Farewell

[Rab]

As many of you know there was a rather nasty situation a few months back at PSOtakus that involved a lot of people getting hurt and my banning from he forum that I had called home for so long. This was all due actions that I not proud of and I will save myself and the other PSOtakus that frequent the Pocket Otaku message board the unnecessary pain and embarrassment of not going in to the details yet again. What I am trying say is that I can no longer be around PSOtaku’s be it on PO or any other message board as it hurts me so much to think how I have hurt them and how much I have been hurt by the PSOtakus closest to me. Many of you may call this running away or not facing up to my actions, to that I will say I have paid and continue to pay for my actions. No doubt many of the Otakus have forgotten about me and the whole situation but I have not as the anger/hurt has been eating me up inside for the past 4 months or so and I cannot take it anymore so I have decided to sever all ties with all things and people be them friend of foe related to this situation.

I still have a few things I would like to get of my chest as I have been keeping them to myself for a while now. First of to one of the closest Otaku’s to me, the Otaku that was asked to perform a background search or whatever the hell it was on me, I know we were close friends and I know you wanted to be more than friends and that I did not. I am truly sorry if I hurt your feelings by spurning your advances and I understand you were angry and bitter toward me because of this and that you fabricated everything you told the Otakus about me and my background. This is a fact that may hurt people to know but it needs to me known even if it is just so I can get closure on the subject.

I was always adamant about what I had done and not done and I hope in part this post helps to clear things up even just a little. I had always been honest about what I told all of the PSOtakus as I saw them as close friends and a online family , but for this situation to have spiralled out of control because I lied about a picture and for me to be questioned and doubted over the death of my wife hurts me so. I hope that one day you will believe what I have been saying all along despite what has been said and done.

Before I leave you all I would like say a heart felt thank you to all they PSOtakus that made the forum such a excellent place. I would also like to say thank you to Una for always making me laugh with his razor sharp wit, Dom for being my oldest and one of the closest friends I had on PSOtakus, Rune for his unrelenting sarcasm, Zero, Fris and the rest of the Belville boys for showing me the way of the drunken post, Kuni for being a good friend that was always there if I needed to talk, Lil Oz for allowing me to talk for hours about Rod Steward and Head and Shoulders and for coining the nickname Rabio, Raz for here excellent artwork which I still have, to all of the mod’s for giving me the chance to become a moderator, and finally I would like to say a deep heartfelt thank you to Sciler for always being there for me and believing in me.

When I think back to all the good times we had it hurts to see it end in a shitstorm of ill feeling and deceit.


Goodbye and good luck,
~Rab

[Sciler]

I feel like a close friend just died. Im hurting so much that you are leaving entirely...it hurts so much. We always had a connection, and even tho i was being told so much, i never wanted to doubt you. Im sorry all this happened. I can understand your reasoning behind it, it just hurts. Please promise me to take care of yourself. Dont go down the bad road, we know you tried so hard to get away from. Please, its all I ask. Hopefully someday in the future you can send me an email or something...even if its years down teh road, please hunt me down and email me. Let me know you're ok. And anytime you get hurt or feel down, remember to listen to some Bad Religion for me ~huge huge hugs~ Dammit this sucks so hard, but i do wish you the best, you know that. Good luck and stuff.

PS. Always know you will hold a special place in my heart Rab. I thank you SO much for welcoming me to PSOtakus when I first came there, and for backing me up with all that Shota crap. I honestly cannot thank you enough for being such a good friend to me, and cheering me up when I needed it, even if you were down yourself. We had some good times, and I will never forget them. please dont forget me too.

[unastrike]

Let me start off by apologizing to the staff and members of this community for some of our baggage being drug over to your house. Typically, as a general rule, I prefer this sort of thing to be kept private... but I feel that some of the things Rab said reflect negatively upon PSOtakus and some of it's members... and unjustly, I might add.

(Even though Rab said his farewells here, I'm still directing this at him... as I know he'll get it.)

There was no "background check". Nobody was asked to do such a thing. The person you're referring to came to us freely and well after you were confronted in private about the suspicions that many people already had. What she told us had very little to do with what happened... and was taken with a grain of salt.

Fact of the matter is this... there are no facts. I and a couple others spent the better part of a week scouring for ANYTHING in regard to the crash or her death. To which I found none. Nothing in any paper here in the US (where you said the crash happened) nothing in any paper over there. I did this to try and squelch all the rumors circulating. To prove your innocence, Rab. Nobody wanted to believe that anyone, much less one of our good friends, would lie about something like that. Frankly, it made us sick to even think about it...

During our talks, you were extremely vague in regard to when, where, or even how. Not only that, but little things like my request of where to send flowers and condolences were completely ignored.

And there was more than one instance of you lying... it was far more than just "one little picture". You know that.

Your behavior was already in question before you even made the announcement of her death. You were deleting posts where people were questioning the pictures that you posted that were supposedly of yourself... and they clearly were not... at least, they looked absolutely nothing like pictures that you've posted of yourself previously. You were very clearly abusing your priveledges as a mod. We stripped you of those abilites right away and held off on the ban until we could get things sorted out. A reasonable man might think that you made this new crisis in response to people doubting your honesty. And remember, this is not the first significant other that you've lost. Less than a year before you had a girlfriend that died as well and left us all scratching our heads.

Because you were unwilling to provide any sort of proof on your behalf we were forced to believe that you were not telling the truth. As such, you were not welcome there anymore. You had lied to, manipulated, and played people for sympathy. Those people are friends of mine. And I took it very personally.