Sperrit's Therapy - I'll Always be there for ya!

ShinkuKitsune · Follower of Yoshiki-ism Gender: Joined: 27 Mar 2003

Ok, I got a situation.... I need some help ^^;;; Here it goes:
Sperrit-san,

Ok... lately, I've distanced myself from a lot of people (well, specifically, friends).... and I kinda don't do it on accident. >_>; I do this thing where I pick out all the things I don't like about the person and use it as my own personal excuse to avoid them. ._. But then I feel very very very guilty when these people tell me that I'm a good friend to them and that they love me ;_;
I dunno if it's just a phase I'm going through or that I really don't want their love or what.... but I honestly can't help it >_>; and it's not as easy as just thinking of their good aspects and trying talk to them more... or something. o.-;
So, basically, I guess, I don't know what to do ._.

...Um, your turn. Advice? ;_;

Sperrit · Chosen of Earth Gender: Joined: 16 Oct 2002

Ahh... I see.
Well, first let me state that if that's a guy in your sig then that severly frightens me.
Secondly, the problem. Believe it or not this is something I've had to deal with a lot, but in order for me to give you any kind of good advice I'm going to have to ask you some questions. You can answer them or not, but if you don't then I can only give you generalized advice, and it probably won't be all that helpful. If you want, instead of talking about this on the website you can PM me the answers, or you can AIM me. My SN is PO Sperrit.
Anyway, here's the questions:
1. How many people would you count as friends?
2. How many of those that you count as friends does this happen to?
3.Out of those that it happens to how many of them are you still friends with?

The more I think about this the more I think it would be good if we talked on AIM. I should be on tomorrow around 4pm West Coast Time (add an hour for every timezone going towards the East Coast). Please IM me.

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ShinkuKitsune · Follower of Yoshiki-ism Gender: Joined: 27 Mar 2003

Talking would be great ^^;;; I haven't been able to catch you when you were on, though x__x;;;

... The sig? o_o I swear, you're magical or something. Either you are able to sense who's what gender, or you already know about my liking for jrock well enough that you can always assume it's gonna be a guy o.x; I just changed it though (so it would fit better... it didn't look so good on my compy x_x;), so I hope you're not so frightened anymore ^^;;;;;;

Selrahc the Evil · true Evil's creator Joined: 18 Mar 2003

Sperrit I need help. I am going to be getting a BB gun soon and my GF doesn't want me to get it. She just has a really strong aversion to guns. what can I do to get what I want and still not upset her???

Sperrit · Chosen of Earth Gender: Joined: 16 Oct 2002

Um.... *snicker* Laugh

Sorry! Its just that this is a classic problem you've got here, Chuck, and its always going to BE a problem. That alone should tell you that you've got your foot way deep in it this time.
Anyway, it unfolds like this:

You've got two options:
1. Get the Gun.
2. Don't get the gun.
If you get the gun then she's going be upset at you because you're propogating a system and a "cycle of violence" (their words, not mine) that she doesn't approve of, and probably actively opposes. Now, I don't know your girlfriend, so you're going to have to find out just HOW much she doesn't like guns. My guess is that if she's ever gone to a peace rally then getting a gun is going to cause a BAD result, as in, she'll actually get really mad at you. If, however, she just kinda sorta doesn't like them then it will probably just irritate her, which might build up over time when she's aggrivated by other problems and, through her frustration at that, might come up and through. However, if she's of the latter inclination then you might be able to persuade her that its harmless and she won't think twice about it. But you've got to have some good persuasion going on. This is all part of a system of risk-benefit analysis, here, if you couldn't guess. Another issue is how much you really want this thing. Weigh the two against each other: Her dislike of guns vs. your desire to have one. I can't tell you what you should do specifically since I don't know your girlfriend, but not getting the gun and telling her that she's the reason would also really flatter her, as well, so that's another thing to be weighed.

Anyway, that's about all the help I can give you. The rest is up to you, my friend. I hope you can come to a quick conclussion. Take it easy, man! Tell me what happens!

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Mika · Otaku Knight Joined: 05 May 2003

Hello Sperrit!

My best guy friend *cough* cough* shutup Laura! His b-day was friday and I didnt get him a present. Well I gave him a small leather sketch book cus like me he loves drawing but his family is really screwed up and the only other present he got was his working mom cleaned his room! I feel sooooo bad for him! I want 2 get him sometin really special.... Plus I REALLLY like him so now I have a problem! I have know clue what 2 buy! ANy ideas????? Laugh

Sperrit · Chosen of Earth Gender: Joined: 16 Oct 2002

Well, Mika, a truly great present is a difficult thing to find. It has to be personal, something that reflects who he is AND your feelings for him. You could just get him something that you know he'd like (video game, book, comic, etc.) and that's certainly a good option. But a truly great present should be something more. Let me give you an example:
Nacht, my one and only dearest love, gave me a braclet that she made herself specifically for me with colors that she tricked me into telling her. THAT IS AN AWESOME GIFT. Anything with that much heart in it would make a perfect gift.
Another example: one of my best friends in the whole world knitted me a scarf of of my favorite color. It was the first thing she ever knitted. Again, AWESOME GIFT.
However, the gift you give doesn't have to be home made. It can be something that you find that has special meaning. Example: I'm Irish (along with other things....) and one of my best friends gave me a necklace with the Irish Celtic symbol for friendship on it. I've worn it every day since.
.... Wow. I get a lot of great gifts....
Anyway, the long and the short of it is this: find something with meaning. I think you had the right idea in mind with the sketch book. Its something he loves and something you love, too, so it has personal meaning and will remind him of you. Finding something with meaning is hard to do sometimes, but if you do then the message will be unmistakable.
Good luck, my woodland elf friend! Tell me what you find~!

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Mika · Otaku Knight Joined: 05 May 2003

Ooooo thank you soooo much Sperrit! WOW!Those are excellant examples of gifts thanks for sharing them with me! Hehehehe I am Irish/ German and Scotish and I wear a necklace with a Celtic Knot on itthey are little charm things) the chinese symbol for buddha, and the UU chalice! Sorry that was off topic just felt like sharing! I will start hunting with your advice in mind as soon as I can (finals are this week ya know! LOL!)for a great present for Jared (my guy friend!)!
Thanks soooo much my friend of the forest!

Mika the excited elf girl~ Gotta start hunting for a present! Laugh

Selrahc the Evil · true Evil's creator Joined: 18 Mar 2003

Well sperrit I think that I will wait to get the gun. But even though I still plan to get one at a latter time ( as soon as I can find a reason other than paranoia to get one), I think that things will be just fine. as long as I don't dig myself into anymore holes.
thanks for your help.

Sperrit · Chosen of Earth Gender: Joined: 16 Oct 2002

I'm always glad to help. I wish I could help more... I feel as if I've been neglecting my duties to everyone else latey.... I hope that this doesn't prove to be true. Just remember. I am always there for anyone that wants to talk about anything. Please remember that.

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