is this something (honestly) to get mad about?

[ChibiChaos]

ok, for about 7 months i have been dating my current bf.. lemme backtrack a bit here...

when he was going out with his old gf (she was a bit slow, he didn't think he was attractive at all, so when she asked him out, he said yes because he was lonely) and well, the whole family liked him going out with her because they wanted her to date someone who could take care of her, because well, slow..

but it was a bit odd here.. sometimes her mom would show up at his house, saying they were gonna go back to his gf's house, get his gf, and get ice cream or something, like dinner, and then she'd just take him out and his gf would be at home, calling his house wondering where he went.. which well, is odd. and his mom found it odd too that her mom pick him up and go with just him..

we weren't really friends at that point yet, just heard stuff cause his sis talks to mine, and his mom talks with mine, and i sometimes saw him at school. sometime after school ended (summer) him and a few of my friends slept over here. i guess the one night he was gone they called all around to find him, after he told them he was going to a friend's house, and he'd call them later. at that point he was driving a red van. he parked it across the street from my house, and at about 2 am, they came by (somehow found out where i lived) and were looking across the street in people's windows, stalking him. (at this point i had no interest in him, he was a friend, and taken, just a video game buddy) his gf's mom called in the morning and was talking to him (my sis and his sis, wondering why she's calling, listened in) it seems that she was trying to win him over without really making it obvious (in the wrong, 40 year old trying to pick up a 17 year old way) and stalking him. the sis's upstairs were listening to the phone. she was like "do you think of me? where are you? do you want me to come over?" finally my mom picked up the phone and told her to lose our number cause she's crazy (she really is, she just walks into people's houses if she thinks they're nice)

that was 7 months ago. for some reason, his msn unblocks everyone he has blocked, (it's true, but not good) and they talk to him on there. so i asked him to stop talking to her (he denies he does, but i've seen it too many times, and when he talks to her, she usually stalks him some more, but refuses to get the police involved, even though he should)

i tell him to stop talking to her, and to make a new email so they can't talk to her anymore. he complies, saying he has "nothing to hide" yet still signs in to msn on the old account which they can contact him on. so i change the password on him. he acts calm and says he doesn't care, and is glad they can't talk to him. 2 weeks later, i find that they're talking to him on his new account. now, the only way they could talk to him is if he added them, cause he doesn't talk to them. he still refuses talking to them.

should i be as angry as i am?

[reaper]

Well as you said the whole situation is quite odd.
What you need to find out, if possible, is the motivation for him talking to them, if he just feels bad there isn’t an issue, if he had ulterior motives then there probably is an issue.
So I would say try and figure out what’s going on, worst case you break up and you don’t have to worry about it any more. . .
That’s the best advice I can give given the situation

[Skylah]

[Sperrit]

I've found that anger is rarely a good response to any situation. It usually just blurs what it is you're really trying to work out by dragging in unnecessary emotion.
Now, looking at this logically, there are a couple of ways to view this situation:

1. Your bf really is just friends with these people (the old gf and her mom) and doesn't see any harm in talking to them. This seems fairly naive since it appears that the mother is obviously a little off her rocker and blatant in her advances. But, some people are naive.

2. Your bf is aware of the situation in a peripheral sense (he's aware of it, but ignores it) and is enamored of the attention that he's getting from the old gf and mom. This seems fairly likely considering how obvious the mom's advances are, but is very dangerous, as he is inadvertently toying with the emotions of an unbalanced woman. Situations like that rarely end up good.

3. Your bf is aware of the situation fully and is deliberately maintaining contact because he likes the attention. This is both dangerous and stupid, and doesn't speak much for the character of the boy friend. This is the most extreme way to view the situation, not the most likely.

It's going to be up to you to decide which one of these seems the most likely and continue from there. Obviously the situation is not good, as the mom is likely to be very reluctant to stop communication with your boyfriend and with her seeming instability, that could result in a dangerous situation. My best advice to you would be sit down and talk to your boyfriend about what's really going on, not to just tell him to stop talking to these people, but to try and see it from his point of view so you can then get him to understand the situation as it truly is.
I hope that things end up alright. I'll be hoping.

Join the Fun

[Suna-chan]

ALso, what if another friend of your boyfriend's gave the people who are a bit odd...what if another person gave them your boyfriend's msn name? He may not have added them, but they found him out...and so he said accept because...well of the reasons Sperrit said.

I mean, he was pretty close to these people and even if ties need to be cut off with them, it can be a really hard thing to do. maybe he is trying to tell them to back off in the nicest way possible? and that is why he is talking to them?

anyway...i dunno what exactly is goin on, but i wish you luck with this situation and i hope everything gets resolved as soon as possible.