Sperrit's Therapy - I'll Always be there for ya!

[Sperrit]

Well, Shandriz, first I think you really need to talk to "James" and find out how he feels about the entire situation. If he's aware of "Emily's" somewhat shallow intentions towards their relationship, and is okay with it, then there really isn't much of a problem, except maybe that both of them ought to re-examine what a relationship is for.
However, if James isn't aware of the flighty nature of Emily then there is certainly a potential for some pain on his part. This is where it becomes hard being a good friend of both parties. If after talking to James you still think that he's in danger of being hurt by Emily you have two basic choices, each with a varriety of different possible outcomes depending on how your friends will react. You can try and talk James out of being in a relationship with Emily, which would probably be some task considering that if they've been dating on and off for three years and he still thinks that she'll be serious about a relationship then its going to take some persuading to make him see how Emily is treating him, and might alienate him. Your other option is to talk to Emily about their relationship, getting her take on it, which can be tricky, depending on how she views the relationship and how she sees herself. There might be every possibility that you could talk to her about the entire thing, expressing your concerns over her calous attitude, and she would be utterly confused, professing that she has always been serious with James. Or she might be openly aware of her light attitude towards James' feelings. Those are the extremes. She might fall on either edge or somewhere in the middle. Unfortunately there isn't a real cut-and-dry answer to your problem, which is true for most problems in these kinds of situations. My suggestion to you is that you talk to James, find out how he feels about the whole thing and if you're still worried about him then talk to Emily to see if you can get her to take their relationship more seriously. If neither are eager to change their relationship then I'm afraid there isn't much more you can do, just be there for the one whose heart get's broken.
You're obviously a good friend to be so concerned for James, and being a good friend is one of the best things you can be, especially in these situations.
I wish you the best of luck, Shandriz, and I hope that no one has to get hurt. Drop me a line and tell me how it all came out.

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Sperrit the Not-Quite-Back

[Shandriz]

Thank you so much, pet! ^_^ I will attempt to speak with both of them individually about it the next time I get either of them alone.

[Terin]

Sperrit. Me and this girl are really good friends, and I admit, the whole time I've had this HUGE crush on her, but she has a b/f. We still laugh and talk and have a good time, and I miss her alot when I'm not with her. I know it's just infatuation, but we don't spend enough time together for that to roll over. (I've been in the same situation before, the infatuation dies when I become comfortable with them.) Anyway, I guess I should just hang out with her more. I should be a good friend, and maybe it will die out. Then again, it sucks being alone and I want her to want ME! (I dig CHeap Trick) Anyway, thanks for listening, this wasn't really me seeking advice so much as venting. Thanks for being a um...duct..

[Sperrit]

Hey, I'm always glad to listen to other people's worries, even if they aren't seeking advice and just need someone to talk to. After all, that's what I'm here for. As far as your situation with the girl goes, I can understand where you're coming from. I've been in similar situations and I've discovered that, ultimately, its not as bad a situation as it seems. Frustrating, sure, but not all that bad. As a guy, its good to have female friends. They offer a different outlook on situations that you might not see otherwise were they not there, and the presence of a boyfriend effectively diffuses any uncertain romantic tensions from both parties. I wish you great luck in finding a girlfriend of your own.

And, uh, when did I become a pet?

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Sperrit, The Not-Quite-Back

[Shandriz]

..you mean I can't keep you? ^__^

Sorry. I couldn't resist. But 'pet' is just evidence of the fact that I've been playing British characters -way- too much! I'm starting to speak in British, not just spell in it!

...it means the same as 'dear' by the way.

[Lewis Black]

Dear Sperrit,

How can I put a cork on my consistant rage? I mean it seems like every passing minute I'm gettin pissed off at something. I know this'll come back and nip me in the bum later on in life. So, how do i calm myself down?

-Not Mr. Anger

[Sperrit]

Well, usually the best and easiest ways to get anger under control is to let it out in a constructive manner. Some people punch stuff. Some people complain to therapists. Some people start punk bands. However, I've found that the most effective methods usually involve physical activity combined with mental focus. The martial arts are traditionally good for this kind of thing, but endurance sports work just as well. I was a Cross Country Runner in Highschool and that was great for getting me relaxed and focused, working off excess energy. That, and physical activity enhances endorphine production in your body, endorphines creating a natural "high" effect.
Other than that, whenever you feel yourself getting angry try and take a look at what induced that anger, try to understand where its coming from. Anger is the result of constant emotional or mental irriation, so chances are that if being angry like this is truly unusual for you then there's something about your life that isn't sync-ing up well with you. If you can understand where your anger originates then you can do something about stopping the cause of your frustration.
Drop me a line if you discover anything and I hope that you feel better soon.

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Sperrit The-Not-Quite-Back