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GAAZ
MOD Black Sheep Commander



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 14 Oct 2002
PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 6:01 pm    Post subject:

shadokastur wrote:

I'd love for you to look straight into the eyes of someone who's lost a child or any other loved one to drugs and tell them that. As a near drug-related fatality myself, I can't say more than 'I thought you were better than this.'


Umm, I've already done that.

My cousin was hard into cocaine and died of OD. I told my uncle straight to his face that he deserved what he got and my Uncle agreed. He tried to get him into rehab and he wouldn't go.

I come from a family of individuals. If you wanna screw up YOUR life and take drugs it's your fault end of story.

Seriously...I've said this before .

ADDICTION IS NOT A DISEASE.

My grandfather died of heart failure. He did not go to the intersection of MLK and Washington and purchase a "hit" of "Heart Failure." He lived a long hard life working as a hydrological engineer, one of only 3 in the attack on Japan in WW2.

My father accidentally got my mom pregnant with my brother and sold his boat and all his possessions to take care of her while he finished college and became a contractor.

My family doesn't take the easy way out. We don't try to "Escape" reality we embrace it and make it our own. Those who turn to drugs to help take the edge off are weak and deserve to be purged. Everyone has the right to life and the right to death. You wanna die so bad go ahead I don't care. You want to live and can show me you're trying your best I'll be more than glad to help you achieve goals.

I have a request for you since you wanted me to look someone in the eyes and tell them I didn't care about their child.

How bout you go to a child dying of cancer or maybe a child that's just terminal and tell them about your "Awesome friend" that got addicted to drugs and died...Gave up his/her life for one more hit. See if that child doesn't ask you why someone would give up their life when there are people like him/her dying from something they had no choice in.

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Akanari
Owns your reality



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PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 6:22 pm    Post subject:

Please direct all replies related to Suicide (or ODing) to the new topic in the Soapbox Forum.

(please?)

(Killed the thread)

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Last edited by Akanari on Thu Jan 24, 2008 7:06 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Sciler
Mistress


Age: 46
Gender: Gender:Female
Joined: 15 Sep 2002
PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 6:32 pm    Post subject:

Guys please dont turn this into a hate fest/Drug-Suicide arguement.

I love you all, dearly, more than I ever convey, and not nearly often enough. Being so far away from everyone makes it that much harder.
As we all get older, I am TERRIFIED that I'm going to hear some terrible news all the time about either family or friends...I dont know why,maybe its just ebcause I dont get to be around everyone anymore.

Whats happened in the past, all we can do is learn from it and move on. We all have our opinions on things, and thats how it is. We can agree to disagree on this I think.

I've had more than a few close calls with friends who were suicidal...and I thank god that they are still hear today, and past that episode of thier lives. I've been completely exhausted and drained at times, just trying to lend them my strength, and take one day at a time, until things started to look up. Thankfully for me, they listened...maybe not just to me, but they didnt act on anything, and for that I am grateful. I only know of one who gives me credit for saving him, and he has gone on to finish college and has a decent job for the moment, as he graduated last year. Made me so happy. We still talk, he still gets sad about his brother who had died, which lead to his suicidal tendancies, but aside from that, he's ok.

All I can say is if you know someone is suicidal, even mildly, just be there for them...sometime's that's all that it takes. Sometimes knowing they arent alone, and that someone out there does indeed care, can make the biggest difference in the world.

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shadokastur
Patience to see and strength to do. That is all.



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Joined: 26 Jan 2003
PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 6:33 pm    Post subject:

GAAZ wrote:
shadokastur wrote:

I'd love for you to look straight into the eyes of someone who's lost a child or any other loved one to drugs and tell them that. As a near drug-related fatality myself, I can't say more than 'I thought you were better than this.'


I have a request for you since you wanted me to look someone in the eyes and tell them I didn't care about their child.

