state.

You should never be dreading the Holidays. Sad

I mean, c'mon! Stuff our faces with turkeyand pies. MMMMMMMMMMM.

FawkesFyre · Posted: Wed Nov 08, 2006 11:49 am Post subject:

Its starting to look up just a little now. He brought me some pictures of what it looks like...its really pretty. Bunches of old Oak trees with Spanish moss hanging all over the place. And we'd be in cabins, so that kinda helps me with the security part of this.

I may see if I can negotiate w/ him on the departure time though. He wants to leave home the morning of Turkey Day then leave down there on Sunday. I can deal with the Monday morning stuff (by just going in late...my boss is in Washington) but he'd have to be at work @8AM...but I suppose that's his problem. I may actually be happy w/ all of this if we can go down the on Friday instead and maybe hang out w/ my family for Turkey day.

Can anybody tell me what Gator tastes like? I don't want any surprises since I've never had it before.

Satine · Evil Onigiri Age: 37 Gender: Joined: 29 Sep 2004

Seriously, gator tastes a lot like chicken. I kid you not. It's a slightly different texture and flavor, but it's very mild. I like my gator fried. Yum yum yum.
I feel your pain with the holiday thing. My parents aren't divorced and I don't have a significant other, but the utter chaos drives me mad. Plus I can only stand to be around my family for so long until I go off my rocker.