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-sigh- I dont know |
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Kenji Senior Otaku

Joined: 28 Sep 2003 |
Posted: Tue Oct 07, 2003 9:42 pm Post subject: -sigh- I dont know |
Right now, I feel like the lyrics to the son "Chi" by KoRn. Im just under my usual depression right now I suppose. Whenever I feel good and feel like I might actually have the chance to get into a relationship,something pops up in my mind and tears me up.
There is this girl really like..I mean a lot..and, to the best of my knowlege,she likes me alot as well.
She just got out of a pretty big relationship and whatnot, and I just dont know If im able to fill the shoes of her past boyriend.
Sometimes,just out of a paranoia, I wonder if she even likes me as much she puts off. Its because I think its too good to be true.....there has to be a catch,so I guess I just worry too much and look for that catch.
Then I start thinking about other things...like..I really dont have any talents. I feel so creative all the time,and im so emotional,but no way to express it. I feel like a waste ><
-sigh- I feel like its not fair to feel so bad,though. There are so many people who have had to go through so much shit in their lives that no one should,so I shouldent be complaining. But it still gets to me. I dont know if its right,but it still does. People tell me "suck it up" and "be strong." But I cant! Im not as strong as them! I guess Im just weak in that sense. Oh well, I dont feel too bad right now, and I dont want anyone to back away from me, expecially that girl, who goes here sometimes, so I dont want er to think im a basketcase and not like me. Oh well.I think Ill write some songs and post 'em somewhere around here. Thanks for letting me vent ^_^;; |
_________________
 | Kenji
Wins 1 - Losses 1
Level 2
HP: 2130
Str: 630
End: 750
Acc: 500
Agi: 720
Verdan, Enchanted Bo Staff(165-365)
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Tobias *explodes*

Age: 38 Gender:  Joined: 17 Jan 2003 |
Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2003 4:49 pm Post subject: |
Wow...ive never met someone who had the EXACT same emotional feelings as me.
I know exactly how you feel kenji, and it will bog you down, but always look towards the good. Ive kind of given up on attempting to get a gf, but rather make friends out of the girls i meet in school. Im just wanting to be myself instead, becuasei realize that the more i keep on appealing to all of those girls, the more im gonna get paranoid, and then "kind of depressed." Just stick it out, and if worse comes to worse, tell that girl how you feel, and just see what happens. The worst that can happen is that she says no, and there isnt anything bad in that. Just remember that you can always be open to her as a friend.
I hope my wisdom helps you in your trials kenji
Also, if you want to, im ususally on AIM, so if you want to, PM me, or IM me on AIM, and talk to me. I'll offer whatever wisdom i have to share
That is all  |
_________________ I am not afraid to die today
Nor afraid of what Death will bring.
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Wins 112 - Losses 110 Level 16 |
EXP: 535 HP: 3000
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STR: 1000 END: 1000 ACC: 1000 AGI: 1000
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Eden (Sword) (475 - 475) |
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Righty The Wonder Ghoul brown belt gravy ninja of boiled animal fat dojo

Joined: 14 Feb 2003 |
Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2003 4:36 pm Post subject: |
mike, you say you never met someone with the same exact feelings as you, but youve met me and that guy just described my life...
i hate feeling uncreative too. im great at drawing and writing poetry/lyrics, but i never have inspiration when i want it. its one of the hardest things about trying to pursuing arts.
as far as girls, i have a girl who i liked, and she seemed to say she liked me, but i didnt think she did (i have that SAME paranoia about friends not liking me, im always afraid people really dont like me and they just dont tell me). it turned out she was a stupid bitch who called me an annoying piece of shit. no idea what thats supposed to mean to you besides that life sucks. they tell me to be strong too, im just not. i think there's a lot of people like us out there. |
_________________ haha i may have no; girlfriend, friends, life, good looks, good grades, car, job, chance at succeeding, chance in hell, or anything. BUT, i play bass in a band.
ha. |
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Lewis Black Lewis M.S. Black
Joined: 07 Oct 2003 |
Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2003 11:53 pm Post subject: |
I actually feel like proclaiming myself as an Overlord of the Netherworlds. But then again I've been hangin out with those damn goths wannabes at my work. DAMN THEM! |
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Tobias *explodes*

