The Blue Lagoon

[Azurel]

...or child porn?

SPOILER WARNING

Ok, me and my friend Ron were bored last night, so we started searching around his house for crap to do. We found his family's movie collection (he's been in military school for 6 months and he usually lives in Wisconsin with his mom, so he doesn't know what kind of movies there are). We find this really old movie called The Blue Lagoon. We look at the cover, and there's Brooke Shields who's almost naked. On the back, the movie describes the story:

A boat catches fire and blows up. The cook and two eight-year-old children (cousins) get into one lifeboat. They end up stranded on an island. The cook shows them how to live a little, then he dies. The kids have to grow up by themselves, experiencing the harshest parts of being teenagers in the most natureal way possible. There's also something about them having a baby and whatnot, but I never got that far into the movie.

Ok, here's the parts that made this movie unbearable:

As kids (let me remind you, they are 8-year-old actors) there is a lot of nudity. I mean, the first time I saw the girl just take off her clothes, we were like "Holy shit, was this movie made before they had censors or child laws?!" So that was annoying, but it gave us hope because if the kids were naked, we figured Brooke Shields would be naked. Wrong. Somehow, they have more clothes as teens, and there was a body double everytime they needed the character naked. The teens discover sex, and they do it about 80 times in a week, she gets pregnant and they don't understand what being pregnant is so to them it's she's eating too much and she doesn't want sex anymore.

At this point we turned the movie off because the only reason you should watch this is to laugh at a really bad movie.