How bout you go to a child dying of cancer or maybe a child that's just terminal and tell them about your "Awesome friend" that got addicted to drugs and died...Gave up his/her life for one more hit. See if that child doesn't ask you why someone would give up their life when there are people like him/her dying from something they had no choice in.



I can only assume you're using the fact that the child didn't have a choice in their fate as the reason for this. I get your logic but I don't believe the child would really understand any way.

As for your uncle, I'm sure it meant more to him then a "he got what he deserved." It wasn't your child. Ask him. I bet he holds no contempt for your cousin and even if he does it's only so he doesn't have to fully face his own loss. After anger and fear are long gone, love remains. Maybe you won't know exactly what I mean until you have children of your own, but I can tell you no matter what Andrew or Lilly do in their lives I will love them. I'm sure it will hurt when they no longer need me or they move out, and even if they choose the path we are discussing here that fact will never change. Cause and effect are reliable but they are just a program that life runs without emotion. I suppose I'm just on the opposite side of this than you and that's fine. But, the next time you're feeling lonely or just don't have anyone to talk to I hope you can appreciate that I would say "You brought this on yourself. It's nobody's but your own fault."

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GAAZ
MOD Black Sheep Commander



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 14 Oct 2002
PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 6:37 pm    Post subject:

shadokastur wrote:
GAAZ wrote:
shadokastur wrote:

I'd love for you to look straight into the eyes of someone who's lost a child or any other loved one to drugs and tell them that. As a near drug-related fatality myself, I can't say more than 'I thought you were better than this.'


I have a request for you since you wanted me to look someone in the eyes and tell them I didn't care about their child.

How bout you go to a child dying of cancer or maybe a child that's just terminal and tell them about your "Awesome friend" that got addicted to drugs and died...Gave up his/her life for one more hit. See if that child doesn't ask you why someone would give up their life when there are people like him/her dying from something they had no choice in.



I can only assume you're using the fact that the child didn't have a choice in their fate as the reason for this. I get your logic but I don't believe the child would really understand any way.

As for your uncle, I'm sure it meant more to him then a "he got what he deserved." It wasn't your child. Ask him. I bet he holds no contempt for your cousin and even if he does it's only so he doesn't have to fully face his own loss. After anger and fear are long gone, love remains. Maybe you won't know exactly what I mean until you have children of your own, but I can tell you no matter what Andrew or Lilly do in their lives I will love them. I'm sure it will hurt when they no longer need me or they move out, and even if they choose the path we are discussing here that fact will never change. Cause and effect are reliable but they are just a program that life runs without emotion. I suppose I'm just on the opposite side of this than you and that's fine. The next time you're feeling lonely or unappreciated I hope you can understand that "You brought this on yourself. It's nobody's but your own fault."


Sweet, you completely ignored the part about helping those that are willing to help themselves. Good job on that one. Prolly your emotions got in the way.

Like I said I'm surrounded by people that can stand on their own two feet. We also help one another because we know we want to succeed. I simply do not associate with people that feel life is too hard to try anymore. I'd rather my friends that are strong and independent help me than someone that has to lean on others constantly.

I understand my uncle still loves his son however I do know he knows there was nothing he can do. Are there nights he misses him? Sure. Does he sometimes wonder if he could have done something different..You bet. Does he let it stop him. Not one Iota.

And with that I wash my hands of the subject entirely. I really don't care what others think of me and they shouldn't care what I think of them. My friends know I'm very Individualistic and they accept me. I'm not here to garner love from others.

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Sciler
Mistress


Age: 46
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Joined: 15 Sep 2002
PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 8:10 pm    Post subject:

Sometimes people need others to lean on. Being here in FL, while I love many aspects of it, being so far from family, and money issues and other things from my past fucking with my head, I was someone who had contemplated suicide. I dont like to admit it, but I have thought about it many times. Thank god I have the friends and family that I do, because just hte THOUGHT of hurting any of them, kept me from doing something stupid. But we all experience weakness, and if you havent yet, you will. I'm still dealing with depression a lot, but thankfully hte suicidal part has passed because I have indeed worked to climb out of hte hole, though sometimes it feels like i am barely making any progress, i can see that I have..and that keeps them at bay.

