A Bike with Two Third Wheels (I need advice)

[Daijaga]

Being as I live about an hour away from Dallas, getting out to the "Big City" isnt something I can just do on a snit, but I can generally make a few plans to do and make a good time of it. Upon getting an e-mail that Wizards of the Coast was doing a 4th Ed demo tour, and that I could participate directly in it, I got excited and read down the Tour list.

Dallas wasn't on it.

Sad Panda right? But there WAS Texas stops, namely Austin and Round Rock. Don't worry, I didn't know where Round Rock was either, enter Google.

Back in the day, people had to consult paper diagrams and bust out with the ol compass or protractor. Fortunately Google maps has effectively rendered my 12 years of public funded geography lessons effectively useless. Effectively. Turns out Round Rock is....right by Austin, but a hint closer (only 3/12 hours -_-)! So I spin my swivel chair around (you may spin around in yours if you like here)

(Ok, funs over.)

"Honey, may I go to Round Rock Texas on April 13th?" I ask sweetly. She tried to disguise the gleam in her eye, but too late I saw it and she hit me with a sly look and a pointy finger "Can I come too?" she asked, practically oozing with ulterior motive. Turns out that not only did she know where Round Rock was, but her sister lives there! Ha, sounds like Kismet right?

I ask for the day off from work, I get it. Amber (resident Aradia) does the same, gets it. But something goes awry. We realize our friend is getting married the day before, a wrench to be sure, but we decide to pull it out and make a monkey of it. Somewhere shortly after that I get the idea weather imagined or otherwise that Amber has decided she can't go - as it would be rough on Auran to have left him with grandmas all weekend. Whist at work I call Matt (resident Faye) and enlist him in the trip instead.

Reread the last time, but imagine it in bullet time. And stop spinning in that damn chair, its not ergonomic with your being all centrifugal about it.

Here in lies the problem. Amber is hurt she is no longer invited and theres something secular about not having discussed the tag along with my sister-in-law as far as sleeping arrangements go. Matt became ensconced when I told him I had a misunderstanding and that I was going to go with Amber instead.

I would take both, but somewhere in the mix, both have said if the other goes, they would feel like a 3rd wheel. Frankly I think the most upsetting part of this whole ordeal is that each feels uncomfortable about the other - I cant seem to peg when this thing grew amongst them that I was to be beholden to one or the other and we couldn't just all go as equals.

While Im quite sure I made the original mistake by jumping to gun too early on invitations, I'm quite displeased at how the whole ordeal has come about. Having examined the whole situation, I've decided that everyone seems to be more emotionally invested in this trip than I am by a shot and I've simply canceled the whole bit - no game is worth me hurting one or the other of the people I care for. I just can't shake the feeling that everyone so busy worrying about how much fun they won't be having to be excited about having any of it at all.

So I put to you, POpulous - did I indeed misfire? Should I go after all? Alone? with Faye? with a 4th party? Lemme know what it is.

[Shandriz]

Could you possibly enlist a fourth person? Someone who's close friends with either one or the other so that neither feels like a 3rd wheel, because they have someone to hang out with while you're hanging out with the other?

[Ming]

Sounds like a whole lot of drama that has no business rearing its ugly head in geekly activities. I say you go with both (if indeed you still want to go), and work out the differences on the way. Plus, after a weekend of gaming, I'm sure no one is going to remember these little quips anyway. I see and understand how you're trying to appeal to both parties...but how about you? Why should you sacrifice your happiness and something fun that you want to do?

[Tobias]

I read this in the british/australian tone that Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw. It was incredibly funny.

*shakes head* sorry. what i meant to say is pretty much along the lines of Ming - just go ahead and have fun. Its horrible when you want to do something, but the people close to you that you invited worry too much about the chance of not having fun, when the trip is meant to have fun.

You could also adopt lewis black's ideal. Pretend you're going to go, then the day you want to go, drive out, and when you get there, go "that's it. That's as good as it's gonna get," and drive away.

I'm a sadistic man.

[RivaOni]

Right, Amber wanted to go with you so she could see her sister, right? and the other person (is who?) is going with for the Wizards of the Coast event?

I see the problem being the journey there, thats 3 of you in one vehicle when 2 may have a problem with each other for some reason unbenownst to you, thats gonna be a long journey, and not because of the actual length of the journey either.

Once you arrived, what were the plans before you invited the other person? You and Amber at her sisters, then she stays behind with her sister while you went to the event or she went with?

The problem is that old saying, two's company, three's a crowd and someone always feels torn between the two parties, if the plan was that all of you went to the WotC event, how about Amber inviting her sister along (unless its not her thang, no point forcing someone to something they wont enjoy obviously) as company for Amber?

If I've got all my wires crossed, I apologise and just ignore me

Also Tobs, Ben Croshaw's accent is British, he's also born in Warwickshire which explains why he doesn't sound as common as I do (Gaming PO's should be able to hear my voice soon, once one of bitparade's staffers finishes editing the podcast we recorded a week ago...)

[Therin]

Do you own a fly swatter? Good. Slap both of them and drag them out to the car by the ear. Together. One in each hand. Then each will be too busy haranguing you to be worried about the other one ^_^

Edit: As a side note, a bike with two third wheels is called a pedal cart. And they kick ass. You can replace the pedals with a big motor. I can see it now: blitzing past the idiots in their SUVs with bug juice in your smile and a one-finger salute held up on high like retribution from Heaven, laughing as they gnash their teeth in the wind of your glorious passage. You will be a living legend; Daijaga, The Dreadful, they will name you, Dark God of the Freeway, who strikes down the aggressors and the granny-drivers with righteous fury. Hated, you will be, but only on the surface roads, where your wrath cannot go. But out on the four-lanes, your name will be feared, whispered only in hushed tones by children in the backs of minivans, while their parents quiet them frantically lest they should draw your terrible eye and the road become perilous. And it will be gooooood.

[Faye]

Hey all, resident 3rd wheel here :p First of all you guys seem to have misunderstood a bit here. I dont have a problem with Amber(Arabia), and as far as I am aware she doesnt have a problem with me. In fact when we get together we seem to have a lot of fun giving Dai hell, so why he would want to go anywhere with both of us is beyond me. Regardless, invites were out, Dai asked me if I had a problem with Aradia coming.... I believe my response was something along the lines of, "not at all, shes prolly going to be bored out of her mind sitting around watching a 4th ed D&D game all night, but whatever" Anyone who has ever had to deal with a woman at an event she is not in the least interested in, you will know where I'm going with this. My problem came in, when I was asked to not go.... after I said I had no problem with her going.

I am a reasonable person, when It comes between Dai and I and Dai and Aradia, I'm always gonna back down and I did, they are married for god's sake. In no way shape or form do I want to cause any discomfort between them or towards myself. But I'm in a bad place and I didnt feel like hiding the way I felt about the situation when I was asked to not attend an event I was excited about. So I said, I was pissed I wasnt gonna get to go, and brought up my feelings about being a 3rd wheel in the process.

Thats just my side of the story...

[Daijaga]

After waiting for the smoke to settle, I brough up the issue again and everyones going. Thanks to everyone for their appricated advice.

[GAAZ]

I believe a solution of Chasing Amy proportions are in order.



You said it Ben.

[FawkesFyre]