looking for love...

[kurjohoto the III]

Doot I'm looking for love in all the wrong places.

1. Friend zone how do you get women to stop looking at as a friend and more like a could be boyfriend in a non creepy non stalker kind of way?

2. Dating services. Are any of them any good (ie eharmony, equallyyoked and so on)?

3. If I cut off my hand, will it grow back?....kind of banking on this last one being a yes.......

[Daijaga]

1. Your in the friend zome because you put yourself there. Don't half ass it either. And dont be a "could be" boy friend, dont sell yourself short. When it time to make your move, make it and be decisive, not wishy washy - chicks dont dig that. Simply going to a movie and dinner is a fine first date, so ask girl A "Hey, we should catch a movie together sometime and grab a bite - my treat" The my treat part is a sure fire tell that you mean "Take me seriously, Im buying your time."

When you get shot down, and you will, blow it off. "Maybe some other time" or "Theres nothing relaly good out right now anyway", dont get crushed right there in front of 'em

2. I hear mixed things. Personally, I perfer to meet people the old fashioned way - In person. The internet is kinda the same thing, I guess Im kinda new fashioned too.

3. Absolutly, but it will be slighly different, one finger longer/shorter, maybe slightly green or with a budding of an extra finger. Only regerate appendages in an emergency.

[Legend]

1) Just have confidence. That's the best way to get out. Be a confident, assertive person. Ask chicks out, 'cause lord knows they probably won't ask you out given the social gender typing we're given these days. Girls expect guys to ask them out, and it's a lot more rare that the chick will make the first move.

Also, if you haven't dated much before, don't be afraid to ask a lot of different chicks. Not all at the same time, but if one girl says no, give yourself a day or two, find another chick, and ask her. The more chicks you ask, the more likely you'll find one who'll say yes. If it doesn't work out in the end...it doesn't work out in the end, but getting yourself out there and dating may just give you the confidence you need to ultimately start asking only the ones you really really think will last (IE: looking for the long term)

I never did that myself-- but then, I've always been a little backwards in my methods.

2) Meeting people over the internet is a -great- way to meet people who have common interests. I know a lot of people don't like it, but those are usually outgoing and/or staunch traditionalists. I'm an incredibly shy person, and for me, the internet is the most brilliant invention ever and should be taken advantage of.

I've met several people in the past through 'dating' or 'matching' really, services that I might've been interested in if I hadn't had a better opportunity staring me in the face around the same time.

I used eMode, and they approached me because I wasn't really looking at the time, but I would suggest eMode because it's a lot more fun and easier than eHarmony at least. eHarmony has this incredibly long survey that takes forever to fill out and asks a lot of the same questions re-phrased.

eMode is just one little information thing to fill out, and then you can take all sorts of fun quizzes, similar in style to the livejournal memes and stuff we post on this board all the time.

3) ...uh, not unless you're part starfish, lizard, or maybe octopus. That'd be really really cool if you were, though!

[oxxyjoe]

don't listen to her, just cut it off. be brave! you might want to be inebriated too.

yeah definately take their advice on this subject. "friend zone" is soooo 'junior high' I don't know how old you are, but the sooner you can overcome social fears, the better. Unfortunately there's no recipe or formula though. It's difficult to make yourself less cowardly but it can be done. You want to challenge yourself in being self confident; so go out to social events, be frank about your baser instincts, don't feel embarrassed for being human, or being attracted to someone, or liking someone. being interested in someone is not the disadvantage it feels like. If you try and a girl isn't interested, she may still think you're a cool friend, and if she's a total jerk, then just pass her up for better people anyway. Bottom line is, apprach women. that's the best I can come up with.

[unastrike]

Wookin' puh nuuuub in all de wong pwaces.....
Wookin' puh nuuu~uuub...

[kurjohoto the III]

whoops! meant to put this in ask doot. Thanks guys! I think is what I need is confidence. Thanks again. Anybody else?

[Tobias]

1: Just be yourself. Ladies can usually tell when you're not being yourself. And when you ask, do it with the heart, not with the head. (NOTE: That word has two meanings to me.)

2: Im a bit skeptical with those things. Like Dai, i prefer meeting girls the old-fashioned way. I feel like a dating service is a bit too much...you don't get to really meet the person face-to-face until the first date, and i dunno. I was a youngin when the internet was first coming to pass, and the first time i reallly became comfortable with the internet was when i first joined PO. Really, its up to you.

my second reason is that my friends older brother met a chick on match.com who looks liek me. No joke...just me, with longer, straighter hair. It scares the F***out of me. Mainly because she looks horrible.

3: Hell, give it a shot and see what happens. Don't know till you try.

[Legend]