Please go to sleep!!!

[RivaOni]

Chixie and I are having troubles with Rachaels sleeping patterns, it all started over the Christmas period.

Before Chixie broke up from college for Christmas, Rachael would have her tea at 7 with us, bath at 7:30, bed at 8 and she'd sleep through till 7/8am the following morning depending upon how tired she was when she originally went to bed.

A week after Chixie broke up for Christmas, so just after Christmas Day, Her sleep got a little messed up, she would go to bed at her normal time with no problems, but she'd wake up at 2 or 3 in the morning, adittedly I probably made a mistake here, but being as I would be half asleep when she woke up, I took her through to our bed until she fell back to sleep again and then put her into her own bed.

This week Charly went back to college, and Rachaels sleeping has gotten worse. We've had to change her bed-time routine to:
Tea at half 7 (by tea I mean evening meal by the way)
then a walk through the local park at 7:30 to calm her down a bit, bath at 8, then bed at 8:30, and again she'd go straight to sleep. But would still wake up at 2/3 am, then wake up for he day at 8am again.

Tonights been even worse, she got me up at 8:30 this morning, after sleeping ALL the way through the night last night. she went to bed at the now normal 8:30 and went straight to sleep again, but this time she woke up at 11pm, complaining she was "sore" i.e. her nappy was wet and it was making her sore, so I changed her, put some cream on and put her to bed, she stayedthere for 30 minutes before she got out of bed, played a little for 15 minutes then started creating to come downstairs for a drink.

I made her a drink, tried to put her to bed but she started screaming and I do mean screaming, terrible two's style. This is about midnight now, so I took her for a walk as I sometimes do when shes restless at night as it knocks her straight out, which it seemed to do this time round too, put her back to bed, another 30 minuts later she was awake again, I tried seevral times to get her to bed, then she compained she was sore again, I cleaned her and checked and yes she was very red down there, so I gave her a bath to sooth it, got her back in her pyjamas, got her back to bed, 30 minutes later again (now 3 am) shes awake again, so I take her for another walk, 3:30 I put her back to bed, 10 minutes later shes screaming to come down again, so I try the only thing I havent tried, laying with her in our bed, this seems to work for 20 minutes then she starts screaming to go downstairs, I'm really at the end of my tether here and I try my hardest to ignore her but I couldnt take it anymore, I was no longer sleepy myself so I took her downstairs and gave her something to eat, its now 4:22am and shes sat on my lap, wide awake clutching her favourite cuddly toy in the manner she does when she is really tired.

I've given up, this has been going on for 5 hours now, I've ran out of ideas to try and just don't know what to do, if she stays up all night, I'm refusing to let her nap at all tomorrow, sure she'll be incredibly grumpy but its better than suffering this again.

I'm also tihs clsoe >-< to going to the shop tomorrow and buying her a dummy (paciphier) something she gave up on her second birthday and has never even asked for since then (sh's no 2 and 2 years and 7months so that should really be out of her system.

O know all the changes around the house have probably caused this, but those changes can't be helped (by changes, I mean chixies college). I'm at the end of my tether, as we were making huge leaps forwards witth her potty training, we seem to have jumped back to her being a baby with her sleep. Does anyone else have any ideas that may work?

[Doot]

Riva - my advise (and this is because I just had a talk with a coworker and she was experiencing the same problem) go with your idea of not letting her nap. You will see changes nearly instantly! I know it won't give you the rest during the day but it certainly will help you get through the night. 2.5/3 is usually when the naps start giving kids enough steam to not have to sleep all the way through the night.

Give it a try and let us know!

[RivaOni]

Well she hasnt napped for months and that was certainly working, I think its been a chnage of routine away from bedtime thats done all of this, we both sort of just collapsed around half 5 I think, I just remember Chixie waking us both up when she woke up at half 11 so might be another night of it ahead...

[RivaOni]

Tonight, so far was a bit of a battle, ried gettig her to bed a little later than normal, 9pm, didnt happen, Chixie and I had order some food, there was a bit extra so we gave her a bit, 10pm she went to bed, its now 10:40 and I've not heard a wink out of her, I'll post in the morning let you know if she stayed asleep.

[Ming]

Riva, I hope you problem has improved itself, but if not, you can give this a try.

When I was younger, I used to periodically have trouble sleeping. I was older than Rachael is, but I don't see why this won't work for her also. When I couldn't sleep, my dad would get up and bring me out to the kitchen, and he'd make me this wonderful drink of warm milk, a little sugar, and cinnamon, and he'd sit with me and talk to me while I drank it in the kitchen. When I was done, he'd walk me back to bed. I swear to you, it worked EVERY time, and I would fall fast asleep within minutes of going back to bed.

Good luck!

