what should i do? - i just found out something bad...

Suna-chan · Otaku Master Age: 36 Gender: Joined: 22 May 2003

what should i do? i just found out something and now i dont kno how to feel....

my parents are divorced and my dad had told me my mom had wanted the divorce. well today i found out from my aunts that my dad had called my mom one day (while she was away from home visitng her family for chirstmas and my dad was supposed to meet her in a week)

well she got a call and it was my dad. he told her he didnt love her, he never had. he told her he wanted a divorce and custody of the children and that my mom wasnt allowed to leave the state unless she gave him everything he wanted and she didnt argue. (keep in mind my dad is an attorney and so he knows the law very well) my mom had no money with no where to go when he did this to her.

i can't believe that a person who i thought never lied to me, and always was good could be so awful... i dont know how to act around him anymore.... has he lied to me about other things? especially since i was only 2 when this happened and i didnt think anything of it at the time, but he immeadiately started dating another woman only a week after he and my mom divorced.

im so confused about him now and dunno if i can ever trust him.... what should i do?

sorry to burden u all with this... i just dont kno what to do or who to talk to.....

~suna-chan

Midori · Junior Otaku Joined: 10 May 2003

wow ... that is not to happy... im sry i have no clue how to help... i think im pretty lucky... my parents arent divorced. we dont have much problems (well my dad does not have a job but... were doing fine....) im really sry about that... if you have any more problems.. im here... i might not always be able to help but ... some times it is good just to tell some one.. to get it out...

Suna-chan · Otaku Master Age: 36 Gender: Joined: 22 May 2003

mm... thank u midori *is comforted*

Katana · Posted: Tue May 27, 2003 12:42 am Post subject:

[maternal mode]

Aww, love...*huggle* My heart goes out to you...I remember my parents getting a divorce, I was also two, and it was all lies to me, until now I know. People lie. They shouldn't, but they do. We all deserve the truth. But sometimes, that's not what we get, and it isn't fair, at all. I'm sorry for you. Your dad should never have done that, but remember this quote:

"No one is a villan in his own eyes."

In otherwords, your dad probably dosen't see what he did as wrong. Mine probably doesn't either. I won't go into what he did, because, that will basically put me on rampage, therefore opening Pandora's Box...But...Either way, they see what they did as right. While, yes, this infuriates me...They can't help it. Everyone has their own perspective. All you can do is be cautious and take everything with a grain of salt. Don't be paranoid, but also remember this quote: "Blind trust in your leaders or in anything will get you killed." Remember that I'm always here to listen. My contacts are on my profile here on PO, or just ask me for them. ^__^ Remember that we all love you, in our own little special ways. Stay strong, it's the best thing you can do for yourself right now...

[/maternal mode]

Sciler · Mistress Age: 45 Gender: Joined: 15 Sep 2002

if it were me in your situation, I would honestly probably confront him about it, at least to get his side of the story. There are always 2 sides, before truely basing your opinion, find out his side. How do you know what your aunt said is all truth as well? Im not saying she lied but divorces are always tricky when family gets separated. I would just explain to him what you heard, and you want his side of things because you are really hurt and confused. Hopefully he will be mature enough to tell you his side and help ease any pain and confusion, if he gets angry and whatnot ebcause you ask him about it, then hes not mature, Idont care how old he is, he belongs in daycare for being a child.

Righty The Wonder Ghoul · Posted: Sat May 31, 2003 2:24 pm Post subject:

im gonna agree with sciler. my parents are still married, but they both had previous marriages and a lot of my friends have gone through it, so i know what its like. i really do agree that you should always get both sides of the story, because it isnt fair to your father to start making assumptions without knowing what he thinks happened.

Mika · Otaku Knight Joined: 05 May 2003

I'm soooo sorry that this happened....... Also Like Midori I really can't say anything on the matter because my parents have been married for a long time....... I can say that My mother was previously married before she met my dad and thats kinda weird for me but back to you.... I don't think what your da did was rightbut every one makes mistakes..... you just ahve to trust he knows what he did is wrong and or like Katana said is oblvious to the mistake he made.... I agree wit Midori if you ever need to talk or rant or etc. go right on ahead, the best method to relieve pain and anger in my opinion is to talk to someone about it. Were alwayas here........ Wink

Suna-chan · Otaku Master Age: 36 Gender: Joined: 22 May 2003

thank you soo much everyon....*gets teary eyed*.... ^_^

Selrahc the Evil · true Evil's creator Joined: 18 Mar 2003

first off I agree to getting BOTH side of the story. that being said.
My dad has been divorced twice but I have never had to deal with any thing near this harsh. all I can say is that distrust in a family can tear it apart further.

Lanfear57 · psycho kitty Gender: Joined: 09 Jun 2003

distrust and dislike in a family can really ruin it, but i think its actually better when they do get separated rather than just *Pretending* everything is all right even when it isnt
but its like, my mom is only comfortable around my dad when hes done like, everything perfect for three weeks or so. i understand she gets frustrated when he doesnt do anything, but she should deal with that in private with him and not take it out on all us, ya know?