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graphic I'm the unluckiest man alive. graphic
Author Message PO Info
Shurikane
Dim Panties As String




Joined: 24 Sep 2002
PostPosted: Sat Dec 09, 2006 10:07 pm    Post subject: I'm the unluckiest man alive.

Thursday: Join a Battlefield game, realize I'm put on a team with twice as many wins as the other team. Played 4 games. Lost them all.


Friday: Join a game. I'm the odd-number player so I get to choose the team. I side with the winning team. Their Titan shield is only down to 75% while the enemy's down to 25%. We lost.

Next game, this time the defenders on Cerbere Landing with about 150 tickets versus 60. Enemy somehow manages to win.

I disconnect and join another game. The minute I join in, I hear "Our Titan is destroyed!"


Saturday: I realize I've been put on a team with a perfect 18/0 record. Their Titan shield was down 50% while the enemy team's hull was down to 25%. The minute I join in, we lose all our silos and get ridiculously raped.

Next map, Cerbere Landing, defending again. The match ends in two minutes flat with the enemy taking every single control point.

Cerbere Landing, attacking. We don't even get to take a single flag. Well, actually, we managed to sneak to the far back at the enemy base and neutralise the flag but that's pretty much all we managed to do before the enemy arrived en masse and raped us.

Next map, Verdun Titan. We're toe to toe for a while, until the shields go down. We have about 10 men on our Titan and we somehow manage to lose all our consoles and the core. There are 3 men on the enemy Titan and make a perfect defense.


I once spent a full 15 seconds behind an immobile guy, trying to knife it. As I started my 7th swing, he turned around and headshot me with his sniper rifle.

Duel of guns on the open road: I encounter an enemy support. I switch my newbie AR to single fire mode, kneel down and begin firing. My opponent does the same except he sprays and prays with his Bianchi LMG. I die in a single shot.

I rush-and-knife someone from behind. For a reason still unknown to me, I pass through him, and then he shoots me in the back with his AR.


Somebody kill me, please!!! Crying or Very sad

_________________
Gopher it.


"Remember when /b/ was good?"
"/b/ was never good."
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Wins 24 - Losses 32
Level 8
EXP: 2375
HP: 2550
Eligible for battle!
STR: 1050
END: 750
ACC: 800
AGI: 600
Graduate's Windbuster (Sword)
(230 - 480)
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Gryph
Pocket Convoy



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 26 Sep 2002
PostPosted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 12:39 am    Post subject:

I call shenanigans!

_________________

*Begin cool theme song*
Super! *pose*
Sentai! *pose*
Gryphman! *pose some more with lotsa neat special fx in the bg*
*End cool theme song*
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Wins 7 - Losses 5
Level 5
EXP: 125
HP: 2400
Eligible for battle!
STR: 400
END: 1000
ACC: 1000
AGI: 500
Gryph Bustah (Gun)
(200 - 420)
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Blackmage
Intragalactic Acquisitions Agent Mew



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 02 Feb 2004
PostPosted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 1:03 am    Post subject:

play commander!

_________________
I'm not a pirate I'm an acquisitions agent and salvage specialist.
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Wins 88 - Losses 123
Level 16
EXP: 12559
HP: 2320
Eligible for battle!
STR: 1320
END: 500
ACC: 1090
AGI: 1090
Chain Saw (Saw)
(440 - 510)
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Shurikane
Dim Panties As String




Joined: 24 Sep 2002
PostPosted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 9:35 am    Post subject:

Blackmage wrote:
play commander!


Ahhhhhhhhh-hahahahahahaha.

Picture this scenario. It happened last time I played commander:

I gave an order to a squad to attack a flag. They say yes... and then turn around and RUN away from it.

_________________
Gopher it.


"Remember when /b/ was good?"
"/b/ was never good."
Reply with quote
Wins 24 - Losses 32
Level 8
EXP: 2375
HP: 2550
Eligible for battle!
STR: 1050
END: 750
ACC: 800
AGI: 600
Graduate's Windbuster (Sword)
(230 - 480)
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Silver Adept
Otaku Lord


Age: 42
Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 20 May 2003
PostPosted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 1:02 pm    Post subject:

Ow. Utterly bad luck there, Shuri, assuming people are haxx0ring. Hopefully, you get better luck in the future.

_________________
Sir Silver Adept, KCI. Check out the Knights of Jubal if you want to revive chivalrous behavior.
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Wins 293 - Losses 240
Level 23
EXP: 2163
HP: 3375
Eligible for battle!
STR: 1125
END: 1125
ACC: 1225
AGI: 1225
Sander's Asylum (Partisan)
(505 - 655)
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BWS-1
Otaku Lord



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 25 Sep 2002
PostPosted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 2:57 pm    Post subject:

Play with bots.

No lag;
No disobedience;
No shenanigans.

Bots. It's the only choice.

Mr. Green

_________________

KENYA BELEIVE IT!

Q:What year were you born?
A: Yeah.
W.-A. (-workaholics-anonymous-)
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Wins 60 - Losses 39
Level 12
EXP: 5439
HP: 2403
Eligible for battle!
STR: 801
END: 801
ACC: 999
AGI: 999
BWS-1 (Sword)
(415 - 415)
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Blackmage
Intragalactic Acquisitions Agent Mew



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 02 Feb 2004
PostPosted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 6:16 pm    Post subject:

I haven't played BF with bots since the 1942 days, with Zach, Andy, and myself.

