I'm the unluckiest man alive.

[Shurikane]

Thursday: Join a Battlefield game, realize I'm put on a team with twice as many wins as the other team. Played 4 games. Lost them all.


Friday: Join a game. I'm the odd-number player so I get to choose the team. I side with the winning team. Their Titan shield is only down to 75% while the enemy's down to 25%. We lost.

Next game, this time the defenders on Cerbere Landing with about 150 tickets versus 60. Enemy somehow manages to win.

I disconnect and join another game. The minute I join in, I hear "Our Titan is destroyed!"


Saturday: I realize I've been put on a team with a perfect 18/0 record. Their Titan shield was down 50% while the enemy team's hull was down to 25%. The minute I join in, we lose all our silos and get ridiculously raped.

Next map, Cerbere Landing, defending again. The match ends in two minutes flat with the enemy taking every single control point.

Cerbere Landing, attacking. We don't even get to take a single flag. Well, actually, we managed to sneak to the far back at the enemy base and neutralise the flag but that's pretty much all we managed to do before the enemy arrived en masse and raped us.

Next map, Verdun Titan. We're toe to toe for a while, until the shields go down. We have about 10 men on our Titan and we somehow manage to lose all our consoles and the core. There are 3 men on the enemy Titan and make a perfect defense.


I once spent a full 15 seconds behind an immobile guy, trying to knife it. As I started my 7th swing, he turned around and headshot me with his sniper rifle.

Duel of guns on the open road: I encounter an enemy support. I switch my newbie AR to single fire mode, kneel down and begin firing. My opponent does the same except he sprays and prays with his Bianchi LMG. I die in a single shot.

I rush-and-knife someone from behind. For a reason still unknown to me, I pass through him, and then he shoots me in the back with his AR.


Somebody kill me, please!!!

[Gryph]

I call shenanigans!

[Blackmage]

play commander!

[Shurikane]

[Silver Adept]

Ow. Utterly bad luck there, Shuri, assuming people are haxx0ring. Hopefully, you get better luck in the future.

[BWS-1]

Play with bots.

No lag;
No disobedience;
No shenanigans.

Bots. It's the only choice.

[Blackmage]

I haven't played BF with bots since the 1942 days, with Zach, Andy, and myself.

[Terin]

I dunno Shuri... Shino can be pretty damn unlucky sometimes... at least he doesn't have a Wiimote sticking out of his TV...
-T

[Shurikane]

SUNDAY'S MORNING LOG

---Join a game towards the end of a Conquest map, which is on a surefire win: 150 tickets for us, 50 tickets for the enemy. I join a competent and structured squad, and we manage to end the game with a comfortable lead.

Next game: Minsk Titan. My squad mysteriously loses all its intelligence. Despite the exact same members, my leader ceases to give orders at all, the squad is spread all over the place, our commander doesn't have a mike, and in the most unbelievably stupid act I've ever seen, I see an enemy podding down from a passing chopper to cap a silo, and there's no one to defend it except a tank, and myself on second seat. I see an enemy at my right, say "Threat spotted!" straight towards the silo. No reaction. I spam it until I get blocked. Result: the dumbass tank driver TURNS LEFT AND RUNS AWAY FROM IT. We got humiliated before even taking the enemy shields down.


---I disconnect and choose another game. I arrive in a 48-man map populated by 8 players just as the enemy Titan shield goes down. With one recon per corridor, we get the enemy Titan with little trouble.

Next map: Shuhia Taiba Titan. I create a squad named "VoIP" and nobody joins. My commander doesn't have a mike either. The silo colors are a mosaic. They turn blue red and gray in less time than it takes to say the color name. The squads are all completely disorganized. I keep spamming "Need Repairs" for my tank in the presence of three engineers and nobody reacts. I plant 3 RDX packs on the rear of an enemy tank and it doesn't blow up. Hell, at one point, I used an ammo box to plant about 15 demopacks around a silo, in a pattern wide enough to catch any and all infantry and/or vehicle in a 6 ft radius. As soon as I hear we've lost the silo, I check my map to see if nobody's around, and push the button... Not a single kill. Happens 5 times in a row. Numerous times, I approach someone from the rear, my knife doesn't register a hit, nor even a hit sound, and the guy turns around and frags me. Eventually, everyone went Titan defense, leaving every single silo to the enemy and us losing while the enemy still has almost all its hull left.



MONDAY WOES

-Join an 8 player game on Cerbere landing and watch as, despite us losing in a most humiliating way, our commander scores 30 points flat. I call commander next round, get it... and all of a sudden, the server fills to capacity, and we destroy the enemy by taking but few control points and holding on to them for the rest of the round. I get 23 points before multiplication. No Conquest Commander Badge today.

-Spawned on a Claymore.

-Spawned right in front of an enemy soldier, at arm's length and facing away from him. Before I even reach for my keys to move, I get knifed.

-Spawned on the front deck of Titan, run towards a pod chute AND THE CHOPPER SPAWNS ON TOP OF ME.

-Join a game on Suez Canal Titan. I create a squad called "VoIP". Out of my 5 squadmates, only two actually speak and hear what I say. The same two then camp the enemy Titan, but no console gets destroyed... I pod up there to see what's up, and watch in horror as those two guys proceed to n00b-rush the enemy Titan corridor again and again, each time getting destroyed by Claymores, RDX packs, or both. Figuring there's nothing to lose, I peek inside the corridor at the cost of an obvious death, and see that the corridor is heavily guarded by four enemy soldiers. Despite my orders, the two guys stay and keep on n00b-rushing. Somehow, they don't need my pleas that we should just stick to protecting the silo or at least wait for the defensemen to get bored.


Mom actually came downstairs tonight and wondered why I kept yelling "FUCK!!!" She then proceeded to take a holier than thou attitude and proclaim that she never gets mad. I wanted to fucking deck her.

[Girkon]

Wow, methinks the gamer rage is gettin to ya a bit. Although that really is a lot of bad luck, it's good to know when it's time to hang up the mous and take a breather from all that misfortune.