Ive known you for a long tiem now, and while you are very stubborn in your ways at times, I wouldnt want you to be any other way, but I would hope that if someone comes to you in a time of weakness, you wouldnt just push them away or tell them to do something about it for themselves. I would be crushed if I got up the nerve to come to any of you when I was at my lowest, to be pushed away and told to figure it out on my own. Ive been through a lot in my life, and sometimes peace can seem so enchanting...but I'm still curious for what hte future holds for me...i only hope I'm not wasting my time, and that my reason for being here is real, and that I make some sort of difference in my life and for those around me, even if its a small one.

sorry if I'm extra emotional today too, i have my reasons.

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GAAZ
MOD Black Sheep Commander



Gender: Gender:Male
Joined: 14 Oct 2002
PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 9:47 pm    Post subject:

Wait, Why am I the author of this thread?

>_>
<_<

I demand Justice!

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Kids Book

I think it's gigawatt when one and gigawatt's when two.
But when there is 1.21 then it's jiggawatts.
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Jaena
Senior Otaku



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PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 10:10 pm    Post subject:

Sciler wrote:
,,,but I would hope that if someone comes to you in a time of weakness, you wouldnt just push them away or tell them to do something about it for themselves.


He did state specifically that he would be willing to help. As long as they are willing to put effort into it.


Not commenting other than that...

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Shandriz
Your Death Shall be Swift



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PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 11:17 pm    Post subject:

I have to say that I see both sides, really.

I think that people who have help available to them, and refuse to take it-- choosing instead to continue suffering and then end the suffering in their own way-- are selfish. (of course, I also think that everyone is selfish in some way, but that's another discussion altogether).

I also think that people cannot help being depressed, and that while not a disease, it -is- a disorder. Depression is usually caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. Therefore, no, not something they can control. Whether they choose to accept help or not, however, is within their control, and not accepting help is indeed selfish.

After all, the term 'selfish' refers to doing things for yourself only and not for others-- if you refuse to get help (when help is available), that's obviously doing something for yourself and not for everyone else around you. It may be hard to make that decision, and some people may not be capable of making the right one, but they should be held responsible for their own actions, no matter what caused them to take said actions. I have -tremendous- respect for those of you who managed to pull yourselves out of that pit. I'm glad you did, as is everyone else around you. I think everyone here shares that sentiment, at least.

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Doot
Cute and Non-Abrasive Hyper Hypo



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PostPosted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 9:49 am    Post subject:

Sciler wrote:
Ive known you for a long tiem now, and while you are very stubborn in your ways at times, I wouldnt want you to be any other way, but I would hope that if someone comes to you in a time of weakness, you wouldnt just push them away or tell them to do something about it for themselves.


I'm with you Sci but knowing the type of person David is in execution lends himself to be a much more giving person than on paper (or web). As hard as you come off, David I've seen you persistantly be there for those in need. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about and need no examples.

------

Shandriz wrote:

I think that people who have help available to them, and refuse to take it-- choosing instead to continue suffering and then end the suffering in their own way-- are selfish. (of course, I also think that everyone is selfish in some way, but that's another discussion altogether).


Shan, you hit the nail right on the head there. We are all selfish. I've only come across a few folks in my life I would not consider so and unfortunately can only count them on one hand. I fortunately reflect on these people when I get nastier than nasty in my emotions and they bring me back to earth without even knowing they've helped me.

------

If it comes down to someone with a disorder (I guess illness/disease was the wrong word) then if someone gives up on helping them because they don't get their desired result, would that not be considered selfish too? I do understand there is a need for self preservation and that you shouldn't live your life for others, however, if someone believes strongly of the judgement that someone with an addiction is worth giving up on at some point then they are admitting just as much selfishness (by the definition of the word).

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