_________________
I'm not a pirate I'm an acquisitions agent and salvage specialist.
Reply with quote
Wins 88 - Losses 123
Level 16
EXP: 12559
HP: 2320
Eligible for battle!
STR: 1320
END: 500
ACC: 1090
AGI: 1090
Chain Saw (Saw)
(440 - 510)
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Terin
Huzzah!



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 27 Oct 2003
PostPosted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 7:16 pm    Post subject:

I dunno Shuri... Shino can be pretty damn unlucky sometimes... at least he doesn't have a Wiimote sticking out of his TV...
-T
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Wins 41 - Losses 57
Level 10
EXP: 4282
HP: 2330
Eligible for battle!
STR: 850
END: 740
ACC: 1000
AGI: 710
Magnificent Mace of 1000 Misses (Mace)
(370 - 400)
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Shurikane
Dim Panties As String




Joined: 24 Sep 2002
PostPosted: Mon Dec 11, 2006 10:14 pm    Post subject:

SUNDAY'S MORNING LOG

---Join a game towards the end of a Conquest map, which is on a surefire win: 150 tickets for us, 50 tickets for the enemy. I join a competent and structured squad, and we manage to end the game with a comfortable lead.

Next game: Minsk Titan. My squad mysteriously loses all its intelligence. Despite the exact same members, my leader ceases to give orders at all, the squad is spread all over the place, our commander doesn't have a mike, and in the most unbelievably stupid act I've ever seen, I see an enemy podding down from a passing chopper to cap a silo, and there's no one to defend it except a tank, and myself on second seat. I see an enemy at my right, say "Threat spotted!" straight towards the silo. No reaction. I spam it until I get blocked. Result: the dumbass tank driver TURNS LEFT AND RUNS AWAY FROM IT. We got humiliated before even taking the enemy shields down.


---I disconnect and choose another game. I arrive in a 48-man map populated by 8 players just as the enemy Titan shield goes down. With one recon per corridor, we get the enemy Titan with little trouble.

Next map: Shuhia Taiba Titan. I create a squad named "VoIP" and nobody joins. My commander doesn't have a mike either. The silo colors are a mosaic. They turn blue red and gray in less time than it takes to say the color name. The squads are all completely disorganized. I keep spamming "Need Repairs" for my tank in the presence of three engineers and nobody reacts. I plant 3 RDX packs on the rear of an enemy tank and it doesn't blow up. Hell, at one point, I used an ammo box to plant about 15 demopacks around a silo, in a pattern wide enough to catch any and all infantry and/or vehicle in a 6 ft radius. As soon as I hear we've lost the silo, I check my map to see if nobody's around, and push the button... Not a single kill. Happens 5 times in a row. Numerous times, I approach someone from the rear, my knife doesn't register a hit, nor even a hit sound, and the guy turns around and frags me. Eventually, everyone went Titan defense, leaving every single silo to the enemy and us losing while the enemy still has almost all its hull left.



MONDAY WOES

-Join an 8 player game on Cerbere landing and watch as, despite us losing in a most humiliating way, our commander scores 30 points flat. I call commander next round, get it... and all of a sudden, the server fills to capacity, and we destroy the enemy by taking but few control points and holding on to them for the rest of the round. I get 23 points before multiplication. No Conquest Commander Badge today.

-Spawned on a Claymore.

-Spawned right in front of an enemy soldier, at arm's length and facing away from him. Before I even reach for my keys to move, I get knifed.

-Spawned on the front deck of Titan, run towards a pod chute AND THE CHOPPER SPAWNS ON TOP OF ME.

-Join a game on Suez Canal Titan. I create a squad called "VoIP". Out of my 5 squadmates, only two actually speak and hear what I say. The same two then camp the enemy Titan, but no console gets destroyed... I pod up there to see what's up, and watch in horror as those two guys proceed to n00b-rush the enemy Titan corridor again and again, each time getting destroyed by Claymores, RDX packs, or both. Figuring there's nothing to lose, I peek inside the corridor at the cost of an obvious death, and see that the corridor is heavily guarded by four enemy soldiers. Despite my orders, the two guys stay and keep on n00b-rushing. Somehow, they don't need my pleas that we should just stick to protecting the silo or at least wait for the defensemen to get bored.


Mom actually came downstairs tonight and wondered why I kept yelling "FUCK!!!" She then proceeded to take a holier than thou attitude and proclaim that she never gets mad. I wanted to fucking deck her.

_________________
Gopher it.


"Remember when /b/ was good?"
"/b/ was never good."
Reply with quote
Wins 24 - Losses 32
Level 8
EXP: 2375
HP: 2550
Eligible for battle!
STR: 1050
END: 750
ACC: 800
AGI: 600
Graduate's Windbuster (Sword)
(230 - 480)
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Girkon
Chop Chop Fiend



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 29 Sep 2004
PostPosted: Mon Dec 11, 2006 11:43 pm    Post subject:

Wow, methinks the gamer rage is gettin to ya a bit. Although that really is a lot of bad luck, it's good to know when it's time to hang up the mous and take a breather from all that misfortune.

_________________
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Wins 83 - Losses 79
Level 14
EXP: 10839
HP: 2800
Eligible for battle!
STR: 1000
END: 900
ACC: 800
AGI: 1100
Devils Star (Sword)
(380 - 510)
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