Age: 38 Gender:  Joined: 17 Jan 2003 |
Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2003 8:38 am Post subject: |
lol...just make sure to wear lots of white
That is all  |
_________________ I am not afraid to die today
Nor afraid of what Death will bring.
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Wins 112 - Losses 110 Level 16 |
EXP: 535 HP: 3000
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STR: 1000 END: 1000 ACC: 1000 AGI: 1000
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Eden (Sword) (475 - 475) |
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Righty The Wonder Ghoul brown belt gravy ninja of boiled animal fat dojo

Joined: 14 Feb 2003 |
Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2003 6:03 pm Post subject: |
anti-goth? bleach your hair white, wear all white clothes, white shoes, etc. like the twins from the matrix reloaded. or that guy from the first matrix who no one really cared about.
but dude, there's nothing wrong with goths. well most of them. some of them are really friggen weird, like that one girl at my school who walks around in striped black and white knee socks and is big enough to wrestle a football player and win, but thats beside the point. most goths are pretty intelligent but just looked down upon so they set themselves apart from people. |
_________________ haha i may have no; girlfriend, friends, life, good looks, good grades, car, job, chance at succeeding, chance in hell, or anything. BUT, i play bass in a band.
ha. |
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Tobias *explodes*

Age: 38 Gender:  Joined: 17 Jan 2003 |
Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2003 10:47 pm Post subject: |
Righty The Wonder Ghoul wrote: | anti-goth? bleach your hair white, wear all white clothes, white shoes, etc. like the twins from the matrix reloaded. or that guy from the first matrix who no one really cared about.
but dude, there's nothing wrong with goths. well most of them. some of them are really friggen weird, like that one girl at my school who walks around in striped black and white knee socks and is big enough to wrestle a football player and win, but thats beside the point. most goths are pretty intelligent but just looked down upon so they set themselves apart from people. |
DOOD THAT GIRLS SCARES THE CRAP OUT OF ME!!
Yea...goths arent all that bad. In fact, they are fairly smart and have lots of insight.
Oh...and the person that dressed all white in the first matrix was Switch...who was a cool character
That is all  |
_________________ I am not afraid to die today
Nor afraid of what Death will bring.
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Wins 112 - Losses 110 Level 16 |
EXP: 535 HP: 3000
 |
STR: 1000 END: 1000 ACC: 1000 AGI: 1000
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Eden (Sword) (475 - 475) |
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Righty The Wonder Ghoul brown belt gravy ninja of boiled animal fat dojo

Joined: 14 Feb 2003 |
Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2003 10:50 pm Post subject: |
meh, nobody cared about switch... expendable troops.
but about goths, i dont think its limited to them. a lot of the social oddities and outcasts have insight. they tend to be more intelligent and less materialistic than popular kids because they actually deal with real problems like acceptance and happiness/depression issues. popular kids deal with "oh now what should i wear to get the opposite (same?) gender in my pants?!!!" |
_________________ haha i may have no; girlfriend, friends, life, good looks, good grades, car, job, chance at succeeding, chance in hell, or anything. BUT, i play bass in a band.
ha. |
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Kenji Senior Otaku

Joined: 28 Sep 2003 |
Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2003 12:14 am Post subject: |
-sniffle- I liked Switch...the whole white trenchcoat thing.
Well, I dont like to proclaim myself into categories,but most of the time im gothy...It switches around, and I mean..just look at my PO. (shameless plug) But yeah..I dont feel like typing too much on it right now, but, I guess if anyone has any questions, feel free to ask.  |
_________________
 | Kenji
Wins 1 - Losses 1
Level 2
HP: 2130
Str: 630
End: 750
Acc: 500
Agi: 720
Verdan, Enchanted Bo Staff(165-365)
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Tobias *explodes*

Age: 38 Gender:  Joined: 17 Jan 2003 |
Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2003 12:13 pm Post subject: |
lol...i sometimes wear all black...but i prefer to wear my blue jeans, and a nice white Tshirt
That is all  |
_________________ I am not afraid to die today
Nor afraid of what Death will bring.
 |
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Wins 112 - Losses 110 Level 16 |
EXP: 535 HP: 3000
 |
STR: 1000 END: 1000 ACC: 1000 AGI: 1000
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Eden (Sword) (475 - 475) |
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