[Nacht]

hey hun
this is going to sound so callous, but if you looked at child books and everything, they would say the same thing :
your mistake is that you are allowing this behavior. when the child wakes up in the middle of the night, she has learned that "daddy will play with me and talk to me if i yell loud enough"
you have GOT to put your foot down. she will be mad at you, and she will yell her head off, but in the end she will learn that no means no, and will not test you on this again.
be FIRM with her: " Rachael, it is time for bed. lay down and go to sleep. i am not coming back in tonight. GO TO SLEEP!"
do NOT go back in that room unless she is hurt. she will scream her head off for a few nights probably, but she will learn that daddy is not coming in to play with me no matter what i do.
if she comes OUT of the room, put her back in bed and tell her again. "it is time for bed. do NOT come back out of this room again. GO TO SLEEP!" very firm no nonsense voice-very important.
most parents these days are not spanking parents. so i am telling you non-spanking methods.
she just needs to learn that YOU are the parent. YOU control what goes on in her tiny world. not her.
sorry for writing a whole novel. ^_-
i have 2 kids. they are very well behaved, but i had to do a lot of work to get there. parenting is the hardest job.
write me if you need any advice.
hugshugs

[RivaOni]

Thanks Ming and Nacht its appreciated, we do smack Nacht, it worked for me when I was a kid, don't see why it bloody well wont work for Rachael.

Last night was a little better, she woke up at 12 complaining she was sore, I took her nappy off and asked her to show me where, she pointed to "bitsy" (her vagina) the outside looked normal, so I checked inside a little and it was extremely red and sore looking. We contemplated taking her to the hospital but it was Saturday night, A&E would be full of drunks so decided otherwise, the dogs needed walking so we went out as a family, got home and she went straight to bed with no fuss and a lot of nappy cream on bitsy.

This would make sense that she's sore, the past 6 weeks shes been running around the house naked almost all day as she's going on the potty to poopoo and wee wee, but the past two days we've had either visitors or the house just wouldnt warm up despite having the heating on full so shes been clothed all day complete with nappy then shes not telling us when it needs changing unless shes poopoo'ed. This is probably why she's so sore.

Normally she's as good as gold, bedtimes were never a problem, nor was sleeping through the night, aside from the odd occasion when either her or her favourite toy fell out of bed but I'd put her back in bd or give her her toy and she'd be fine.

I do think this is a phase, created by changes in her daily routine, she'd just gotten used to chixie being at home over chrismas then she went back to college, plus we used to go meet chixie from college but the weathers been too abd for me to walk there, we'll see on Tuesday though as that will be resumed, and also couple that with the nappy thing.

I dont tend to play with her Nacht, I just get annoyed and eventually angry, which I can see as her not minding as attention, thats why kids misbehave afterall, as they dont really mind what attention you give them, but shes not exactly starved of normal loving attention.

[Nacht]

heh
i think children need even levels of spoiling and discipline ^_^
but lots of spoiling
i was thinking that too. since this is so abnormal for her, there must be a reason she is getting up. like being sore. some kids will pretend though. ^_-
give her hugs and kisses for me. i can't reach!

[Venus]

Im not trying to give advice here cause im not that far in yet! I just know, I made the age old mistake of letting David sleep in my bed..being a single mom..I sleep pretty soundly and i want to make sure he is okay. I put him to bed with me at 9 oclock and he wakes about 8am. When hes sick or sore theres no getting him to sleep...its EXACTLY how you are describing Racheal. I usually let him play until he passes out for the night...no naps the next day and lots of running around...to tire him out. Thats about the only thing i know to do. I hope everything gets better for Racheal and this whole sleeping thing gets sorted out. ^_^ *lots of love*

[RivaOni]

Sunday night was the toughest! She woke me up at 1:30, complaining she was sore so I changed her, then she asked for food and drink, which I can't exactly say no to as shes been a bit fussy with her food recently so any chance to get something in her is a good thing. I tried getting her to bed straight after but she resisted, and this went on for a fair while, in the end Chixie stepped in as I was beginning to get angry and cave in to her demands, normally I do Rachaels night time stuff as I'm first to react as I'm a light sleeper unlike Chixie. She put her back to bed, Rachael carried on screaming and started throwing stuff out of her room, fel asleep in her doorway so Chixie put her into bed after waiting a short while, unfortunately this woke her up and it started again, but we did the same method and by 4am she was asleep again.

Last night she woke up at 4am (not good considering Chixie had to be up at 7 for college!) We tried putting her into bed numerous times, she eventually fell asleep through exhaustion an hour later and I put her into bed with a drink and she slept soundly until 9:30 when I woke her up, unfortunately Chixie didn't wake up till then either but it wasnt too bad as it turned out she didnt actually need to be at college till 11.

its 4 to midnight now and we've had nothing, hopefully this continues for the rest of the night, otherwise we hope to have her out of this habit by the end of the week, she has had a busy day today though as we went ad did our big food shop for the next fortnight and she had a run around on thelocal park which shes been unable to do recently because its been too wet.

Last night though, she woke up screaming like she'd had a bad dream but we didnt want to make a fuss of it in case it wasnt that.