To March Forth

Ming · DOOM! Gender: Joined: 13 Jan 2003

I really don't know what to say, so I'll just start off blunt. Last Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving, Tobs' and my dad lost his 2+ year battle with cancer and passed away. Between all that has been going on since, it's been tough to take the time to post this, but it's been in the back of my mind.

It's funny, actually. You can prepare yourself so much for the inevitable, but when that time comes, it hits you like a sack of bricks. But it's also funny how you can surprise yourself with how you act. Strangely, I'm actually doing ok. I suppose it's because I've spent the past year home with my dad, taking care of him and keeping him company. I had that time to grive and be sad, and when he passed, I knew in my heart that he would want me to remain strong so that I could take card of my brother and my mom.

We held a wake yesterday, and had a funeral today, and one of the things that helped me and my family so much was to see just how many people came out to pay their respects to my father, and to see how much they really cared for and loved him, and I feel honored and privelleged to be his son. It's because of my dad that I, and my brother, are the people that we are today.

I also feel comforted in the fact that my dad was such a great man, and that he is no longer suffering. And I take solace in the fact that he died just how he lived, surrounded by his family. My mom always used to say that my dad was the strongest man in the world, and now I realize that. He fought a disease for 2+ years. A disease that claims a lot of its victims in mere months.

But don't get me wrong, I still miss him terribly. My dad was my idol and my hero. There were so many things that I wished we could have done together. I wanted him there for my wedding day. I wanted him there for when I had kids. I wanted him there when I bought my first car by myself, and my first house, and when I started my own business. I wish that we had had the chance to have a martini and a cigar together, just how he liked. And I wish that we would have had the chance to go on a cruise together.

But with my loss comes my great responsibility. The responsibility to take care of my brother and my mom, and the responsibility to carry on his spirit. To be the life of the party, the best dancer, the best martini maker, and the guy you always go to when you need to hear a good joke (usually dirty!). I can only hope that I continue to grow and to be at least half the man that he was. Those are some pretty big shoes, so I guess I should get started right away.

My dad's birthday was March 4, and he always used to say that he remembered it by saying that you have to "March forth...". After reflecting on it, I now realize how important that is and what it meant. I know that I have to raise my head up high, celebrate my dad's life, and march forth....

Thanks for listening.

Fernando "Fred" Dominguez
March 4, 1950 - November 22, 2006

underpants · awesome sauce! Age: 41 Gender: Joined: 07 Jul 2004

Most eloquently said.

I love you, tobs, liza, mom, and your dad.

We will March forth....

Rest in Peace and always shine your light down upon us. We love you, Fred.

Blackmage · Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 12:52 am Post subject:

You and Tobs have my condolances about your loss, I know also with my grandmother what it's like to have one loved one lost to cancer and the peace of mind that they are no longer suffering. If either of you feel like talking about it or anything else in general, you know what to do.

Venus · PO Skirtdropper Gender: Joined: 19 Sep 2004

I too lost a parent..my stepfather passed away the day before thanksgiving in 2004..it was hard but I knew in my heart that he wasnt suffering anymore and he was in a better place...so that kept me from being too beaten up over it..nonetheless it still hurt very bad and i still remember everything the way it happened. But im glad that your father is dancing away with my stepfather..and you have mine and david's condolances. Stay strong guys...

Tobias · *explodes* Age: 38 Gender: Joined: 17 Jan 2003

its hard, really, when something like this happens. There's only so much we can do. But i think we're doing it fine.

I should say Andy, that while you think you have to fill in his shoes, he never wanted you to do that. He wanted you to make your own path in life, as he wanted me to do. He won't be with us when we both get married, or when we have kids, but he's ever a part of us. He'll always live on in our hearts, and he's already sharing that Cigar that we gave him with God.

Everyone, take the time to go find your folk(s), and give em a hug. Let em know that, despite whatever differences that you guys may have, or what arguments you may have undergone, there's always love deep down, since you are what you were: Your folks are where you come from, and what make you who you are. Remember that with my Dad, and with us.

Not much else i can say, but to March Forth. He would have wanted me and andy to do that. I don't plan on doing anything differently.

I love you dad, more than anything in the world. I hope I made you proud today, and that I make you proud all days.

~That is all

Skylah · Hips Don't Lie Gender: Joined: 25 Mar 2003

My sincere condolence to Tobs and you.. my prayer will be with him.. Amen..

Doot · Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 7:18 am Post subject:

Andy and Mike.

You both are lucky to have had quite an amazing man to guide you through defining years in your life. I never met your dad, but I feel I have through knowing you and if anything, you both live up to that testament that he was a wonderful. caring and entertaining person.

Andy, as an eldest who lost her mother to the eldest who lost his father, it's ingrained in us to pick up the reigns and become the statue head for what may be missing, but remember, he's never missing. There is always reflection and memories you will use through the rest of your life that will help guide you. Your father is your father, and you Andy, are you. He would want you to be just that, Andy Dominguez who he raised to be a thoughtful, kind, humorous, responsible and all around likable man. He has left his legacy in you and you live it already. It's still hard to loosen your grip on those reigns but in time you will see. I promise.

Mike, no words could have been better said than for everyone to cherish their folks. What everyone sometimes forgets is that our folks are our heritage. They are our connection to who we are and we should always make the effort to understand they have had our lives in their hands for so long that they have defined us. The grandest thing about events such as this is your dad is everywhere. In a song. In a fragrance. In a joke. You will see him everywhere you go. And he will see you. And I'm certain he is proud of you for being so strong and utilizing his words "March Forth" to the fullest extent.

To both of you. You will advance in your lives and get the dream job, and get married, have children and every other major life event. Please allow yourself the time to grieve in those times, if only for a little bit, to sate your human need for parental validation. But then smile, because he is with you always and ever step you take on your path in life will be blessed with an angel that truly does wish the best for you all.

I love you guys. And I love your father. Without him, I know our lives would not have been so rich.

Kudasai Hiroki · Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 7:37 am Post subject:

I can't say much that hasn't already been said. I am sorry for both of you for your loss.

Silver Adept · Otaku Lord Age: 41 Gender: Joined: 20 May 2003

We're sorry for your loss. Take the time you need to grieve and to say your goodbyes. Hopefully, when the time is right, you'll be able to march forth and be sure that he's smiling, having a cigar, and waving you on to your own lives.

Reverend · I kin Age: 41 Gender: Joined: 21 Oct 2002

The lives he touched were many, and I still feel his touch on mine.

I'll be with you both every step of the way that I can be.

Namaste