Job Application!

Blackmage · Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 8:45 pm Post subject: Job Application!

Stole from another forum because it's incredibly amusing

This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald’s in Florida… and they hired him.

NAME: Greg Bulmash.

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I’m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

FawkesFyre · Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2007 8:53 pm Post subject:

You can't say he wasn't creative...not to mention entertaining

I would have hired him just to see if he could actually do the job.

BK · undefined Gender: Joined: 20 Oct 2006

I wouldn't hire him for fear that he was being honest.

Suna-chan · Otaku Master Age: 36 Gender: Joined: 22 May 2003

Maybe they were impressed by the use of proper grammar and correct spelling... and the phrase "severance package" :p

Silver Adept · Otaku Lord Age: 41 Gender: Joined: 20 May 2003

An application like that would be one of two things - creative mind or total blow-off. Either way, they'd make it to the in-person interview, just so that I could see which it was.

Marysanna · Junior Otaku Joined: 04 Mar 2003

I'd actually interview him. I'd ask him to fill out another application seriously for the files, but I like someone creative with a good sense of humor. On the other hand, it would be a red flag for a goof off you have to babysit on the job. I'd be sure to let him know what was expected. Someone like that will either be great, or gotten rid of quickly.

reaper · I miss you Shar Gender: Joined: 28 Dec 2002

I have known people who worked at wackarnold's. From the sotries of what they did on the job, and other people who worked there. I really don't think thier management is in a posiontion to be very picky about who they hire lol

Dyess · Junior Otaku Gender: Joined: 27 Sep 2004

Every job needs at least one goof-ball