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graphic friend being hospitalized :( graphic
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Amberhosen
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 10:56 pm    Post subject: friend being hospitalized :(

a dear friend of mine is being put in the hospital for depression and being suicidal. even though he's depressed because he's lonely and has good friends and a good girlfriend at school that he didn't have the last time this happened. his fucking parents think it's the best thing for him because it worked last time. and I don't know what to do. he's going to be all alone except for his family and a bunch of fucking stupid doctors to try to make him not depressed, and I'm scared for him. I don't really even know what he did to spawn their worry over him, but I hope to god he doesn't do anything stupid. I'm not looking for any responses, because they wont help, but keep allan in your hearts, in the hope that he'll make it through this and not be robbed of what little good he has going in his life. thank you

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Shino
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:45 am    Post subject:

All you can do right now is step back and do your best to support him in any way you can. Keep in touch with him somehow.

Write letters maybe? Do you have a way to keep up with him?

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FawkesFyre
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 6:17 pm    Post subject:

I agree with Shino...find a way to keep in contact with him. You don't know what he did for his parrents to send him back...and most likely you won't find out until after the fact...just focus on doing whatever you can to stay in touch with him. Get his friends and his girlfriend together and send him bulk communications...whatever they'll allow.

If this really is too extreme of a treatment for him, he'll need you all to help him get better and get out that much faster with your support.

Stand by your firend and give him something to be motivated about to get out of there.

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Amberhosen
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 7:58 pm    Post subject:

his parents have decreed that no one is to know where he is, i'm not supposed to know, and all contact with him is monitored so theres no way to contact him. so he's gonna think no one gives a shit cause we CANT talk to him in any way

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FawkesFyre
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 8:04 pm    Post subject:

I don't know what to tell ya...can you talk to his parents and explain that you'd like to keep in touch w/ him to show your support?

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Amberhosen
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 8:15 pm    Post subject:

haha, if word gets out that anyone knows, they wont even let his girlfriend see him, the only one who they will let near him. they complain that the last time this happened all his friends abandoned him cause no one knew, and now they're doing the same damn thing to him

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FawkesFyre
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 29, 2006 8:34 pm    Post subject:

Well, if the girlfriend can still see him, make sure she does her part in letting him know you're all there for him when he gets out.

I don't know how this sort of situation works but can he request contact w/ his friends?...at least after being there for a certain amount of time?

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 1:27 pm    Post subject:

If his girlfriend is the only one that can see him, then she hopefully is willing to play pack mule for the rest of you when it comes to letters and communications.

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Graillik Tur
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 10:03 pm    Post subject:

Let the doctors do their job. It's fine to be concerned, but it's probably going to take a long time and a lot of work to help this person. There is a reason they are isolating them, it's because they don't want an unknown outside factor to trigger a negative response until they can figure out what is causing the suicidal thoughts.

Please understand, you just have to keep faith and hope. I've had to go through this with someone very close and it can tear you apart. There really isn't a right answer or a right thing to do. Just step back and let the payed pros do their best, and keep giving the GF letters and cards, if the docs allow.

Just keep your head up.

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shadokastur
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 01, 2006 1:22 am    Post subject:

Amberhosen wrote:
haha, if word gets out that anyone knows, they wont even let his girlfriend see him, the only one who they will let near him. they complain that the last time this happened all his friends abandoned him cause no one knew, and now they're doing the same damn thing to him


Here's an idea: It's a little cheesy but hear me out.

Write a letter to him every so often and do one of 2 things:

1) Address them to him but send them to your address and when you get them don't open them and give them to him when he gets out with a hug of support. It'll mean a lot.

-or-

2) Send them to his house and if his parents ask what you're doing tell them to please hold onto them until Allan is released and is feeling better. You could even write this as a little note on the outside of the envelope sparing the details to preserve the family's dignity.

Either way i think it will help you too in this time and show your friend Allan that your friendship means a lot to you. Maybe it's too much and maybe it's as much as you're able to do but either way it can be very meaningful and mutually therapeutic. Consider it.


REY

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